Don't Look: Love Will Find You
We have heart this so many times before yet we don't realize how true it is. "Looking for love in all the wrong places" may be a saying that some of us know only too well, because when we have become lonely we think that finding someone is the cure. Being in love or having someone to love is not something we must desperately seek but rather something that will find us. This my friends is how it works:
Stop looking and just be. Live your life fully and do all the things for yourself that you seek to have someone do for you. Learn to self-care and do the things that bring you peace, love and centeredness. Take the time to rest, eat well and take care of your home. While you are alone you can be doing the very things that you may think you need someone else to do. Become motivated to do those things on your own and do so with an energy of excitement.
Keep going. Do things that keep your active and moving. Once you become use to doing things for yourself you will become focused on who is important, you. When you are busy doing the things that keep you going you will be less likely to be sitting and waiting for someone to come along and invite you to participate in your own life. Many of us are not accustomed to being active unless someone else is involved yet learning to do things on our own is the most healthy things we can and should do.
Learn the ways of the spa. One of the things I learned from women is the art of having someone pamper you even if you have to pay for it. The fact is that you deserve a massage, a pedicure, a manicure, a nice haircut or acupuncture. Whatever falls under self-care asks us to love ourselves enough to spend money treating ourselves to some sort of care that is enjoyable, fun or healing. I love that women call it a "spa day" but whatever one calls it does not matter as long as it is about taking good care of our body, mind or spirit.
Stop believing the BS we are fed. There's is nothing wrong with being single and there is not an expiration date on any of us for any reason. Although it may feel ideal to have children before a woman is 35 there are many women who have had children after that age or adopted them. We are bombarded by messages of marriage and other ways that are conventionally accepted as normal yet the truth is that marriage is not for everyone and some of us should never get married. In fact some of us may live happily single all of our life. We must know that all of those myths about being happy after we find the love or our life is simply that, a myth. Code for bullshit.
Love cannot be forced and when it is that is a bad thing. Many of us know firsthand the price we pay for forcing love and believing that we have to be partnered. Some of us have stayed in relationships for a very long time thinking that what we have is better than being alone. We fear loneliness and what it would be like to be alone because we don't believe we can live a full life alone. The reality is that we can and that many of us do. When we force love we accept the unacceptable, we stay even if we are abused and we take whatever we get not knowing we deserve more. Love cannot be forced and no matter how hard we try we cannot force love, for when we do we are miserable.
Love is what we have without question and without anyone else to validate us. The purest form of love is the love we feel for ourselves. If we don't love ourselves no one is going to love us into loving the very person who is the most important, us. Learning to love ourselves is the most valuable thing we can ever do in life. When we love ourselves we don't need to force love nor do we need anyone to love us more than we should already love our self.
Coach Elliott
Stop looking and just be. Live your life fully and do all the things for yourself that you seek to have someone do for you. Learn to self-care and do the things that bring you peace, love and centeredness. Take the time to rest, eat well and take care of your home. While you are alone you can be doing the very things that you may think you need someone else to do. Become motivated to do those things on your own and do so with an energy of excitement.
Keep going. Do things that keep your active and moving. Once you become use to doing things for yourself you will become focused on who is important, you. When you are busy doing the things that keep you going you will be less likely to be sitting and waiting for someone to come along and invite you to participate in your own life. Many of us are not accustomed to being active unless someone else is involved yet learning to do things on our own is the most healthy things we can and should do.
Learn the ways of the spa. One of the things I learned from women is the art of having someone pamper you even if you have to pay for it. The fact is that you deserve a massage, a pedicure, a manicure, a nice haircut or acupuncture. Whatever falls under self-care asks us to love ourselves enough to spend money treating ourselves to some sort of care that is enjoyable, fun or healing. I love that women call it a "spa day" but whatever one calls it does not matter as long as it is about taking good care of our body, mind or spirit.
Stop believing the BS we are fed. There's is nothing wrong with being single and there is not an expiration date on any of us for any reason. Although it may feel ideal to have children before a woman is 35 there are many women who have had children after that age or adopted them. We are bombarded by messages of marriage and other ways that are conventionally accepted as normal yet the truth is that marriage is not for everyone and some of us should never get married. In fact some of us may live happily single all of our life. We must know that all of those myths about being happy after we find the love or our life is simply that, a myth. Code for bullshit.
Love cannot be forced and when it is that is a bad thing. Many of us know firsthand the price we pay for forcing love and believing that we have to be partnered. Some of us have stayed in relationships for a very long time thinking that what we have is better than being alone. We fear loneliness and what it would be like to be alone because we don't believe we can live a full life alone. The reality is that we can and that many of us do. When we force love we accept the unacceptable, we stay even if we are abused and we take whatever we get not knowing we deserve more. Love cannot be forced and no matter how hard we try we cannot force love, for when we do we are miserable.
Love is what we have without question and without anyone else to validate us. The purest form of love is the love we feel for ourselves. If we don't love ourselves no one is going to love us into loving the very person who is the most important, us. Learning to love ourselves is the most valuable thing we can ever do in life. When we love ourselves we don't need to force love nor do we need anyone to love us more than we should already love our self.
Coach Elliott
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