Chasing Self-Love Relentlessly
I recently received a thank you note from my daughter for having bought my grand kids personalized jars of candy with their picture on the label. I had purchased them at a gourmet candy store at the Woodfield Mall in Shaumburg' Illinois not to far from where I live. In her note she shared these words "chase love relentlessly". It made me think about love and how difficult it has been for me to love myself and take the love I gave, taking some of it back for me. It has been a journey I have been on for over a year and what I have experienced is slow and difficult process to loving myself.
We are not accustomed to loving ourselves. What we are use to is loving others and basically making ourselves last in line. We love our spouse, love our children, love our parents, love our friends and what is left over is likely not much for us to live on. We simply don't see that we need love as much as the people we give it to if not more. It finally comes to our attention when we are alone in a room not able to sleep because we feel like something is not quite right in our life. That something is the fact that we have missed giving ourselves the love we need for much too long. What is it that we need to do to relentlessly find love? Here are some ideas:
1. Determine what you need and proceed to obtain it.
2. Take the focus off everyone else for a time, until you find your own center of love. Let others know your changing directions.
3. Do one thing every day that demonstrates to you that you are a priority now.
4. Stick to your plan for at least ninety days by continuing to make yourself a priority on an ongoing basis.
When you decide what you need by sitting down and thinking on it begin a plan of action to obtain it. It does not matter what it is you need but rather making certain to get it. Even if you cannot get everything you need begin where you can and where it is possible for you. There are many things you may decide you need: some time off of work, a vacation with friends, a birthday party, a new suit or whatever you believe is showing your inner self how much you care about that person: You. Take the time to write down your responses and think about it. Once you know what you need get started obtaining it.
Tell everyone in your life that it is time for you to focus on yourself and that this is your intention. Tell others to allow you some space. Let your loved ones know that you will be taking the time to feed yourself those things you need and do those things that will help you get back to your center of love. Admit that you have not been doing enough for yourself and that the reason you have not is because you chose to be focused on others. Let them know you love them and that this action does not mean you love them less. Then begin to focus on yourself by doing things for yourself.
By doing one thing a day that is for you only you are honoring your inner child. That little boy or girl has been yearning to be nurtured and gifted in ways that have been a long time coming. Make yourself the priority for at least a couple of hours a day doing one thing that is just for you and no one else. Get use to doing something for yourself. Make yourself important enough to give yourself the love and attention you need. One loving thing a day, just one.
Change usually requires that we practice something consistently for about ninety days. It is very important to understand that this is exactly why there are ninety day programs for addicts because the research shows that this is how long one needs to begin to live a new life and heal from ones' addiction. We are addicted to loving others. We are addicted to making others first. We are addicted to the feeling that someone else is more important. All this to mean that we need to shift from that long practiced addiction to focus everywhere else except on ourselves. Don't give up! Make yourself first for at least three months if at all possible. This does not mean that you ignore your young children for example but that you are getting the support you need to care for them and care for yourself at the same time. Loving you does not mean you stop loving others but that you are focusing on caring for yourself so that you are much more capable of caring for others.
If you have any ideas or comments on this subject please scroll down to the bottom and click on the words "no comments", put your comments in the box and then click "publish". I would love to hear what you think on this subject and share it with others.
We are not accustomed to loving ourselves. What we are use to is loving others and basically making ourselves last in line. We love our spouse, love our children, love our parents, love our friends and what is left over is likely not much for us to live on. We simply don't see that we need love as much as the people we give it to if not more. It finally comes to our attention when we are alone in a room not able to sleep because we feel like something is not quite right in our life. That something is the fact that we have missed giving ourselves the love we need for much too long. What is it that we need to do to relentlessly find love? Here are some ideas:
1. Determine what you need and proceed to obtain it.
2. Take the focus off everyone else for a time, until you find your own center of love. Let others know your changing directions.
3. Do one thing every day that demonstrates to you that you are a priority now.
4. Stick to your plan for at least ninety days by continuing to make yourself a priority on an ongoing basis.
When you decide what you need by sitting down and thinking on it begin a plan of action to obtain it. It does not matter what it is you need but rather making certain to get it. Even if you cannot get everything you need begin where you can and where it is possible for you. There are many things you may decide you need: some time off of work, a vacation with friends, a birthday party, a new suit or whatever you believe is showing your inner self how much you care about that person: You. Take the time to write down your responses and think about it. Once you know what you need get started obtaining it.
Tell everyone in your life that it is time for you to focus on yourself and that this is your intention. Tell others to allow you some space. Let your loved ones know that you will be taking the time to feed yourself those things you need and do those things that will help you get back to your center of love. Admit that you have not been doing enough for yourself and that the reason you have not is because you chose to be focused on others. Let them know you love them and that this action does not mean you love them less. Then begin to focus on yourself by doing things for yourself.
By doing one thing a day that is for you only you are honoring your inner child. That little boy or girl has been yearning to be nurtured and gifted in ways that have been a long time coming. Make yourself the priority for at least a couple of hours a day doing one thing that is just for you and no one else. Get use to doing something for yourself. Make yourself important enough to give yourself the love and attention you need. One loving thing a day, just one.
Change usually requires that we practice something consistently for about ninety days. It is very important to understand that this is exactly why there are ninety day programs for addicts because the research shows that this is how long one needs to begin to live a new life and heal from ones' addiction. We are addicted to loving others. We are addicted to making others first. We are addicted to the feeling that someone else is more important. All this to mean that we need to shift from that long practiced addiction to focus everywhere else except on ourselves. Don't give up! Make yourself first for at least three months if at all possible. This does not mean that you ignore your young children for example but that you are getting the support you need to care for them and care for yourself at the same time. Loving you does not mean you stop loving others but that you are focusing on caring for yourself so that you are much more capable of caring for others.
If you have any ideas or comments on this subject please scroll down to the bottom and click on the words "no comments", put your comments in the box and then click "publish". I would love to hear what you think on this subject and share it with others.
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