Coach Elliott

I'm in the process of buying a home and realizing anew what a crazy endeavor this is. Everyone wants to make money and not only do you pay through the nose for everyone to get a part of the action you can bet that it will be thousands starting with the 5% the realtor makes and closing costs that can be as high as 5000 dollars for things only the attorney understands. Then there is attorney fees of 400-600 dollars and we won't even talk about what is involved when you are ready to buy your next home! Omg! It's simply outrageous! The anxiety and tension could kill a person. Here are some tips I want to share with all of you about buying and selling: 1. Don't necessarily believe that the asking price is what the realtor suggests. They normally want to sell a home fast and will lower the asking price so as to sell it quickly. 2. Interview a few realtors, ask them to bring comps and ask them what they think about what you want (not them) for your home.  Determine if thi

As some of my friends and family know I have a lot of women friends.  It seems that I have been attracted to women all my life and even fascinated to be perfectly honest.  I find women to be fuller in their personalities and their view of life as well.  I also feel that women are powerful as a group, although there is still much to be said about equal pay for equal jobs. Despite what may happen around them, women tend to be able to handle it.  They survive sexual abuse, emotional abuse and physical abuse and most of the time they continue to live a productive and beautiful life.  In one instance I spoke to a friend and found out that her older brother had sexually abused her for many years of her life.  I barely responded to her sharing this information with her when she said: "Oh, I have already forgiven him, that was a long time ago".  I then discovered that she speaks to her brother on a regular basis.  Her feelings were that holing a grudge and focusing on it was not in

For a little while in my life I taught Salsa dance.  I could feel the energy of the people I taught to dance and witnessed the smiles on their faces.  One day a woman who had been divorced by her husband cried while she danced with me.  It was in that moment that I realized how healing dance was and just how much it meant to her and to others.  I recall another woman saying to me "Salsa dancing changed my life".  I was floored by that and other comments like these by women who seemed to have found something profound in dance. I know for sure that in my life dance has healed me and made me feel more whole.  When I dance salsa I feel like the little boy in me is smiling and there are even times when I am dancing where I literally laugh.  The lyrics and the beat take me to some imaginary place inside of me.  It is for me a magical reaction of love and laughter. My best friend who I will call Edith learned to dance with me and met her partner at one of her lessons.  I will ne

Today I was reading from the "Course in Miracles" and in each of the paragraphs we read there was something pertinent and much of it was about the ego.  The ego mind is the one that taps you on the shoulder and sends you messages that are not just deceiving they are not in your best interest. The ego tries to convince us that we need more things, that people are disconnected from us, that we are too good for some people or that or lives are not enough as they are.  The ego steals our gratitude and plays tricks on us.  It is the subconscious mind where the ego thrives and lives a life of distraction and hate.  We fall for the ego because we are not focused on what is important.  We are more focused on what we can manipulate and who we can manipulate. The ego runs a muck inside those of us who don't live with intention and who don't understand that what really runs our life is our spirit.  The ego does not recognize any other form of fight other than our connection

Here is my own lame attempt at evaluating a movie on Netflix so if you have this at home read carefully because this is my first. The movie is called: Eat With Me: **** This movie is gay oriented for those of you who may be offended although it is not graphic.  Just as one might guess Eat With Me has a direct connection in the movie.  About an Asian man who is not out and his mother who is not so keen about gays.  A neighbor who is a great actress: Tomay and  boyfriend who is hot.  The story line would not seem to be of interest and I was frankly riveted because of the more normal way they depict gay  men, versus the stereotype of a gay man. I would say that this movie gave gay romance a more wholesome and normal twist.  It made me feel like someone in the movie industry gets it.  Even the beautiful friendship between woman of a different time and space captured my heart. I would give "Eat With Me" 4 out of 5 stars and would base it on great acting, interesting story

Sometimes in life we must throw out the old and makes things new.  It is not easy to make these new but when we do we create a new beginning.  Making things new means looking at every area of your life and saying: "I am not that story".  Making things new means changing what has not been working for you for years.  It is unfortunate but once we make something a babit, good or bad, we tend to stick to it for a long time.  Something in our "DNA" likes us to do things that we are use to and comfortable with.  Things that don't require us to think or to make any extra effort.  We become stagnant and we do so by doing the same thing repeatedly thinking we are someday going to get a different result.   What we know is that when we keep doing things the same way we don't get different results. Take a different route to work.  Take the 56 bus and walk the rest of the way.  Ride your bike to work.  Change your route and your mode of transportation.  Taking a differ

Men will and have played emotional games with women forever.  Women need to know who they are inside and be confident.  They also need to know what the games are that men play.  This awareness is essential when dating and choosing a man that is serious minded and who has good intentions.  Often times it is difficult to figure out the games men play, especially when you are a young woman starting to date or a woman who has little experience dating.  Either way here are some games men play: The Charm You to Lay You Game:  Men pretend to like you and even be overwhelmed by you in order to get you to have sex with them.  They will use language that makes you believe you are very special and that they are literally falling for you.  Some may even say things like "I think I am falling in love with you/falling for you". The Still Looking at  Girls Game:  Men will test drive you and at the same time they are looking around for other women.  They will make you think your the onl

Men have some very old tricks that they have been using since the land before time.  Women are sometimes so honest that they expect men to be the same when in fact many men are not.  Many women have shared that men are one way when they are romancing them and less than a year later they don't recognize them, and this is because there are some basic ways men trick women into falling into a relationship with them: 1.  Overexcessive compliments 2.  Romantic Starters 3.  Making you feel sorry for them 4. Depicting their life as perfect 5.  Lying about what they do for a living or embellishing It is always nice to get a compliment, however men who shower you with so many compliments it feels odd or uncomfortable is a sign that you are being dupped.  Men who cannot stop complimenting you on how beautiful you are and how wonderful you are may be setting you up.  Later these men will stop complimenting you and in fact at times begin to insult you.  Overly attentive men who are cons

After many years of being with someone we become accustomed to that familiarity.  We even stay in spite of the fact that we may be in it for all the wrong reasons and when we are treated poorly and with little respect.  But how do we get out of these situations and when do we know to take that exit: 1.   The moment that you are disrespected in any way by someone who alleges they love you or anyone they know or are related to it is time to exit.  It is not going to get any better and the only thing that can come out of a lack of respect is self-abuse and a lowering of our self-esteem.  It is never a good sign when someone makes fun of you in ways that feel hurtful or like digs, couched as a joke.  Jokes should not begin with you as the brunt of the joke.  Stay clear of any person who begins by putting you down or criticizing you soon into the relationship.  It is a sign of things to come. 2.   When you figure out someone seems emotionally absent or lacks emotion that is truly the t

If I look back at my life as a child in school I recall teachers asking us to "say your sorry".  It was to me at that time an embarrassing experience and admitting I was wrong was humiliating.  I wished for a private place to apologize for what I'd done and when it was a classmate I felt embarrassed and sad for them.  Yet there is something healing about aplogizing to others for what we have said or done that has hurt someone else. I was talking to a young lady who shared that when she was younger she did not get along well with her mother.  She went on to say that it was not until her mother apolgized to her that she began to have a friendship with her.  It was that simple apolgoy that turned a relaitonhip between a mother and her daughter that turned things around. I recall my own upbringing and how my own mother and I could not see eye to eye.  Even to this day she is astranged and we rarely speak.  Months go by and we don't exchange a word.  The past experienc

Matt Sheppard was a gay young man who died in a way no one should die.  He died because he was gay and even to this day there is a battle being fought and gay men being beat up.  They call this a hate crime now and it has a larger legal penalty allegedly. Today I am writing about Matt because like many gay men I sometimes worry about what could happen to me for being openly gay.  Although I don't announce it to strangers there are clues at times to others that make them hostile towards me.  Recently I wore a tunic top for men, now in fashion with jeans and as I walked out of my car to my friend's home a car passed by and yelled "fag" at me.  There were at least four men in the car.  I was startled and at the same time felt shamed.  What was this about and what did I do?  I thought about this for a few seconds as if it were my fault they yelled a slur remark at me.  I soon recovered from it because I knew it was not my situation to own or be shamed about.  Still it w