Is Love An Illusion
Perhaps because I have only been in love once I should not have an opinion about love. Still I see love so many times as some illusion, some stuff people make up, even in bad situations. We often times make love into something that fits in our own imagination as love and if it is not really love we make it seem like it it by lying about it and fantasizing about what it is not. Love is often an illusion and for some so elusive that it is a serious problem.
The woman whose husband bullies her and says sarcastic things about her wants to believe that her husband loves her and that he is just not well, poor thing. She makes excuses for him and for his bad behavior. There are many people in what is an illusion of a partnership when in fact they are not in one. On the contrary they are in peril. They believe they will somehow resolve the issues that will always be present in their relationship and the truth is that it is not going to get any better. It remains an illusion of what they would like it to be.
Alex lived ten years with a woman he did not like. She was bossy and rude and her family was much like her. Alex always felt inadequate and stupid because that was the goal for his wife and her family, to make him feel like he was lucky to be in her family circle, people who were crude and abusive bullies. After many years of tolerating her he finally ended the marriage when he met a woman at work who became his friend and asked him to take a look at the illusion that he had of marriage and that his wife was disrespectful and he deserved better. Although it was not intentional Alex and his new friend would go out after work as friends but soon he felt like he was with a woman who cared about what he said and who he was. As sometimes happens Alex ended up with the woman who he truly liked and enjoyed. Soon he discovered that her family embraced and loved him, respecting him as well. It broke Alex out of the illusion of love.
There can be more than an illusion in love even if we have experienced the contrary more often than not. The reality is that love is not just love, it is respect, common interests and respect. It is a compromise at all times and it is about being embraced by the person's family you select. It is about your partner watching your back and about being fearless. It may be unusual to have a love that is real and concrete but it does exist. It is only for the strong at heart.
The woman whose husband bullies her and says sarcastic things about her wants to believe that her husband loves her and that he is just not well, poor thing. She makes excuses for him and for his bad behavior. There are many people in what is an illusion of a partnership when in fact they are not in one. On the contrary they are in peril. They believe they will somehow resolve the issues that will always be present in their relationship and the truth is that it is not going to get any better. It remains an illusion of what they would like it to be.
Alex lived ten years with a woman he did not like. She was bossy and rude and her family was much like her. Alex always felt inadequate and stupid because that was the goal for his wife and her family, to make him feel like he was lucky to be in her family circle, people who were crude and abusive bullies. After many years of tolerating her he finally ended the marriage when he met a woman at work who became his friend and asked him to take a look at the illusion that he had of marriage and that his wife was disrespectful and he deserved better. Although it was not intentional Alex and his new friend would go out after work as friends but soon he felt like he was with a woman who cared about what he said and who he was. As sometimes happens Alex ended up with the woman who he truly liked and enjoyed. Soon he discovered that her family embraced and loved him, respecting him as well. It broke Alex out of the illusion of love.
There can be more than an illusion in love even if we have experienced the contrary more often than not. The reality is that love is not just love, it is respect, common interests and respect. It is a compromise at all times and it is about being embraced by the person's family you select. It is about your partner watching your back and about being fearless. It may be unusual to have a love that is real and concrete but it does exist. It is only for the strong at heart.
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