Five Good Reasons to Get Divorced Or Not
My first divorce to my former wife and now friend was a walk in the park compared to most divorces. Since most of you know I am getting divorced for again I will simply say that this one is a walk on hot coal in the depths of hell. It's not just bad it's ridiculous and on top of it my former partner just inherited a ton of money. In the meantime he is trying to take me to the cleaners by asking for the cake plate with the lid that my former wife bought me! It is absolutely hilarious because frankly if I don't laugh I would want to slap him and his mommy dearest. Never would I give either one the time of day.
Don't wait too long:
Divorce can be very ugly but the longer you wait the worse it will be and the older you will get. It is true that relationship has a shelf life and you don't want to be too old to be completely out of the market. If by the time you get divorced you are sick and mangled and need a face lift you might as will stay with the ugly man you have now.
BE honest:
We know very early on that it is time to let go and walk on. Be honest you knew a long time ago that the man or woman you married was not your type. You don't even like him or her! Being brutally honest about your relationship will save you a lot of time and money. Before you have kids, before you are stuck for ten years, before it becomes financially entangled and your doing your taxes jointly. Don't wait until you freaking need a face lift. No, getting in a relationship is not ageless. No it's not the same in your sixties as in our fifties. Well, unless you look like me.
Love is not enough:
I got this one from the person I was married to. I should of listened. Love is not enough. If you don't have enough in common love is not going to keep you together like the song said in the seventies. Love will not keep you together forever, forever and ever. We think that because we love someone that is all that matters when in fact we can love a person we don't even like. They may not like us either. In fact I did not care for the person I was with for ten years. In fact he was one of the most boring people I'd ever met and so was almost everyone in his family. It was to put it nicely, painful. Love is not enough and even if you love someone does not mean they are the one for you. Look past the lalala and see the reality of the person you are with. He does not dance, he is not funny and his penis is small.
Me, me , me:
We will know very soon that someone we are with is selfish when you invite them somewhere and they say "I am just not into that". This is a me person. When the response is no I don't like doing that happens about ten times, it is time to walk, especially when it is an array of different things. A me person is selfish and cheap and you will know that soon. Don't ignore it. A good reason to get divorced is when we figure out that the person we are with is more interested in themselves than in us and what we need. They do exactly and only what they like to do and expect you to do what they like to do. Pack your Gucci bag and leave while the going is good and you can find someone who will dance with you.
Carla was married to an anglo male. She is Spanish and not only is she Spanish she speaks it fluently. She loves dancing, especially Spanish dancing. During the fifteen years she was married her husband did not learn one sentence in Spanish and never offered to dance with her or learn to dance. Once or twice after she mentioned it he asked her to teach him Spanish but of course that was short lived. Not only did he not speak a word of Spanish he criticized her culture by coaching it in jokes. It is interesting to me how men marry women who are of color and then have the nerve to not just not learn anything about her culture. I think if the shoe were on the other foot he would expect her to learn Spanish if not just to speak to the members of his family who were not bilingual or did not speak English. To say it nicely that relationship ended poorly. When someone you are married to is not willing to get out of their boring little box it's time to jump ship.
There it is. What you do with this information is up to you. Just don't waste too much time loving someone who does not care about you or who you would not be friends of yours. Don't wait so long when you know the signs are there and have been for a long time. Don't wait till you need a face lift and a tummy tuck to get out. Remember that whatever happens being alone is better than being with the wrong person.
Don't wait too long:
Divorce can be very ugly but the longer you wait the worse it will be and the older you will get. It is true that relationship has a shelf life and you don't want to be too old to be completely out of the market. If by the time you get divorced you are sick and mangled and need a face lift you might as will stay with the ugly man you have now.
BE honest:
We know very early on that it is time to let go and walk on. Be honest you knew a long time ago that the man or woman you married was not your type. You don't even like him or her! Being brutally honest about your relationship will save you a lot of time and money. Before you have kids, before you are stuck for ten years, before it becomes financially entangled and your doing your taxes jointly. Don't wait until you freaking need a face lift. No, getting in a relationship is not ageless. No it's not the same in your sixties as in our fifties. Well, unless you look like me.
Love is not enough:
I got this one from the person I was married to. I should of listened. Love is not enough. If you don't have enough in common love is not going to keep you together like the song said in the seventies. Love will not keep you together forever, forever and ever. We think that because we love someone that is all that matters when in fact we can love a person we don't even like. They may not like us either. In fact I did not care for the person I was with for ten years. In fact he was one of the most boring people I'd ever met and so was almost everyone in his family. It was to put it nicely, painful. Love is not enough and even if you love someone does not mean they are the one for you. Look past the lalala and see the reality of the person you are with. He does not dance, he is not funny and his penis is small.
Me, me , me:
We will know very soon that someone we are with is selfish when you invite them somewhere and they say "I am just not into that". This is a me person. When the response is no I don't like doing that happens about ten times, it is time to walk, especially when it is an array of different things. A me person is selfish and cheap and you will know that soon. Don't ignore it. A good reason to get divorced is when we figure out that the person we are with is more interested in themselves than in us and what we need. They do exactly and only what they like to do and expect you to do what they like to do. Pack your Gucci bag and leave while the going is good and you can find someone who will dance with you.
Carla was married to an anglo male. She is Spanish and not only is she Spanish she speaks it fluently. She loves dancing, especially Spanish dancing. During the fifteen years she was married her husband did not learn one sentence in Spanish and never offered to dance with her or learn to dance. Once or twice after she mentioned it he asked her to teach him Spanish but of course that was short lived. Not only did he not speak a word of Spanish he criticized her culture by coaching it in jokes. It is interesting to me how men marry women who are of color and then have the nerve to not just not learn anything about her culture. I think if the shoe were on the other foot he would expect her to learn Spanish if not just to speak to the members of his family who were not bilingual or did not speak English. To say it nicely that relationship ended poorly. When someone you are married to is not willing to get out of their boring little box it's time to jump ship.
There it is. What you do with this information is up to you. Just don't waste too much time loving someone who does not care about you or who you would not be friends of yours. Don't wait so long when you know the signs are there and have been for a long time. Don't wait till you need a face lift and a tummy tuck to get out. Remember that whatever happens being alone is better than being with the wrong person.
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