What I Know
As the new year approaches I ponder what my new life will be like. It is one with disabilities and with limitations but not without love. There is pain and there are times when I wish it were all over yet somehow I get through it again and feel like I would rather live and learn. In a way the things that have happened to me have been a blessing. I would not wish others to learn this way but it is the way that God selected for me. Every day I see more light and learning from all of it. The good, the bad and the meanness of others. The lack of forgiveness and my own quest to forgive. Nothing would have made me imagaine this happening to me yet again I feel like I have learned so much from the experience and I know that justice will prevail.
In god's name I live my life and I continue to view things from the lense of healing. I know he will heal me and that even if I am not cured I will be healed. I will experience paradise because that is His promise to me, to all of us. I keep saying to others that the facts are so different from the truth and the faith that is inside me. Even the demons and the hateful people who wished me wrong will answer to God because there is a god and he has a plan for them as well. That plan is much like the way we know it to be. What you do here you pay for here on earth. No one gets away with anything and no one will live happily after stepping on someone who had already fallen. It is not our place to see to it that they pay their dues. They will pay them whether we want them to or not and whether we do anything to facilitate it or not. "Every dog has his day."
What I know is that when you know more you see more and when you see more you know better next time. I see it so vividly in my life and in the life of others who have lacked the compassion that is needed to justify their existance on this earth. How can we walk around a body that is bleeding? For some it's really simple and easy. It means that they save their soul first and then worry about everyone else later not realizing they are interconnected with everyone even the person they stepped over who was bleeding. The lack of love is what is creating this karma on this earth and the individual karma we create. Sad as it may seem the illness of another person does not phase most of us yet we are so connected that it is only a matter of time before we feel that same feeling of dishonor and hate and racism that we doled out. Sooner or later it comes back around.
I have made so many mistakes I cannot count them but one of them has never been kicking a person when they are down. It is appauling to me how easy that is for some. People who don't believe in God or Spirit or Buhdda or an inner knowing are absent of the feelings of love and compassion for those less fortunate than them. In fact the same people who walk across a bleeding body never volunteered a day in their life for any cause or any reason. In fact they believe that everything is oweed to them and that the less fortunate are just a bunch of "losers" or as one person put it using the N word. The rest of us are punks who are here to serve them. The sad part about this kind of thinking is that eventually we are placed in a position of having to pay to the piper and only then will we see how wrongly we have lived.
My quest is forgiveness. My quest is to forgive. My quest is not to forget because I simply don't want to be slammed down again to the ground and not be able to get up this time. I love people but I don't love some people's behavior. The winners and the loser thinkers. The competitive ones who find some thrill in winning a game of cards but no victorty in helping others and giving of their time and talents. My quest is to forgive but to ensure that I don't forget so that I can live my life away from people who just don't care about the state of the world and who are serving themselves left and right. The ones who are convineced that they are the judge and jury of others. The ones who don't have enough love for themselves never mind others.
As my good friend would say it : "bless their hearts". I say it all the time. Bless their hearts. Amen.
In god's name I live my life and I continue to view things from the lense of healing. I know he will heal me and that even if I am not cured I will be healed. I will experience paradise because that is His promise to me, to all of us. I keep saying to others that the facts are so different from the truth and the faith that is inside me. Even the demons and the hateful people who wished me wrong will answer to God because there is a god and he has a plan for them as well. That plan is much like the way we know it to be. What you do here you pay for here on earth. No one gets away with anything and no one will live happily after stepping on someone who had already fallen. It is not our place to see to it that they pay their dues. They will pay them whether we want them to or not and whether we do anything to facilitate it or not. "Every dog has his day."
What I know is that when you know more you see more and when you see more you know better next time. I see it so vividly in my life and in the life of others who have lacked the compassion that is needed to justify their existance on this earth. How can we walk around a body that is bleeding? For some it's really simple and easy. It means that they save their soul first and then worry about everyone else later not realizing they are interconnected with everyone even the person they stepped over who was bleeding. The lack of love is what is creating this karma on this earth and the individual karma we create. Sad as it may seem the illness of another person does not phase most of us yet we are so connected that it is only a matter of time before we feel that same feeling of dishonor and hate and racism that we doled out. Sooner or later it comes back around.
I have made so many mistakes I cannot count them but one of them has never been kicking a person when they are down. It is appauling to me how easy that is for some. People who don't believe in God or Spirit or Buhdda or an inner knowing are absent of the feelings of love and compassion for those less fortunate than them. In fact the same people who walk across a bleeding body never volunteered a day in their life for any cause or any reason. In fact they believe that everything is oweed to them and that the less fortunate are just a bunch of "losers" or as one person put it using the N word. The rest of us are punks who are here to serve them. The sad part about this kind of thinking is that eventually we are placed in a position of having to pay to the piper and only then will we see how wrongly we have lived.
My quest is forgiveness. My quest is to forgive. My quest is not to forget because I simply don't want to be slammed down again to the ground and not be able to get up this time. I love people but I don't love some people's behavior. The winners and the loser thinkers. The competitive ones who find some thrill in winning a game of cards but no victorty in helping others and giving of their time and talents. My quest is to forgive but to ensure that I don't forget so that I can live my life away from people who just don't care about the state of the world and who are serving themselves left and right. The ones who are convineced that they are the judge and jury of others. The ones who don't have enough love for themselves never mind others.
As my good friend would say it : "bless their hearts". I say it all the time. Bless their hearts. Amen.
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