No One Can Love You
I know you have heard it before. Things like: It is important to love yourself. You have also heard that loving yourself is selfish and that without love life is not worth living. I especially love the myth that promotes the idea that finding someone to love is what is meant to be and that we are not meant to be alone. It is just this kind of erroneous thinking that drives single people crazy and that causes so much confusion about being alone and the possibility of that being not just good but grand. The fact is that with or without someone in your bed at night you still have to love yourself more. This idea that life has more purpose with someone else in it is exactly why I have chosen to be single and enjoy each and every moment.
No one can ever love you more than you can love yourself. This is a truth yet now one we buy into. We would rather blame the fact that we are alone and lonely on our emotional unhappiness. The truth is that we would be unhappy in a relationship because we are unhappy inside. Being in a relationship won't change that. Finding out what it is that brings love and joy to our heart as a single being is likely the most crucial of life's lessons. When we learn it the rest is as they say "icing on the cake".
No one knows what will bring you love quite as accurately as you do. For me it is taking vacations alone and enjoying the company of anyone around me. The ability to find your loving and most joyous self is as simple as doing what is in your heart, what you yearn for. Setting the limit that you will enjoy life more with someone else you can vacation with is for me a sad, a very sad thing to believe. You know what is in your heart and what your heart is wants to do so it is easy, just do it.
When you do self loving things you don't need anyone else to do that for you. None of us need someone else to make us feel worthy of doing self nurturing things for ourselves. We got that message a long time ago but it's false message. It is a lie to think that we cannot feel blissfully in love on our own doing things that show that we love ourselves. Why do we need someone else to feel that feeling that we so deserve to feel now and in this moment, alone? We can do the very things that we would like someone else to do for us like: buy our own flowers, go on a cruise, take a dance class or play tennis. The more we learn to do those self-loving acts the less we will depend on anyone else even if we end up in a relationship. After all, the fact tell us that many if not most relationships don't last forever and are not "till death do we part". Do we really believe that shit?
When my grandfather died my grandmother died shorty after that. Just as we were making plans to bring her to our city to live she passed away. Some believe that she died of "a broken heart". We have all heard this old story, but I'd like to present a new story, one that is different from that one. There are many people whose spouses die and they live an even happier life. In fact some of them had spouses that were so dependent they were almost relieved that they died. Not because they were mean and did not love them still but because they realized that they loved themselves more than ever and that they deserved to be a happy widowed, forever single person. These are the people who loved themselves more than the person loved them and so they are able to carry on and carve out a new exciting life. I say yes to that. I think that when someone dies right after another person that is truly co-dependent. Why would any of us want to be so dependent that we would want to die after our spouse or lover dies? This is a sign of a really serious lack of self love.
I am single and with every year I feel more and more gratitude because it has taught me to be more self caring and more self loving but most of all more self sufficient. I have been in love and she was wonderful. In fact we remained good friends after I decided get divorced. Love is a wonderful thing and I won't minimize that. What I am saying is that being with someone should not be the reason that your life has meaning. Your life should have deep, profound emanating now. Your life should be fun and adventurous now. Life should be joyful and magical now. The reality is that with or without someone we must know the art of self nurturing and self love.
Coach Elliott
No one can ever love you more than you can love yourself. This is a truth yet now one we buy into. We would rather blame the fact that we are alone and lonely on our emotional unhappiness. The truth is that we would be unhappy in a relationship because we are unhappy inside. Being in a relationship won't change that. Finding out what it is that brings love and joy to our heart as a single being is likely the most crucial of life's lessons. When we learn it the rest is as they say "icing on the cake".
No one knows what will bring you love quite as accurately as you do. For me it is taking vacations alone and enjoying the company of anyone around me. The ability to find your loving and most joyous self is as simple as doing what is in your heart, what you yearn for. Setting the limit that you will enjoy life more with someone else you can vacation with is for me a sad, a very sad thing to believe. You know what is in your heart and what your heart is wants to do so it is easy, just do it.
When you do self loving things you don't need anyone else to do that for you. None of us need someone else to make us feel worthy of doing self nurturing things for ourselves. We got that message a long time ago but it's false message. It is a lie to think that we cannot feel blissfully in love on our own doing things that show that we love ourselves. Why do we need someone else to feel that feeling that we so deserve to feel now and in this moment, alone? We can do the very things that we would like someone else to do for us like: buy our own flowers, go on a cruise, take a dance class or play tennis. The more we learn to do those self-loving acts the less we will depend on anyone else even if we end up in a relationship. After all, the fact tell us that many if not most relationships don't last forever and are not "till death do we part". Do we really believe that shit?
When my grandfather died my grandmother died shorty after that. Just as we were making plans to bring her to our city to live she passed away. Some believe that she died of "a broken heart". We have all heard this old story, but I'd like to present a new story, one that is different from that one. There are many people whose spouses die and they live an even happier life. In fact some of them had spouses that were so dependent they were almost relieved that they died. Not because they were mean and did not love them still but because they realized that they loved themselves more than ever and that they deserved to be a happy widowed, forever single person. These are the people who loved themselves more than the person loved them and so they are able to carry on and carve out a new exciting life. I say yes to that. I think that when someone dies right after another person that is truly co-dependent. Why would any of us want to be so dependent that we would want to die after our spouse or lover dies? This is a sign of a really serious lack of self love.
I am single and with every year I feel more and more gratitude because it has taught me to be more self caring and more self loving but most of all more self sufficient. I have been in love and she was wonderful. In fact we remained good friends after I decided get divorced. Love is a wonderful thing and I won't minimize that. What I am saying is that being with someone should not be the reason that your life has meaning. Your life should have deep, profound emanating now. Your life should be fun and adventurous now. Life should be joyful and magical now. The reality is that with or without someone we must know the art of self nurturing and self love.
Coach Elliott
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