Don't Hate Appreciate
Many years ago I heard this said by a teacher who worked with me when I was an assistant principal at a school: "don't hate, appreciate". This woman happened to be a beautiful Black woman who had a great look about her, a witty sense of humor and was as sharp as a tack as they say. She shared this with me in regards to an incident that had happened with her where other women were putting her down because of the way she dressed to work. She definitely had her own sense of style and it was a beyond what one would expect in a grammar school setting, always looking as though she'd walked out of a Vogue magazine. This comment got me to thinking about all the hate and jealousy that takes place in our society and how we are in such competition with each other versus in collaboration. People hate what they don't understand or what they envy.
On the other side of hate is an appreciation for others and a respect for everyone regardless of what they look like, what they believe, what they value or how they present. Each of us must learn to appreciate others for who they are and understand that we can learn from others who are different from us if we open our minds and especially when we open our hearts. We must learn to take that which seems so different from us and turn it into a learning experience, one where we are willing to hear what others have to say. When we appreciate others we open the scope of our life experience and we flow with the differences because we know that in spite of those differences we are more alike than not. Learning to appreciate and to look at each person with a sense of compassion is the key to a world that is more in harmony and more collaborative, where helping others achieve their dreams becomes a part of our nature.
I will share this story about Carl because I think it to be a great example of hating rather than appreciating. Carl met Mary on line and started a relationship. Carl sensed early on that Mary's family did not like the fact that he was a Hispanic man. Over the years what started as jokes and what was couched in digs ended up being very overtly racist behaviors on the part of Mary's family and Mary. Carl hoped that one day Mary would stand up to her family but that day never came. Carl finally hit a wall when he got cancer and Mary continued to defend her family after many years of denying they were mean spirited people. Carl was a well educated man with three degrees, well dressed all the time and impeccable about his home, from a good family and a gentleman. None of these things made any difference to Mary's family who looked at him as beneath them. Nothing that he did or said would have changed the minds of these haters and after over 11 years Carl walked away from what was a hateful and abusive life.
The fact is that haters are haters and they dont' normally change. They hate because they really don't know much else and because they cannot control what is really self-hating and self-loathing. They hate on others because they cannot deal with their own inferiority complex. They hate because they are unhealed people who lack a connection to spirit. We may never change the fact that people do things that are hateful because of jealousy but what we can do is to deter ourselves from being in that energy for too long a period. We can spread love to others who are ready to receive it and walk away from those who are not. Appreciating people for who they are is likely one of the best things we can do but we don't have to interact with people who are hateful and don't know how to appreciate us. In the end what we think of ourselves is what matters. All that we can do is be willing to love and collaborate with the universe and it's people.
Elliott Max
On the other side of hate is an appreciation for others and a respect for everyone regardless of what they look like, what they believe, what they value or how they present. Each of us must learn to appreciate others for who they are and understand that we can learn from others who are different from us if we open our minds and especially when we open our hearts. We must learn to take that which seems so different from us and turn it into a learning experience, one where we are willing to hear what others have to say. When we appreciate others we open the scope of our life experience and we flow with the differences because we know that in spite of those differences we are more alike than not. Learning to appreciate and to look at each person with a sense of compassion is the key to a world that is more in harmony and more collaborative, where helping others achieve their dreams becomes a part of our nature.
I will share this story about Carl because I think it to be a great example of hating rather than appreciating. Carl met Mary on line and started a relationship. Carl sensed early on that Mary's family did not like the fact that he was a Hispanic man. Over the years what started as jokes and what was couched in digs ended up being very overtly racist behaviors on the part of Mary's family and Mary. Carl hoped that one day Mary would stand up to her family but that day never came. Carl finally hit a wall when he got cancer and Mary continued to defend her family after many years of denying they were mean spirited people. Carl was a well educated man with three degrees, well dressed all the time and impeccable about his home, from a good family and a gentleman. None of these things made any difference to Mary's family who looked at him as beneath them. Nothing that he did or said would have changed the minds of these haters and after over 11 years Carl walked away from what was a hateful and abusive life.
The fact is that haters are haters and they dont' normally change. They hate because they really don't know much else and because they cannot control what is really self-hating and self-loathing. They hate on others because they cannot deal with their own inferiority complex. They hate because they are unhealed people who lack a connection to spirit. We may never change the fact that people do things that are hateful because of jealousy but what we can do is to deter ourselves from being in that energy for too long a period. We can spread love to others who are ready to receive it and walk away from those who are not. Appreciating people for who they are is likely one of the best things we can do but we don't have to interact with people who are hateful and don't know how to appreciate us. In the end what we think of ourselves is what matters. All that we can do is be willing to love and collaborate with the universe and it's people.
Elliott Max
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