How We Know It''s Love

Often we hear from others and in the media that we will know love when it hits us.  We will just know naturally.  This seems like a logical observation about love yet many seasoned individuals know that it is truly not that simple and that we often times mistake love for lust or love for infatuation.  My own personal experience with love is limited to two long term relationships, one with a woman and one with a male.  Both relationships lasted a little over ten years.

Over time I learned some basic signs of real love and here they are for others to decide upon:

1.  The person who we feel love  protects us from emotional or physical harm. 

When you get married to someone you marry their family and close friends.  This is why it is so imperative that the person you love protects you emotionally and physically.  No one in his or her camp should treat you poorly or attempt to harm you in any way.  It is your partner's responsibility to see to it that you are never insulted, degraded or hurt by anyone in their family or circle of friends.

2.  We receive loving thoughts and acts spontaneously from the person who loves us. 

Someone who loves you is going to do things that are kind at any time, not just on holidays or birthdays.  He or she will write lovely notes to you and loving thoughts on cards without any particular reason.  He or she makes certain to remind you of how much they think of you and love you.  A person who loves you demonstrate it on an ongoing basis.

3.  We like the person who we love and would select them as a friend. 

I cannot say how many times I have heard people say that they would not be their husband or wife's friend.  If the person you love is not a person you would have selected as a friend this is a sure sign of something being missing in the relationship.  Many people say they love their partner but they dislike them and their behavior.  In a word they would not pick their partner as a friend.  As sad as this may sound it is true of many people who are married to someone, that someone being a person they don't like.

4.  We feel lifted by the person who we love and loves us, often. 

Of course I have heard many stories about how degraded someone feels at the hands of the person who professes to love them when in fact someone who you love and loves you will lift you up, often times sharing how highly they think of you.  You are lifted by this person who loves you and this person makes you feel very special.  They say it and they demonstrate this to you often, as frequently as possible.

5.  The person who loves us is loyal and honest with us always.  

A loved one is honest with us and is honest in a kind and compassionate manner.  They are also loyal and often times manogomous.  The do not lie to you and in fact tell the truth regardless of the situation or circumstances.  They defend you against others who may attack you emotionlly and especially against any family member who gossips about you or attempts to degrade you.  Most of all he or she is honest with you all the time, every time.  He or she is a person you can trust because you know he or she "has your back".  When a loved one caves in because their mother or cousin does not like you or has poor feelings towards you it is a sign that this relationship you are in will eventually come to an end.  Someone who does not defend you and protect you is not a person you want to remain in a relationship with.

Love is not an easy experience but knowing the signs of love will help us to avoid long and drawn out situations that do not honor us.  Loving someone who does not love you is a fatal act of life.  At times so fatal that one can either get severely ill or die.  It seems unbelievable that loving someone can end fatally yet there has been many who have uncovered that love can be unkind and relationships are not all worth your time.