Coach Elliott

I like to think I have done some good in the world.  Even before I decided to get a second Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology I had this yearning to help others.  I think that for most of my life I made other people's healing more of a priority than my own happiness.  In spite of the fact that I was struggling I had this divine desire to be of service to mankind and womenkind.  I can honestly say that placing the focus on others will not result in your own joy and completeness although the latter seems to evade me more often than not.  What is complete, when are we complete anyway?  Could it be that what we really need is to live the most joyous life we can here and now, making the most of every single moment?  I think yes and let me share why: Because: 1. While you are here you might as well make the most of it. 2. Either way, looking back is fatal, never mind wasteful. 3. You can't look to other's opinions of you to feel good. 4. Taking the time for you

The fact that women even bother with men who are non-attentive and non-comital is beyond me, unless she really wants to be in a causal only relationship.  Like men, women can select the men that are the ones who they believe are of interest and who are substantial.  Yet many women settle for men who don't meet their standards when on the other hand men usually do not.  Men pick women who they have evaluated over time and one they get to know.  While many women do the same many others settle believing that one day they will change the man who is basically a frog into a prince.  This blog is not for the discerning women but for those who have found themselves believing that a man is eventually going to become attentive to them when all the signs say they have absolutely no intention to do that.  In fact knowing when men are not that into you is crucial to living a life where you just don't waste time on men who are "not that into you".  Here are some signs: 1.  He wai

I fear racists people more today than ever.  These folks are either very overt about it like Donald Trump while others are more covert.  I always say that the gay people came out o the closet and the racist got into the closet.  It's a rather strange thing to happen because even those ignorant people in the closet are more dangerous than the ones who are openly racist.  It is inside the privacy of their own homes that they are plotting to overturn every meaningful law that was instituted to provide equality to people who are either of color or disagree with the masses of bigots.   Many people believe that racism is a thing of the past.  In reality it is well, alive and thriving today more than ever.  We were given that jolt of reality when to our dismay a person like Trump was voted president and although I won't advocate for hating back it is surely a testament to the fact that there are many whites who deem themselves the superior race, some of which openly held celebratio

For those of you who have been bullied, been harassed, been mocked or been harmed by someone this blog is for you.  After a few years of my own emotional recovery from a group of bullies and their bullying behaviors I now know that "god intended it all for my good".  This quote from Genesis says it all: "You intended to harm me, but GOD intended it all for good".  We will all go through some difficult periods in our life and many times it comes with people who are haters and who will act as though they are "good people" or a "leave it to Beaver family" when in fact they are the most damaging types.  These folks are dangerous because many of them believe their own lies and justify their horrific behavior because they just know they are right and here to make you wrong.  These folks spend a lot of time displacing their own insecurity and self-loathing onto you.  Many of them go unnoticed because their disguise is so perfect and they have been p

Many years ago I heard this said by a teacher who worked with me when I was an assistant principal at a school: "don't hate, appreciate".  This woman happened to be a beautiful Black woman who had a great look about her, a witty sense of humor and was as sharp as a tack as they say.  She shared this with me in regards to an incident that had happened with her where other women were putting her down because of the way she dressed to work.  She definitely had her own sense of style and it was a beyond what one would expect in a grammar school setting, always looking as though she'd walked out of a Vogue magazine.  This comment got me to thinking about all the hate and jealousy that takes place in our society and how we are in such competition with each other versus in collaboration.  People hate what they don't understand or what they envy. On the other side of hate is an appreciation for others and a respect for everyone regardless of what they look like, what th

Earlier today I posted a couple of comments related to people who seek Latinos and then disrespect them.  Apparently I hit a nerve for one person who immediately rebutted it barking back at me and judging me as negative.  How could a life coach say something that is true?  OMG, WTH, LOL and all that stuff.  Although in part I was amused by her negative take on it my background and research tells me I hit the head on the nail with her.  My guess is that she either falls into the category and the shoe fit or there is some self-loathing going on.  Yet for me I see each person as their own experience and many are unhealed human beings who are triggered by the slightest of remarks that are associated with their past behaviors or life situations.  Since I am OK with that and people's emotions I could leave it at that, yet my sense is that there is more underneath it, something that I have experienced before when people deny that there is an issue with the treatment and perceptions of peo

By pointing out what your fears are or may be you create an energy of healing and of knowing that fear is really not in our natural nature as human beings.  In fact we were not born with fear but rather born in love and trust.  Even as a child we trusted people that may not have even deserved it.  Yet trusting is part of the healing process because fear is based on distrust and the illusion that there is something there stopping us that does not exist but that we actually made up.  With all that said let's take a look at the faces of fear: The Face of Distrust: When fear appears in as a face of distrust we not only distrust others but we don't trust in our own abilities nor do we trust in God/Goddess/Buddha/Our Inner Guides.  We live from day to day questioning others motives and showing a side of us that is not our genuine self but rather a mask we wear.  When we don't trust we live a life of anguish and pain, one that eventually stops us from connecting with others and