Should You End It?
So muny times we are in this situation of deciding whether to stay or not stay in a relationship? Should we go or should we stay? There are some key questions that we must ask before we jump into ending the relationship.
Here are some of them:
1. Am I over-reacting to the behavior on the part of my partner?
2. Is this really about me and something I need to change in myself?
3. Am I not being felxible enough in this relationship?
4. Is there something I could be doing differently and better?
5. Do I tend to give up easily in relaitonship?
6. Will I take who I am in this relationship, take it with me and create another one just like it?
7. Have I been honest and asked for what I need?
8. What is the trigger or triggers in my relaitonship with this person? Is it from the past?
9. Am I being unreasonable and selfish, not giving in when I should?
10. Will I really be happier without this person in my life? Can I just live with his or her personality traists and continue to stay?
11. Do we need a person to intervene: a counselor, a therapist, a pastor or life coach?
12. Am I repeating the same situation with another man or woman?
One you respond to each question measure what you have found out about yourslef that needs to be looked at or altered just a little. If you find out that you are behaving the same as you have in the past and repeating the same behaviors it may be a sign to work on yourself right now. If you need someone to intervene talk to your partner about it and get the help or mentoring you need. Uncover the triggers and do your best to acknowledge those triggers so that you don't fall for the same pattern. If you are unreasonable consider working on yourself. Being clear abou your own behaviors and how your partner feels about them is important and one essential element of improving your loving relationship. One of the most common things we do in relationship is to over-react. We take a small situation and turn it into something much too important and large. Our partner turns their face and looks at a handsome man and we immediately react with jealousy. It could very well be that this man had a red shirt on that caught her attention or she noticed he had nice shoes on. Looking at someone else does not mean anything most of the time. If you are reacting to these types of simple things then it may be that you are over-reacting to things that are not important nor will they ruin your relationship. Over-reacting will.
When you are having issues in your relationship one of the very last things should be that you are going to leave, once you have attempted to mend yourself and to openly discuss the issues. Today many people will leave a good person who was likely a great match for them when in fact it is just them over-reacting or becoming jealous. Look directly at yourself first instead of focusing on the other person. Give yourself a chance to heal from whatever it is that makes you feel so poorly so often. It may be true that one does not belong with a person and that these relationships must end and for good reason. This is not about those times but rather about looking more closely at yourself and what is going on that can be mended. By responding to these basic questions you find out if you really are the person who needs to change or that it is your perception that needs to be looked at closer.
Here are some of them:
1. Am I over-reacting to the behavior on the part of my partner?
2. Is this really about me and something I need to change in myself?
3. Am I not being felxible enough in this relationship?
4. Is there something I could be doing differently and better?
5. Do I tend to give up easily in relaitonship?
6. Will I take who I am in this relationship, take it with me and create another one just like it?
7. Have I been honest and asked for what I need?
8. What is the trigger or triggers in my relaitonship with this person? Is it from the past?
9. Am I being unreasonable and selfish, not giving in when I should?
10. Will I really be happier without this person in my life? Can I just live with his or her personality traists and continue to stay?
11. Do we need a person to intervene: a counselor, a therapist, a pastor or life coach?
12. Am I repeating the same situation with another man or woman?
One you respond to each question measure what you have found out about yourslef that needs to be looked at or altered just a little. If you find out that you are behaving the same as you have in the past and repeating the same behaviors it may be a sign to work on yourself right now. If you need someone to intervene talk to your partner about it and get the help or mentoring you need. Uncover the triggers and do your best to acknowledge those triggers so that you don't fall for the same pattern. If you are unreasonable consider working on yourself. Being clear abou your own behaviors and how your partner feels about them is important and one essential element of improving your loving relationship. One of the most common things we do in relationship is to over-react. We take a small situation and turn it into something much too important and large. Our partner turns their face and looks at a handsome man and we immediately react with jealousy. It could very well be that this man had a red shirt on that caught her attention or she noticed he had nice shoes on. Looking at someone else does not mean anything most of the time. If you are reacting to these types of simple things then it may be that you are over-reacting to things that are not important nor will they ruin your relationship. Over-reacting will.
When you are having issues in your relationship one of the very last things should be that you are going to leave, once you have attempted to mend yourself and to openly discuss the issues. Today many people will leave a good person who was likely a great match for them when in fact it is just them over-reacting or becoming jealous. Look directly at yourself first instead of focusing on the other person. Give yourself a chance to heal from whatever it is that makes you feel so poorly so often. It may be true that one does not belong with a person and that these relationships must end and for good reason. This is not about those times but rather about looking more closely at yourself and what is going on that can be mended. By responding to these basic questions you find out if you really are the person who needs to change or that it is your perception that needs to be looked at closer.
Comments
Post a Comment