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How We Die And Live

I am the very first one in line when it comes to questions about living and also about dying.  I know nothing and yet I sense that all of my life I have been living to die and more recently am convinced that we are all here to die, at least eventually.  Yet the big difference to me is when people are terminally ill and it seems it is a much more daunting task to live each day, fully, and in a way that honors the spirit.  I have no really perception but I do sense that fear is the only thing between living with some kind of excitement and meaning and living just to someday die. A man I will name Pablo has been battling with cancer for over ten years.  During his struggle he and I have become so close as so feel like best friend, like brothers.  He has gone from the smaller diagnosis of cancer to now having full blown stage four lung cancer lined with large tumors over his lung and his heart.  Still it seems that each day he manages to see something of good with the help of his daughte

Monogamy Is Natural?

A simple definition of monogamy is that one is committed to one person sexually and don't have any sex with any other person.  Much of the time we assume that if we marry someone that it is a monogamous relationship, yet if we do not have the conversation it is likely not a good idea to assume that the other person will not stray.  Many well-educated and well-versed people will say that monogamy is not natural while there are others who believe that the only way to be in a relationship is to be monogamous.  Whatever side one is on is not as important to me as sharing what I have observed, experienced and counseled couples through as it relates to monogamy.   Monogamy as Natural:  It seems apparent to me given the facts that for some monogamy is simply not natural.  For many people monogamy is a struggle and eventually becomes so difficult that they fail at it, resulting in what we refer to as affairs.  Still we are living in a society that publicly promotes one partner at a

Ageless Beauty

We have all heard these two words together: "ageless beauty".  What this means is that we can look beautiful at any age and although the messages all around us promote youth there is not one good reason why we should subscribe to it.  In the book "Advanced Style" a photographer features women who are of the average age of sixty and many of them are older.  They are all discovered on the streets of NYC because of the way they were dressed, each of them in their own artistic and advanced style and some of them wearing layers of jewelry adorning their person.  It all started with a man who wanted to honor his grandmother's style and to show the world that beautiful does not have an age limit. How is it then that we can be beautiful at any age?   Here's what I think: Flaunt Your Style:  Be willing to bypass the notion that after a certain age you must downplay your style.  In fact, think about the opposite which is to flaunt your style.  Go big and go bold

Women and Harrassment

There is a more recent campaign to bring attention to the harassment of women referred to as "Me Too". As men we don't normally experience the same kind of disrespect the way that so many women know only too well.  We can talk about it until we are exhausted yet what has to happen is for men to get involved in every aspect of a woman's right to be respected and in fact honored.  The only way to win the fight is for everyone to stand up and he heard and for law enforcement and the court system to have specific ways to address the abuse of women.  It is shocking to me that we are still trying to figure this out when it is such a long standing issue.  We are still putting women through more pain by questioning their motive and by simply not believing them. When any woman reports harassment at work there should be some specific steps that have to be followed.  No company should be scrabbling for ways to address an issue of sexual harrassment in the workplace when this h

Addiction and Woman

Yesterday I read an article about the rise in opioid drugs and even heroin with women, in particular suburban women/ women who have money.  The shocking part is that when they can no longer get pain medications they will turn to heroin as a viable and often times less expensive alternative.  Once addicted people do some truly astonishing things that are out of their character and no one is above addiction.  Although the statistics are shocking I would like to shine more light around the why of addiction than the numbers. A History: Whenever I have talked to women who are addicted to drugs there is almost always a history of a life lived that has been extraordinarily hurtful including sexual, verbal and physical abuse. One typical substance is alcohol which although some people would say is not a drug, I am in agreement with the medical professionals that it in fact is a drug, often times the drug of choice because it is easy to get and is after all "legal".  We cannot cur

Being Your Beautiful

I believe it was Marilyn Monroe who said: "be your own kind of beautiful".  I think much of our beauty comes from inside and from other factors.  Hence there are times when you look at yourself in the mirror and you think: "ugh" or you think "hey, I am beautiful".  I think that it has a lot to do with where our hearts are at and our attitude that makes us more attractive not just to others but to ourselves.  I also want to remind everyone that beauty as we see it in Vogue or Elle is a very limited kind of beauty and in fact a very predictable kind of beauty.  What we think beautiful and we sell to the public is all about marketing and has really nothing to do with radiant and lasting beauty.  In order for each of us to be our own kind of beautiful we need to: Pump Up Your Personality: I was married to a woman who would walk into a room full of people and they would follow her as she walked to her chair.  She was stunning but what made her gorgeous w

Visualize It, Manifest It.

Let me just excuse myself from the non-believers as I know you are out there and the mere idea of believing and then achieving seems silly.  If you are one of these people, you should stop reading now and simply not waste any time because if you don't believe in yourself then you will not understand how manifestation works.  This blog is not just about believing and then getting what you believe in but more importantly how to go from the thought of being your highest self to actually being your highest self. And so if you believe, even a little, keep going because this is about having what you want in life ether spiritually, emotionally or physically.  Here are some ways to get there: Setting Your Intention: The very first thing to do when you want to manifest something (joy, money, relationship) is to set your intention.  You can set your intention by speaking of what you want in a way that feels intentional. An intention can sound like this: My intention is to become finan