When Someone Gets You They...
I was chatting with a friend on the phone yesterday and he shared something I have heard from others, he stated: "People I have been with did not get me". When I asked him to elaborate about what that meant to him he said:
Someone who can finish my sentences because they take the time to sense what I am leading to.
Someone who cares about my feelings and beliefs.
Someone who takes that time to know me more in depth.
Someone who is responsive to my needs without me having to tell him all the time.
There seems to be a theme around someone else getting us. I believe that what this really mean is someone who understands and embraces you for who you are. Someone who takes the time to hear you and get what you are saying as important and valuable. Someone who "gets you" does not need a lot of explanation about how you feel. A person who gets us needs little explanation and we are able to meet their needs with ease and grace. There is not a pulling factor in a relationship where you get each other. Getting someone requires that you: Understand them, know their likes and dislikes, you respect them, you see them, you acknowledge them and most of all you hear them and you let that person know so.
To expect someone else to "get you" is to ask to be understood. It is so simple a notion in relationship but most times not easily achieved. We are too busy finding things wrong with others to embrace them, understand them and get where they stand and who they are. We are too busy skipping to the physical parts to see the person inside. Some of us do not get to know someone until it feels like a surprise that the person likes chocolate or is a vegetarian. We fail at getting to know the very person we say "I love you" to. It seems we skip the most essential part which only takes a little bit of listening skills. I call them life skills.
Some of us are life smart and then some of us are "life dumb". I coined that phrase because I have met so many people who are life dumb. They refuse to take the time to know you and jump to conclusions without asking. They don't sense what you are feeling or are bad listeners. Life dumb people do not get you but rather avoid intimacy and end up taking more than they give because whereas they do not take time to know you they want you to get to know them. When someone gets you there is a simple equation which is that you take the time to get to know them as well.
As life would have it we are a society of people who can pass right by one another or be touching on an overcrowded elevator and not so much as say hello or nod. This is a result of being more comfortable being insular than being human. Life smart people acknowledge a waiter that serves them meals. Life smart people understand the struggle of others in pain. Life smart people care about the state of the world and know how to make a bed and wash dishes. No book in the world on any subject will make us life smart. In fact lost of educated people in the world with degrees cannot fold laundry correctly or know what to say when toasting at their best friend's wedding. When someone gets it they do and when they do not then they just do not. We cannot make life dumb people into life smart ones when they are sure they are just great the way they are.
Listen closely: If you love someone or care about someone make certain that you are doing everything to connect to them, get to know them and "get them". Expect love back when you give it and give it without regulations or conditions. When you get someone you love them and they understand that you love them and take the time to know them.
Someone who can finish my sentences because they take the time to sense what I am leading to.
Someone who cares about my feelings and beliefs.
Someone who takes that time to know me more in depth.
Someone who is responsive to my needs without me having to tell him all the time.
There seems to be a theme around someone else getting us. I believe that what this really mean is someone who understands and embraces you for who you are. Someone who takes the time to hear you and get what you are saying as important and valuable. Someone who "gets you" does not need a lot of explanation about how you feel. A person who gets us needs little explanation and we are able to meet their needs with ease and grace. There is not a pulling factor in a relationship where you get each other. Getting someone requires that you: Understand them, know their likes and dislikes, you respect them, you see them, you acknowledge them and most of all you hear them and you let that person know so.
To expect someone else to "get you" is to ask to be understood. It is so simple a notion in relationship but most times not easily achieved. We are too busy finding things wrong with others to embrace them, understand them and get where they stand and who they are. We are too busy skipping to the physical parts to see the person inside. Some of us do not get to know someone until it feels like a surprise that the person likes chocolate or is a vegetarian. We fail at getting to know the very person we say "I love you" to. It seems we skip the most essential part which only takes a little bit of listening skills. I call them life skills.
Some of us are life smart and then some of us are "life dumb". I coined that phrase because I have met so many people who are life dumb. They refuse to take the time to know you and jump to conclusions without asking. They don't sense what you are feeling or are bad listeners. Life dumb people do not get you but rather avoid intimacy and end up taking more than they give because whereas they do not take time to know you they want you to get to know them. When someone gets you there is a simple equation which is that you take the time to get to know them as well.
As life would have it we are a society of people who can pass right by one another or be touching on an overcrowded elevator and not so much as say hello or nod. This is a result of being more comfortable being insular than being human. Life smart people acknowledge a waiter that serves them meals. Life smart people understand the struggle of others in pain. Life smart people care about the state of the world and know how to make a bed and wash dishes. No book in the world on any subject will make us life smart. In fact lost of educated people in the world with degrees cannot fold laundry correctly or know what to say when toasting at their best friend's wedding. When someone gets it they do and when they do not then they just do not. We cannot make life dumb people into life smart ones when they are sure they are just great the way they are.
Listen closely: If you love someone or care about someone make certain that you are doing everything to connect to them, get to know them and "get them". Expect love back when you give it and give it without regulations or conditions. When you get someone you love them and they understand that you love them and take the time to know them.
Comments
Post a Comment