Coach Elliott

What I have learned is that we don't need to do anything to get back at the people who have hurt us or we deem an enemy.  Although it is easy to hate people who hate us the reality is that hating them only hurts us most of all.  Here is what I think about handling him our feelings about people who have abused our emotions: Forgive everyone for everything:  This comes directly from the book by Iyanla Vanzant I read.  In order for us to live life fully and without letting what others did towards us is by forgiving them.  We may need to make some very specific statements to that effect and we should do that. On the other hand we must also forgive ourselves because some of the residue from the abuse is because we feel as though we were deserving of it or we think we did something to make others do what they did to us.  Forgiving ourselves should be the very first forgiving we do.  Here are some forgiveness statements: I forgive myself for judging my father as purposely trying to d

Those of you who know me personally might be aware that I don't use the word "old".  I don't think that people should be referred to with a word like old and I believe that as we live longer lives we are wiser and that we can be looked upon as "seasoned".  For me the word seasoned means that we have lived a good life and that we have gone from one season to another experiencing life and the many ups and downs of it.  I don't see the word old as one that honors any human being for their acquisition of wisdom and the things they have been able to overcome.  I for one consider myself a seasoned man not an "old man". There are so many meanings to the word old but the one that I am not in agreement with is the connotation that older is less than and younger is more important.  Unfortunately we live in a world where youth is celebrated and seasoned people are looked down on.  The thought is that younger people are more attractive or that they are m

Most of us have noticed that there are women out there that look awesome at fifty and above.  We admire these women because they take the time to look great and make aging look easy.  How do these women do it?  What is their secret?  Here's what I think: Women who care about the way they look present a persona who is joyful and youthful.  They present themselves in a way that says they care and they adorn themselves in their own personal style. Women who take the extra time and make the extra effort to look great usually defy their age.  We could all learn something from this simple idea.  When you look awesome you feel awesome.  It may be onl part of the process but it's a very essential one. Caring about the way she looks takes an every day women to an extraordinary one. There is much to be said about the perfect "little black dress." Self-care is another basic element of women who look good at any age.  Women who take care of themselves by using products that m

Recently an FB friend of mine started a group referred to as "The Fierce 50 Movement".  It is all about celebrating women who are fifty and over.  Although we have been hearing a lot about women over 50 and most of us who pay attention know they can be quite fierce, many of us fail when it comes to understanding what this really means.  We know these women when they are in the media and famous in some way but we don't believe that they exist in the real world.  In fact, most of the time we fail to notice them.  While we have often times celebrated men of 50 and even older we tend to dismiss women who are "older".  And so here is the time for us to take notice of women over 50, all of them.  I for one would like to bring them to the forefront and to share my own magical experience with  women who are seasoned (my word to replace the word "old").  No more. Some years back a young man decided to capture what he referred to as "advanced style".

Audrey Hepburn who is most famous for her role in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" thought herself too tall, lanky and not attractive by her own standards.  Betty Davis was considered to be too rough around the edges while Katherine Hepburn never considered herself to be the ideal Hollywood beauty.  Marilyn Monroe was a country girl who had a dream bigger than what most girls like her would pursue.  She has remained one of the most admired women in the world.  Every one of these women are icons of beauty and of talent.  Yet today there are still limited images of what we think beautiful and those images are still very limited as we can see month after month in magazines like Vogue, Elle and Vanity Fair.  Yet every once in a while a woman like Adel graces the cover of Vogue as she did just a few months ago.  We may not yet graduated to a place of reality when it comes to women and what is considered beautiful we are realizing that for many women beauty is about what is on the ins

"Believe that what your heart does not speak is not for you or others to hear." Coach Elliott This quote came to me today for someone I am coaching.  Whenever something comes up like this and I am compelled to share it I do exactly that, knowing that my intuition rarely fails me and that they may very well need to hear this message in this moment.  Often times we get intuitive messages that we ignore and unfortunately for some ignoring it comes at a high cost. Today my intuition is asking me to share on a subject that is near to me and of which I needed to be reminded.  The question I am asking myself all day is: What does my heart say?   When I listen to my heart it rarely fails me and of course when I allow the ego to guide my decisions I often find myself feeling defeated, mostly because it is the heart that leads us to the path of less frustration and the path of light. Every decision we make is an opportunity to check in with our hearts.  Every time something seems

Today I want to dedicate this love holiday to the people I love.  I want to express what each person means to me and to open my heart up completely.  I want to honor the people who have loved me and been a part of molding  the person I am today.  It is my hope that by my sharing my own intimate feelings that all of you will dedicate some time to honoring those you love. Isabel was my maternal grandmother who we lived with after my parents were separated and divorced.  She took my mother and all four of us kids in when we were in need, making sure that we were fed, clothed and loved.  She was a task master and she ran the home.  What she said was usually what was done and my experience was that my grandfather appreciated her.  He knew that he could depend on her and so did us children.  For my grandma every day was a day to serve by making great meals, keeping a home beautiful, washing clothes, ironing and even baking a pound cake from scratch.  I think that my grandma was the very fi

Although there are plenty of chocolates and floral arrangements out there for Valentine's Day I want to share some more unique last minute ideas with all of you: Bud vase and flower:  Buy one great looking flower of a higher quality and a bud vase.  The most simple single flower will look great inside a small vase with a small opening.  It can be a larger flower like a white Lilly or a Gerber daisy.  Better one flower than a bunch of cheap flowers that are going to wilt in a short time. Make a card:  Get some craft paper and make your own card.  See what is laying around the house and use it to make a very special home made card for the one you love.  Some card stock paper and a little Elmer's glue could be all that you need.  A card you make yourself will be appreciated even more than a store bought expensive Hallmark card. Sew something sweet:  Get a remnant piece of fabric from JoAnne's or another fabric store and make a scarf or a pillow that says I love you.  

People get into relationships and during the entire course of it they put little to no work into it.  Often times the reason they don't think about doing the homework required is that they think they are perfect and that relationships should be filled with bliss, all the time, every day, day in and day out.  The reality is that relationships are work and that if you are not wiling to do the work you should stay single and leave everyone the hell alone.  There is no room for selfish, egotistic maniacs in relationships of love.  Although some may think relationships are for fun and excitement or to have someone to meet their needs, that is not the way it really is.  Every person in every relationship needs to do their part and even if you think you are an angel trust me you are not, no one is, not me, not you. The very fist thing to note in any relationship is whether the other person honors you.  The way that this becomes evident is in their daily behaviors and in the fact that th

I am a proud dad of two daughters that are 38 and 33 years young.  I say young because they will forever be daddy's girls, as often times they remind me of.  I guess I am a little different in that I never really worried about having a son to "carry the name" because I believe that my daughters will carry it with them just as well as any male.  I can proudly say that I can tie a perfect bow and that having daughters is the best thing that ever happened to me. My heart breaks for some of my daughter's friends who don't have their dads in their life.  Although they are doing well I think there is a spot in their heart that must miss that kind of love, the kind of love I have for my daughters.  All of their lives many of their friends have looked to me as a dad figure and I am certainly honored to be that to them however minor.  As I sit here and think of some of those women I send them love and light because it is not easy to not have a dad in your life.  I know b

My saying since Donald became our president is "We can Stump Trump".  I am not sure of all the ways that we will do that but I have some ideas to ponder: Rally, Protest: Take the time to attend rallies and protests that are relevant.  Keep in mind that when you participate there could be some dangers involved.  I say that if you see things getting out of hand just leave the situation completely.  Rallies and protests are risky but without them our country would not be where it is relative to civil rights especially.  Trump needs to see that people are constantly watching and documenting the things he is doing that are out of line with democracy.  He may think himself very powerful in the business world but now he must answer to all of us. Don't react:  When we react we say unkind things and as you can see much of it is on the social media.  Trump has been humiliated to the degree where I myself am not in agreement with it.  WE don't need to make him a joke, he i