Coach Elliott

I am not going to give up on myself until I stop breathing and even then I will ask spirit to give me one more chance to get it right.  That brings me to the next part of evolving which is not only to never give up but to understand that giving up is saying yes to the parts of you that may have been shamed into thinking that what you want is not available.  We have to be willing to make some mistakes in order to get to the place that is right for us.  A place where our heart, body and spirit feel centered and in some loving form.  When we allow our mistakes to stop our progress or our journey we freeze and we tend to stay in a state of despair.  When we give up on ourselves we are not just giving up on our selves we are giving up on those people who love us, some of which look to us for guidance, like our children, our nieces and our grandchildren.  When we give up we are giving up on our spirit and all of the things we are destined to accomplish as well as the idea that we are rea

I would like to continue the theme of evolving and making this the focus of the new year that is fast approaching.  I want to encourage you to let go of the old belief that there is a need for resolutions and to approach this year as a year of evolving and transforming.  Here are some tips that might be useful.  Have a plan.   Having a plan when needed is a way of making sure that you get around to making your dreams and goals actualize.  Although there is not always a need for a plan we can sense when and if we need to make one.  As you think about the new year consider what it is in your life that either needs to be executed or needs to be healed.  A plan has to include the various parts of who you are as a whole.  The spiritual part, the physical part, the emotional part, the financial aspects, the emotional part and the creative joy aspect.  Your plan can be one that encompasses a year in your life.  It will have parts that will be ongoing like daily prayer or meditation.  You ma

I hope that you have already noticed that I did not refer to or title this blog a "New Year's Resolution" but rather A New Year Evolution.  This is of course is purposeful.  I often tell my husband that I am a methodical Bi_ _ _ mostly because often times I have a purpose in mind and everything is planned to the level where it's ridiculously precise, sometimes too precise.  In this case I am referring to the purpose of this blog as one that is premeditated and a message that resonates for me and I hope resonates for you as well.  A new year revolution is about evolving, of course and that means change and a willingness to let go of the past, therefor living in the present.  I want to add that as I write this I am listening to the new Rhianna CD one that  I should be too old to listen to but I find not only provocative and sexy but in some ways profound because it is addressing what many of us would rather deny about our sexuality and our persona, but I regress.  As yo

If someone asks you about your darkest moments you might think about the time someone in your family died, a divorce or getting fired from a job.  It's funny how in the aftermath of these things we realize that we are OK, that some of our darkness was not so dark and that we have survived all of those dark experiences.  Re framing our situation gives us the strength and wisdom we need to see that not all of what happened to us is terribly bad and that in the end we are able to manage it.  If our dog dies we might soon see a re frame by thinking about the joy we experienced with our dog.  If our favorite aunt moves to Spain and we feel sadness about it, it may help to see it as an opportunity to go to Spain every year and learn how to talk to her live on our computer.  Re framing doesn't take much.  It is simply looking for the right parts in what we think is the wrong situation for us.  We may not be able to do this every time but we can do it sometimes and whenever it is pos

Today I had my family over for a Christmas Eve celebration.  There were about 20 people in all and each one of them special in their own way.  My heart was filled with love and the energy was all about enjoying the moment.  Some danced, some sang, some had a political dialog and some sat quietly observing and taking it all in.  The diversity of my family, African American, Hispanic, French, Italian, Mexican, Irish and German to name a few makes our family a truly embracing one that reaches out to others like the few who were in attendance who did not have an occasion of their own or whose family does not live in Chicago.  They became part of the family today and my observation was that they felt accepted and loved. All in all it was a beautiful event that honored the people who love me and those whom I love.  Then to my dismay I receive an email from one of the condo association members stating that the board members believe me to be "a liar".  I have to admit that the fi

It becomes more clear to me as I age and become wiser that boundaries are more essential to living a joyful life than ever before.  Setting those boundaries is not an easy task but we all need to do it and if we do we will be happier and healthier human beings.  Each person we interact with daily and those we happen to interact with in the moment need to know what our boundaries are and be clear that we have clarity around the lines we draw.  Boundaries can be seen as the perimeters within which we live our life and what people need to know and honor about our personal space.  Not setting boundaries results in some complicated and at times troublesome situations that are not only uncomfortable for you but also for others who are unclear as to where your lines are located and why.  We must know what our perimeters are and where the lines are drawn and in this manner let others know.  This requires that we speak up when someone crosses them.  As I shared recently my boundaries were cro

I use to believe that my dark side should be concealed or denied.  I bet some of you have been raised to believe that your dark side is something to be ashamed of, control or make believe does not exist.   Like me you may have falsely deduced that you should stuff this aspect of you and these feelings down.  Often times when I when I expressed anger, jealous  feelings, resentment or desires it was more often than not labeled dark and wrong.  Many of us have been raised in an environment where it was simply not acceptable to express anything that looked, felt or was dark in nature. The affect that holding back our dark feelings (anger, resentment, jealousy) has become evident in our society in the form of serious crimes where anger and forms of darkness has been expressed in the most inappropriate manner.  Although we know that anger is not always expressed in a healthy and productive it seems almost impossible not to express it in a way that some deem bad or label as wrong.   Of cour

Yes it is intentional that I have titled this BLOG the "Holidaze".  I believe that some of us go into a daze and even a blank gaze during the holidays from the stress and the need to give gifts to everyone even if we cannot afford it.  The Christmas holidays are an absolutely perfect time to get into debt that many of us will not recover from until the next holiday when we do it all over again.  Partners and parents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters and grandparents want to please others by giving them exactly what they wish for and at times go overboard.  Susan wants a designer dress and Mike wants a pair of Nike gym shoes that just came out, while mom has a dream of getting a cashmere sweater.  It is so wonderful to give and to receive what we would like and the holidays seem like a good time to do just that.  The other side of that coin is that we tend to spend way too much money and don't realize it until we receive the credit card statement.  It is so much fun

Life is a series of wonderful experiences and I guess I have to admit some not so wonderful moments.  I use to ask myself what I would do if I knew what I was doing?  The truth is that I don't always know what to do or when or why to do it.  I have been giving this much thought and what showed up was a formula that might help me and others I am being asked to serve.  This is what came to me: Organize, prioritize, visualize and it will materialize.   I admit that I am not a genius and I doubt that if I were tested I would come up as a protege in any area of my brain, and I am so OK with that.  It suffices that I still have the facility and brain power to make some loving decisions for myself in spite of the fact that life has handed me some lemons.  I am proud to say that I too have made the lemonade and that by doing so I have bypassed some circumstances that needed an application of creativity.  I have been thinking about this concept (organize, prioritize, visualize and materia