Coach Elliott

I was awaiting my next client this afternoon who had contacted me for an "emergency coaching session" at 1pm.  I thought about her history and how when we have met before it is all about her boyfriend and so little around her.  I thought that the responsible thing for me to do was to elevate this client to the next level of learning and self-care and love via self-caring questions.   I devised a worksheet for her to answer in service to refocusing her attention on what she can change and possibly steer her in that direction.  Now I would like to share the same questions with all of you, knowing fully that I have been in a place of focusing my attention on things and people I cannot possibly change.  Here goes the questions: Who, more than any other person would you like to change?  Why? What do you want this person to change about him or herself? Why? Have you been successful in changing anything about this person?  What? What do yo...

I just got off the phone with a friend who shared how much she hates this day.  Don't tell my sister because today is actually her "favorite holiday".  While my friend abhors Valentine's Day my sister uses it to show love to everyone around her including herself, putting on a red dress, going out on the town and celebrating all that love is.  Like other holidays it seems to me that Valentine's day is filled with advertisements that encourage us to spend money and feel as guilty as possible about the love we withheld or failed to express to the people we claim to love, specifically our spouses but let's not rule out friends.  This is for some the one and only time they buy flowers for their partner and use the words I love you more than  one time.  In fact, this is the one day that some wives finally get the massage they have been asking about for the past fifteen years.  All of a sudden their husband not only is ready with massage...

Of course it is!  Anything worth having is work and relationship is no exception.  Love and connection requires that we nurture another human being and it requires that we do the things that cultivate it and heal it when it needs healing.  Relationship is work and making a commitment to marriage, living as a couple or being with each other for any length of time holds us accountable to doing the things we need to do to put light and joy into it.  I know people who have stated that their relationship was "too much work".  I can believe that but I also think that we give up so easily when we are given the signs that there is some work to be done.  I am not sure what each and every person means when they say "too much" but speaking for myself and my own experience I have some difficulties understanding how relationship can end because it requires us to stand up some times when there is darkness and despair or sadness and loss.  It is goddess a...