Change Me or Change Them
I was awaiting my next client this afternoon who had contacted me for an "emergency coaching session" at 1pm. I thought about her history and how when we have met before it is all about her boyfriend and so little around her. I thought that the responsible thing for me to do was to elevate this client to the next level of learning and self-care and love via self-caring questions. I devised a worksheet for her to answer in service to refocusing her attention on what she can change and possibly steer her in that direction. Now I would like to share the same questions with all of you, knowing fully that I have been in a place of focusing my attention on things and people I cannot possibly change. Here goes the questions:
Who, more than any other person would you like to change? Why?
What do you want this person to change about him or herself? Why?
Have you been successful in changing anything about this person? What?
What do you think needs to be changed or heal in your life? Why?
How will you produce change and healing in your life? Who or what is involved in this process?
Talk about (write, free style) how you feel right now about changing others and yourself:
Once you have finished this exercise I would like to invite all of you to do something in the moment that may bring healing change to your life. Take 20-30 minutes to do one or two things that you sense would create change (read, write, pray, meditate, ask for guidance, color, write a poem).
We know ultimately that we can only change ourselves and that the one thing we have the power to do for others is to pray for them and send them light and love. Still we try to manifest change for others based on concern and based on love. The truth is that we cannot change anyone and that when we are in that place of wanting someone to do something differently we are many times in judgment of them. We want to fix another person who we think needs to "see the writing on the wall" and yet some wise men and women would say that "we don't need fixing". It is my intention to share with others that we can wish healing for others and be a positive role model for them but we cannot make them drink of the water. They must have an awareness that they need to nourish their heart and soul, we cannot make them do that.
Ask yourself why you feel compelled to change someone else. Ask yourself this easy question and you may get clarity within around why you want to change others. It may very well be that there needs to be a change in you and that taking the focus off of yourself and placing it on others is a sign that the direct healing is within you. The change that needs to happen is about you.
Love and Light,
Coach Elliott
Who, more than any other person would you like to change? Why?
What do you want this person to change about him or herself? Why?
Have you been successful in changing anything about this person? What?
What do you think needs to be changed or heal in your life? Why?
How will you produce change and healing in your life? Who or what is involved in this process?
Talk about (write, free style) how you feel right now about changing others and yourself:
Once you have finished this exercise I would like to invite all of you to do something in the moment that may bring healing change to your life. Take 20-30 minutes to do one or two things that you sense would create change (read, write, pray, meditate, ask for guidance, color, write a poem).
We know ultimately that we can only change ourselves and that the one thing we have the power to do for others is to pray for them and send them light and love. Still we try to manifest change for others based on concern and based on love. The truth is that we cannot change anyone and that when we are in that place of wanting someone to do something differently we are many times in judgment of them. We want to fix another person who we think needs to "see the writing on the wall" and yet some wise men and women would say that "we don't need fixing". It is my intention to share with others that we can wish healing for others and be a positive role model for them but we cannot make them drink of the water. They must have an awareness that they need to nourish their heart and soul, we cannot make them do that.
Ask yourself why you feel compelled to change someone else. Ask yourself this easy question and you may get clarity within around why you want to change others. It may very well be that there needs to be a change in you and that taking the focus off of yourself and placing it on others is a sign that the direct healing is within you. The change that needs to happen is about you.
Love and Light,
Coach Elliott
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