How To Fight Back
There are so many people in the world who are rude, inconsiderate, condescending and overtly abusive. Some of us have a hard time figuring out how to respond to people who do not treat us well and people who displace their anger on us. How do we fight back or more importantly how do we respond? In what ways can we fight back?
For years I was insulted indirectly by people who were bigots. The most difficult part of it was that they were related to someone who I knew. It was hard for me because the person that professed to be my friend allowed all of it. Not only did he allow it, he denied it and made me feel like I was the one who had a problem. In the meantime all types of bigoted comments were made around me and I felt like I could not stand up for myself. In fact there were many comments that were truly rude and when I did say something about it I was insulted in an email by one of the family members who was the most toxic, judgemental and rude of the group. Today I wish I had stood up from the beginning and even ended my connection with the person sooner. To this day I am still healing from that horrible treatment of me and my inability or fear of saying anything to fight back for my spirit.
I feel that everyone should know how to fight back and what the options are, especially because not fighting back is going to allow things to fester and penetrate us. This of course is not healthy for the person being insulted and bullied by people who are basically ignorant. Here are some ways to fight back and protect your heart and your spirit:
Address the issue early on. Don't wait or laugh at anything that people say to you that is underlying rude or bigoted. Stand up for yourself immediately and stop it right away. Enduring those insults for long periods of time is very harmful to your spirit and your emotional health. As many would recommend put it into I statements like: "I feel hurt when you joke about my race and it feels uncomfortable for me to listen to others refer to Blacks with the N word". Bringing it up protects your health, is in your own good and stops it before it gets out of hand. People who are unthinking and hurtful are intentional but the one thing we know is that they are also usually people who feel inferior and insecure. They do what they do because they feel poorly about themselves and they believe that by putting others down they will feel better about themselves.
If letting people know you are not OK with their crude, rude or bigoted behaviors stop exposing yourself to them. No matter who they are related to: your spouse, your best friend, your boyfriend or girlfriend stop being around them. Let the person you love know that you will not be exposed to the bad behavior and that it is not acceptable. Treat your friend or spouse in the same manner as if nothing had happened. Don't allow his or her people to effect your relationship with him or her. This is especially crucial if the friend or partner is in denial about their family members behavior. In the long run just protect your own spirit.
When we fight back we are doing so in a way that aligns itself with God's energy. Fighting back does not mean we have to be like the people who hurt us. Our own center and our own spirit requires only that we get out of the way once we say what we need to say about how we would like to be treated. If it does not work we have no other alternative but to keep walking, keep living and be around people who are loving and treat us well. If you are not being treated well and respected by people who are attached to someone you love you do not have to participate but rather eliminate yourself from the equation, early, very early in the game.
What are your thoughts? Coach Elliott
For years I was insulted indirectly by people who were bigots. The most difficult part of it was that they were related to someone who I knew. It was hard for me because the person that professed to be my friend allowed all of it. Not only did he allow it, he denied it and made me feel like I was the one who had a problem. In the meantime all types of bigoted comments were made around me and I felt like I could not stand up for myself. In fact there were many comments that were truly rude and when I did say something about it I was insulted in an email by one of the family members who was the most toxic, judgemental and rude of the group. Today I wish I had stood up from the beginning and even ended my connection with the person sooner. To this day I am still healing from that horrible treatment of me and my inability or fear of saying anything to fight back for my spirit.
I feel that everyone should know how to fight back and what the options are, especially because not fighting back is going to allow things to fester and penetrate us. This of course is not healthy for the person being insulted and bullied by people who are basically ignorant. Here are some ways to fight back and protect your heart and your spirit:
Address the issue early on. Don't wait or laugh at anything that people say to you that is underlying rude or bigoted. Stand up for yourself immediately and stop it right away. Enduring those insults for long periods of time is very harmful to your spirit and your emotional health. As many would recommend put it into I statements like: "I feel hurt when you joke about my race and it feels uncomfortable for me to listen to others refer to Blacks with the N word". Bringing it up protects your health, is in your own good and stops it before it gets out of hand. People who are unthinking and hurtful are intentional but the one thing we know is that they are also usually people who feel inferior and insecure. They do what they do because they feel poorly about themselves and they believe that by putting others down they will feel better about themselves.
If letting people know you are not OK with their crude, rude or bigoted behaviors stop exposing yourself to them. No matter who they are related to: your spouse, your best friend, your boyfriend or girlfriend stop being around them. Let the person you love know that you will not be exposed to the bad behavior and that it is not acceptable. Treat your friend or spouse in the same manner as if nothing had happened. Don't allow his or her people to effect your relationship with him or her. This is especially crucial if the friend or partner is in denial about their family members behavior. In the long run just protect your own spirit.
When we fight back we are doing so in a way that aligns itself with God's energy. Fighting back does not mean we have to be like the people who hurt us. Our own center and our own spirit requires only that we get out of the way once we say what we need to say about how we would like to be treated. If it does not work we have no other alternative but to keep walking, keep living and be around people who are loving and treat us well. If you are not being treated well and respected by people who are attached to someone you love you do not have to participate but rather eliminate yourself from the equation, early, very early in the game.
What are your thoughts? Coach Elliott
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