Only Time We Fail at Love

"The only time I've failed at Love is when I have failed to Love myself."  Elliott Collazo 

This morning as is often the case I get up wondering what is next for me.  I have an upper respiratory infection, I feel a bit down trodden and my heart feels heavy.  It is not until I am up and about for a little while, open the blinds and look at the landscape behind my home which is now sold and I am mourning the loss of.  Every day feels like work and yet every day is work and this is what I share with others.  Life does not just happen to us.  We must be a part of the process bad or good.  At times we all would love to have someone love us to that place of joy where we want to be every moment but being with someone just takes the focus off the fact that failing at love really is failing yourself.  No one can make you happy and not a soul out there is actually willing to take on that huge and crazy responsibility.  In fact most run from it because the truth is they are struggling with their own stuff.  It would not be fair to expect anyone to rise you above to the level of love that is needed for you to feel happy.  

The only time I have failed at love is when I have failed to love myself.  When I allowed someone else to define me and go so far as to neglect me when I was very ill.  The only time I have failed at love is when I have loved others more than myself and gave them first place in my life.  The only time that I failed at loving me was when I was in such unconscious states that I forgot to love Elliott.  Yet the whole time I was reminded again and again that I placed my own worth on someone else.  I could only love Elliott if I thought someone loved him.  When no one was there anymore for me to pretend to love me I was completely lost and would start a spiral downward in my life, becoming very critical of myself and disliking the person who wronged me or left me.  Not any more!  Today is my new life.  Today I love myself because failing at love really means I fail myself and only myself.  

Do you love you?  Do you really love yourself?  Be courageous and sit with yourself or go to a remote place alone and see what comes forward.  Is is self-love?  Is it love that you have become addicted to coming from a source or person?  Are you only happy if someone is there or you have all the pretty dresses you want?  Are you validated by sex and someone being attracted to you or can you sit alone and think that the love for yourself is the best love ever!  

I can love you but do you love yourself?  

Elliott Maximo Collazo 


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