Coach Elliott

Starting the new year right is going to take a lot of love and time but it is going to be worth it.  Here are six ways to start your new year right!   1.   Clean out your closet and drawer and shelves of clothing and shoes you don't wear:  Get rid of clothes and shoes cluttering your closet.  Anything you have not worn for a season is usually a good measure of something you need to let go of and give away.  Find the nearest donation box or place of business.  Please don't throw it in the garbage.  When you give to your Goodwill or Salvation army you are also recycling and saving the planet.  Be in clear consciousness and give it away to someone.   2.   Clean out your fridge and cabinets of all food that is not aligned with good health:  Clean out your fridge (I did today) of all the things that are high fat or have a lot of sugar or you know you should not be eating if you are for example diabetic.  Start the new year with lots of fruit and veggies in your fridge.

Here are five wonderful New Year's Evolutions: Each one is in a category of their own such as: spiritual, financial, physical, emotional, personal and creative.  As you make your own evolutions think about each aspect of your life because each one is important.   1. To become more complete and connected spiritually by practicing spiritual exercises.  Attending church services at least two Sundays a month for a year.  Practicing meditation twice a day three days a week for twenty minutes, for one year. 2. To commit to becoming financially responsible, not worry over money, give money a different meaning and save money when possible.  Saving 100.00 per paycheck for 12 months. 3. To eat healthy food and be healthier by working out and staying active. 4. To allow yourself your emotions and to share them with those you love, connecting emotionally and being emotionally present as often as possible. Ongoing 5. To take what others think of you and shelve it, not taking it personally

In less than twenty four hours it will be New Year's Eve.  There will be parties and there will be what people refer to as resolutions.  I would rather see life as a constant evolution and not as a resolution at any time for any purpose.  I feel like resolutions make it seem as though we need to fix ourselves because there is something wrong with us and I say we don't need fixing. I want to make an evolution and continue to evolve into the best person I can possibly be adding to an already wonderful canvas.  I would like to see others look at the new year as an evolution and as a continuum.  A consistent and constant movement forward.  That is what the true meaning is about to me and my spirit. Tonight I will go to a friend's home with my youngest daughter because she loves to get dressed up and so do I frankly.  I know that we will have a great time since we are usually very much in collaboration whatever we do whether it is cooking or going to a dinner party.  She is

As the new year approaches I ponder what my new life will be like.  It is one with disabilities and with limitations but not without love.  There is pain and there are times when I wish it were all over yet somehow I get through it again and feel like I would rather live and learn.  In a way the things that have happened to me have been a blessing.  I would not wish others to learn this way but it is the way that God selected for me.  Every day I see more light and learning from all of it.  The good, the bad and the meanness of others.  The lack of forgiveness and my own quest to forgive.  Nothing would have made me imagaine this happening to me yet again I feel like I have learned so much from the experience and I know that justice will prevail. In god's name I live my life and I continue to view things from the lense of healing.  I know he will heal me and that even if I am not cured I will be healed.  I will experience paradise because that is His promise to me, to all of us.

Today I want to write a little bit about how it feels to be abandoned and the long term effect it has had on me and maybe others who have had this happen to them.  It is not a new concept or happening and is as old as time.  God was forsaken  and many of us have as well.  Although I don't recommend you relive it unless you are ready I will say that I feel ready to share my own personal story about that empty feeling when someone abandons you. My story begins with my father who left my mother when I was six years old.  My mother and him had a very rocky relationship and in fact it seems to me it was at times abusive.  I only remember my parents in conflict and my father as a womanizer.  I can only recall two scenarios with my father, one where he is holding me as we sit on the sofa, one where he is htting me in bed for not going to sleep on time and the other when I accidently walked into the bathroom and he was getting out of the shower and started to shout at me.  I also recall

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways?"  How can I show you love, let me show you all the ways.  I think that we need to live love with intention and the intention is to find ways to show our love.  I also believe that most of us are lazy with love and selfish with our love and our money.  We must practice the ways to show love if we are to have a person in our life to love and keep them surprised, engaged and interested in love with us.  Love is demonstrating our feelings not just saying it and showing it for some of us is the hardest thing we will ever do or so it seems that way. I love my children, I love my brother and sister and I love my granddaughters emensely.  I like to find ways to show them that I am thinking about them and by doing little things for them I am demonstrating and showing them love.  It gets harder to come up with new ways to do that but it is also a lot of fun and good for the heart and for the relationship.  Find ways to show the ones you lov

Love is everything believe me when I tell you, love is everything.  Love can heal anything and love can conquer anything.  "Love is all we need". Love fights hate and eliminates it most of the time.  An application of love will save the world and save you.  Love is the very thing that brought us to this earth and love is what will sustain us.  Love is the reason that peeople couple and get married.  Love is what a baby needs to be healthy and whole.  Without love and being held monkies display some depressive and angry behaviors and that is only one example of what lack of love can do.  In any relationship there has to be love and when there is not or it costs a price to love it is harmful.  When we have to earn love it is sad and it makes us sad.  No one should have to earn love.  We show love in many ways some of which dont' make sense even when someone is abusive or bullying us.  Children will show love and continue to love an abusive parent and when they are taken fro

I have like many of you gotten into trouble for not thinking.  I got into trouble more than once with people for saying and doing things that are unaligned with love.  Since then I have forgiven myself because the alternative is to punish myself.  That of course is not in my spiritual option.  It is not an option at all in fact.  And so I have forgiven myself even if I have not been forgiven.  I am OK with that. Here are some tips to keeping yourself in tact and out of trouble and grief: 1.   Don't take things personally.   Don't allow anyone's opinion of you effect you at all in any way shape or form.  Taking things personally leads us to act in ways we truly don't normally act like or do things we don't normally do.  People can be and will be hateful but this does not mean that you have to react to it.  Let the assholes in your life go and ignore any comments or feelings towards them and them towards you.  Remember that there will be people who will sue you fo

This is the third blog on showing love.  I am uncertain as to why I am so interested in this subject but suspect it is because I was unable to get the love I wanted or ask for it and when I got together with someone I would ask and be denied.  I know that the reason that I was denied is because I selected men who were emotionally cut off and cut me off emotionally constantly.  It was for me a way for them to show me that I was less than I was and not enough, not ever enough.  I suplicate with others in my life to please not settle because I did so all the time and ended up unhappy and alone, less of a person and even wanting to die.  The pain of being with men who are not present is a killing force and it will not only burn you it will make you ill.  That is why it is so important to know what it means to be loved and receive things that mean love.  So few people are willing to show love and be love but for me I am forced now and today to face the reality that if I don't know what

I am surprised at the amount of people who lack the skills to show love to others and sometimes to themselves.  I am equally shocked at the people who say they are loving and their actions re not.  How do we truly love?  What does it mean to really show love to others? Here are my thoughts: Write a love letter/note/poem: This is such a romantic way to demonstrate love to another human being.  Take the time to write a card, letter, love note or poem.  It shows that you are genuinely thinking about the other person and it is complimentary and kind.  No one has to be a TS Elliott to write a short love letter or poem. Fill the tub up: Fill your partner's bath and you may even like to offer to wash their back or bathe them.  Show love in a way that is intimate and romantic by lighting a candle and suprising them with a hot bath after they get home from a long day at work. Say I love you: Share the very words that we all love to hear.  I love you.  Do so with sincerity of hear

Instead of making some resolutions I want to invite my readers to begin an evolution because life is about evolving and knowing that we already have the skills and wisdom we need inside of us if we are willing to do some work.   For me a resolution connotes that there is something wrong with us and that we need to fix it.  We are whole the way we are and the good news is that we don't need to be fixed, not at all in fact.  Every time we think of a new year's "resolution" we are shaming ourselves and making it seem like we need to get it together yet what God says is that we are "perfect the way we are".  I believe that whether God said it or not.  We are perfect that way we are and we don't need to be repaired and we really donn't need a resolution but rather an evolution to continue as scheduled.   One person I spoke to stated that he makes goals every year and then checks back at the end of the year to see if he accomplished them.  He admi

I was at a cocktail party at a friend's home who was a professor and is an author as well as an avid art collector.  He is well known for his masterful art and the masterful manner with which he displays it. Walking into his home is like going to the Dusable museum and the Art Institute rolled in one.  As luck would have it there were plenty of intellectual men invited and the conversation flowed from topic to topic: music, who was gay in the industry of music and acting, Oprah and Gale, Grace Jones and even Nicky Minaj.  Then we got to relationships and how sometimes couples become insecure when their partner or spouse is complimented or found attractive.  I shared my own story about Luz who was my  former wife and was complimented all the time in front of me.  I always felt proud and happy that others found her beautiful and it made me happy rather than jealous.  Then I realized that every male I'd been with was insecure and did not like my being in the light for any reason,

Love is the key.  The other day I was watching one of my Netflix spiritually based documentaries and in it over and over love it mentioned and for good reason.  Love is the key, truly the key to it all.  Love is the key to healing. Love is the key to peace, forgiveness, compassion, sharing and all that is good on this earth.  If we put love first we simply cannot go wrong.  Love heals us, love makes us a better human being.  Love gives us the compassion we need to heal ourselves and others.  Love has been the source of miracles and miraculous happenings. Love healed me from the pain that I felt when my sister committed suicide at the age of 22.  Love healed me when my great grandmother died.  Love healed me when my marriage ended 31 years ago.  Love healed me when I was let go of a job I spent nine years working hard at bccause someone else wanted my job.  Love healed me when I had to end a five year relatonship with a person who I felt did not love me.  Love healed me when I was ble

Believe : Believe you will heal.  That is the very first step to healing.  You must believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that you will heal.  Nothing is stronger than believing.  You cannot imagine the magical and strong influence faith has in the process of healing.  You just have to believe and it is that simple.  No matter what others say to you, believe you will heal.  Don't stop believing and you will see how your healing will begin.   Take Action/Decide the Action Steps:  Taking action is your second act of healing.  Doing everything that you can to make yourself healthy or whole whether it is emotional or spiritual or physical.  Whatever your illness is or your hurt is, you must decide what actions to take that are going to help you heal, collaborating with God to heal no matter what the situation.  Your action steps could be daily meditation or working out three days a week or seeing a therapist twice a month.  You must be a part of your healing, taking part in the

I got up this morning feeling empty and wanting to stay in bed.  I started to pray and then thank Spirit for all the beautiful parts of my life.  I kept praying the Our Father over and over as I got up and opened the curtains letting the light in.  Then I went to make the bed as usual.  Again I prayed another "Our Father".  I just kept it going because inside of me there was something dark that needed to be healed, likely the loneliness and the idea of abadonment and rejection, the perception I brought to myself.  I kept taking responsibility for my feelings and bringing that darkness into my life so early in the morning.  Instead of thinking about all the gifts in my life I thought about a person who iced our friendship and how badly that felt.  Things I have not control of and things that bring gloom to my soul instead of the loving thoughts like my granddaughters in the ice at the rink earlier this week and the  joy on their faces and mine. We choose to think what we thi

Some of my friends are asking me what my blog is about and that has prompted me to once again explain to my readers the purpose and intention of my blog.  If I had to name if it would be "Life Smart" because it is about life and all of its tribulations and situations.  It is a venue for me to share my life experiences in the hope that it will help others and it is a place where people can read about all types of life situations, sometimes getting ideaas or advise on how to handle what comes our way as humans having a spiritual experience.  I often share things about myself or others in order to provide clarity of heart for people who are hurting becasuee of one reason or another.  I don't write my blog on a specific topic other than just life. My favorite topics are often times threaded with spirituality.  I like to think that our spirit is a very important part of who we are and is our deepest self.  I like to think that our spiritual journey is our life journey and th

I am unsure as to how anyone would not notice but in case you have not, Spanish is the second language in the USA.  As you look around you may also note that the Spanish population is growing at a very fast rate and business owners who are Latino are popping up all over the US and abroad.  We are becoming the new normal and I say this tongue and cheek because there are those who are becoming uncomfortable with the idea that the Latino population: Puerto Ricans, Mexicans, Cubans, Equadorians, Argentinians and other Latino Cultures all who speak Spanish are growing and expanding.  So my suggestion to everyone esle is that you learn this prominent language that is being utilized often and the people are growing as a culture.  We are not going anywhere despite some people's need to eliminate us or deport us. I was born in Ohio, son of a father from Puerto Rico and mother with Spaniard roots.  I lived in Ohio until I was about 11 or sixth grade.  My experience with racism started on t

A long long time ago I read a book called "Necessary Losses".  It is about the fact that in life we will lose friends, people and situations and even material things.  It is about accepting the losses and inviting the new things, making room for more of what you need in truth.  In the documentary "I Am" the director in the film who was and still is very famous and rich had an epiphany and it happened after he had a bad head injury from falling off his bike.  He not only started a new life he sold everything he owned and moved into a new life that brought peace to his mind, body and soul.  He let go of mansions and expensive cars to live his truth, a more balanced and happy life. Life is about losses and we will loose some people and things in our life.  We cannot personalize it because it is just what life is about.  We cannot keep anything forever and almost nothing lasts forever.  The moment we accept that the better we will live our lives.  Knowing we are going

I don't like to think that anyone is void of emotion but there are many people who are close to being emotionally void.  It is, I sense, a learned behavior.  Living with people who are almost void of any emotion is one of the most painful situations anyone could ever experience.  The most difficult part is that the person who is emotionally void is unconscious of it, not a clue.  There is good reason for a person to be void of feelings and one reason is because it is too painful to be present.  Requiring this type A personality to have emotions is like asking them to face the truths in their life and that is not something they would like to do or feel comfortable doing.  It seems easier to ignore the feelings and the feelings of others than to face the feelings head on.  It is also easier to avoid the emotions if you are the type of person who does not want to take responsibility for them or your actions thereof. Amercans are known for their absence of emotion, usually starting w

Many of us are not aware of how much emotional poison we manifest for ourselves.  We don't know how easity we create it in our lives and how damaging it is.  Counteracting it is difficult but it can be done.  Nothing is impossible for us if we put our mind to it, especially eliminating poison and poisoness people and situations in our lives, freeing us to be a more joyful being and creating a new day where we can breathe better and feel more alive. We cannot take things personally and this is the first step to recovering from emotional poison.  We must also not carry the old stuff with us.  Somehow someway we have to get rid of it and throwing it away is our best bet.  Just throw it out like you would throw out garbage.  If it means shredding some pictures or burning some clothing then so be it.  If it will help you to get rid of the poison you know is everlasting and right there in your face and soul, do it!  Do not hesitate any longer.  Burn the picture of the person who hurt y

As Christmas is preparing to end, in fact in about thirty minutes in Chicago, many of us begin to ponder the thought of the new year and how to bring it in.  For some there must be a big party and for others it may be something they dread.  For many it is leading to a joyful day and for others it is leading to a day of pain and memories that are hurtful, like the death of a loved one.  We are all so different in the way we would like to bring the new year in and invite that New Year's Eve.  There are people getting split up and then there are those who are awaiting a baby to be born.  For some it is a reminder that there is no one waiting at home and they are still sadly single.  Whatever our situtation is there is no need to cry about spilt milk as they say.  Maybe we need to clean up our basement or dry our tears but either way there are some sure fire positive ways to bring in the New Year 2015. Plan a trip: Plan a trip to visit someone who is a friend and who may be spending

I have a lot of trouble ending relationships.  I stay in them for way to long and literally get so exhausted from it that I finally had to figure out a four step reasoning to end relationships that are not healthy.  There are four good reasons to end it and those are: You are giving much more than you get: When you are giving eighty percent and getting twenty percent that is  sure sign that you are spinning your wheels and that you need to end the relationship.  When you are constantly giving and not getting much back it is not an equitable situation and it needs to end.  Resentment will surely set in and in the end it is best to identify this shortage and move on. You are being indirectly or directly abused or bullied: When you are being abused in relationship it is time to call it quits whether it is subtle abuse or indirect verbal abuse or just bullying and manipulation.  The soft core abuser is the one that does not call you names but is always finding fault in you and pointi

Tonight I have bumped into Joyce Meyers because as God would have it she had some messages for me.  These are my interpretations of what she was saying to me and maybe to others tuned in.  I love Joyce because she is a real person in the manner that she shares God and shares the scriptures.  Here are some loving things I learned:  Get comfortable not knowing:  We don't need to know everything and be enlightened about everything.  Sometimes not knowing is a good thing.  You don't need to know it all or be a "know it all".  You may not know what to do right way and maybe not ever.  Sometimes you have to turn it over to the universe or to a power greater than yourself.  Don't be uncomfortable in the not knowing place.  Stay in the not knowing place. Stay Positive and Believe:  Keep a positive stance and believe that things are going to be great.  Think that something of good is going to happen.  Expect things of good in your life.  Believe that things are going

Yesterday I called an aquaintance who had sent me a card and in the card it felt like she was saying goodbye indirectly.  I called her because I like things to be completely clear and wanted to make sure I was reading it correctly.  She then stated that she felt uncomfortable when I would call because whe was still friendly with my soon to be X and his family.  To say that I was shocked would be an underestimation because all this time she was sharing how her connection with some of the members of the family was strained when they did something to her she did not favor.  In any case I deleted her numbers immediately after speaking to her and decided to move on.  I was shocked at her decision but I still felt like I wanted to honor it because in my heart I knew it was made out of fear.  She felt that she could no longer love me and still be involved with the family that connected us ten years ago.  She is also 95 years old and a person who is sharp as a tack but also at an age where I w

There is a new year's resolution and while there is nothing wrong with resolutions they often don't get met because we see it as a burden rather than something like evolving.  I would rather refer to it as holiday evolutions.  How will you evolve this year and as you go forward.  That is more important than thinking about it in the same way as always and making it about resolviing something which makes it seem like you are flawed and need to fix yourself when you really don't.  Evolving or a new year's evolution is about saying that we evolve and we evolve in ways that are positive and ongoing, not just for the new year but as we live our life.  How do I want to evolve should be a question rather than what is my resolution as if you were a problem needing to be fixed. My evolution this year will entail things like meditating more and giving myself more me time.  I would like to learn to sew better and to learn stand up comedy.  My evolution involves taking classes at

Have some goals and deadlines: Establish goals and deadlines.  Name them on a list: We will save a minimum 3000.00 dollars by: set date and time We commit to saving 100.00 minimum per month for our new beautiful home. We will reward ourselves each month if we meet our savings goal by doing things like: When you talk and write about your goals make them very measurable and give them a deadline or duration or say they are ongoing. I will save a minimum of 150.00 a month for twelve months and check at the end of the 12 months to ensure I meet/we met our goal. Post your goals on the vision board you created or nearby it.  This works for many other things like taking a trip to India or completing a house project. So there you have it.  All the ways to ensure you save that money and realize that dream home.  I would add that maybe you can think about whether the home should be one you will fix up to your liking or a move in ready home or a new home or a gutted home.  That is just as

Many of us want a home and the dream is one we share.  Owing our own home is an individual decsion while some might say renting is best for them and don't want the responsibilities that come with being a home owner.  While owniing is not for everyone and some of us are more inclined than others there are some good tips that I have seen out there that make a lot of sense. My new blogs have been about practical things of life and although I have been all over the map befoe I would like to offer up some basic advise for basic lift stuff.  Things we all worry about and things we all think about like buying a house or getting into or out of a realtionship. Todays topic is about preparing to own a home and how to go about saving as well as things pertinent to preparing for becoming a home owner if you feel ready. The main thing is to let go of the fear and allow yourself to visualize the possiblities by: Make a Vision Board:  Make a vision board with pictures of a home and the ite