Latinos Are Vogue?
Earlier today I posted a couple of comments related to people who seek Latinos and then disrespect them. Apparently I hit a nerve for one person who immediately rebutted it barking back at me and judging me as negative. How could a life coach say something that is true? OMG, WTH, LOL and all that stuff. Although in part I was amused by her negative take on it my background and research tells me I hit the head on the nail with her. My guess is that she either falls into the category and the shoe fit or there is some self-loathing going on. Yet for me I see each person as their own experience and many are unhealed human beings who are triggered by the slightest of remarks that are associated with their past behaviors or life situations. Since I am OK with that and people's emotions I could leave it at that, yet my sense is that there is more underneath it, something that I have experienced before when people deny that there is an issue with the treatment and perceptions of people of color, specifically Hispanics as some refer to us. I prefer the word Latinos because I like the edgy feel to it and the in your face aspect of it. OMG, did I say that out loud?
I use to think, as some still do, that I had to prove something as a person of color. I had to excel and prove that the theories and the myths about us being less smart or less of this or that were in fact bullshit. Not only did I succeed I managed to get an undergraduate degree and two master's degrees. I worked up the ladder in my profession and made a six digit income, not because I had to but finally because I deserved to be paid well and loved what I did. It took me some time to understand that I did not have anything to prove nor did I have to cow down to others or feel myself less than. I worked hard to find my inner spirit and take back my power and in the end it was well worth it. This does not negate some of the disrespectful things that were said to me about my being a Latino. Nor does it dismiss the people who wanted to have this long term relationship with me and not so much as learn one thing about what means something to me, being a Latino. My culture has always been a source of pride for me yet people had the nerve to disrespect and trample on it by saying and doing things that were in a word, ignorant and bigoted. I will be honest in saying that it was not until someone outside my culture who pretended to love me insulted me at every turn around my being a Latino and mocking my culture, all disguised as a joke did I truly undertand this phenomenon, It was mind blowing to me and for a long time I did not want to believe it from someone who stated she loved me. It was then that my life changed for the better and I decided that no one would ever get the power from me to do that again. Today I insist on respect and if I detect otherwise I stand up for myself. I love my life now more than ever because I decided not to be a victim of people who are racist and are only with Latinos because they think it is Vogue or because they have this notion that we are "sexy latinos", although some of us are. But that is not what we want as a badge or label.
My story is beautiful because as a child I was taught that who I was is beautiful. My story has not always been perfect or roses because yes there have been haters and people who have misused their power or their illusion of power (more like the illusion). Today I know that what I want is a relationship with myself first and that any additional relationship is an addiction to my already complete life. I am happily single but if I decided not to be it would be with a person who is more like me who understands my culture or who at the very least is willing to learn. I find it difficult to accept that people get involved with us and have not desire to know of our culture or learn our language. For me it's not acceptable while I can understand and accept others for their choices. I am a Latino and the only people I want around me are people who honor and embrace that. If anyone wants to have an intimate and involved relationship with this Latino they have to make some changes and be willing to immerse themselves in my culture as I have the American culture.
To interpret my comments on FB: a social media as anything other than a sharing of my opinion and my being open and honest is for me one of the reasons that I am so insulted by people who not only don't get it they don't care to get it. Only people who have another cultural standard would understand it. It is not necessary to insult anyone because they share that it's not cute to think that because Latinos seem to be Vogue to date them and then not bother to learn anything of value from us. We have something special to share with others and I for one am proud of it. We may think racism is dead but frankly since the election of Trump it is more alive and well. This is what I think. Don't date Latinos if you are not willing to embrace who they are at their deepest being. It is offensive and for years and years we have been tolerating this notion that we are all Mexicans or that we are all sexy or or or...
Enough said.
Elliott Maximo Collazo: Life Coach and Human Being
I use to think, as some still do, that I had to prove something as a person of color. I had to excel and prove that the theories and the myths about us being less smart or less of this or that were in fact bullshit. Not only did I succeed I managed to get an undergraduate degree and two master's degrees. I worked up the ladder in my profession and made a six digit income, not because I had to but finally because I deserved to be paid well and loved what I did. It took me some time to understand that I did not have anything to prove nor did I have to cow down to others or feel myself less than. I worked hard to find my inner spirit and take back my power and in the end it was well worth it. This does not negate some of the disrespectful things that were said to me about my being a Latino. Nor does it dismiss the people who wanted to have this long term relationship with me and not so much as learn one thing about what means something to me, being a Latino. My culture has always been a source of pride for me yet people had the nerve to disrespect and trample on it by saying and doing things that were in a word, ignorant and bigoted. I will be honest in saying that it was not until someone outside my culture who pretended to love me insulted me at every turn around my being a Latino and mocking my culture, all disguised as a joke did I truly undertand this phenomenon, It was mind blowing to me and for a long time I did not want to believe it from someone who stated she loved me. It was then that my life changed for the better and I decided that no one would ever get the power from me to do that again. Today I insist on respect and if I detect otherwise I stand up for myself. I love my life now more than ever because I decided not to be a victim of people who are racist and are only with Latinos because they think it is Vogue or because they have this notion that we are "sexy latinos", although some of us are. But that is not what we want as a badge or label.
My story is beautiful because as a child I was taught that who I was is beautiful. My story has not always been perfect or roses because yes there have been haters and people who have misused their power or their illusion of power (more like the illusion). Today I know that what I want is a relationship with myself first and that any additional relationship is an addiction to my already complete life. I am happily single but if I decided not to be it would be with a person who is more like me who understands my culture or who at the very least is willing to learn. I find it difficult to accept that people get involved with us and have not desire to know of our culture or learn our language. For me it's not acceptable while I can understand and accept others for their choices. I am a Latino and the only people I want around me are people who honor and embrace that. If anyone wants to have an intimate and involved relationship with this Latino they have to make some changes and be willing to immerse themselves in my culture as I have the American culture.
To interpret my comments on FB: a social media as anything other than a sharing of my opinion and my being open and honest is for me one of the reasons that I am so insulted by people who not only don't get it they don't care to get it. Only people who have another cultural standard would understand it. It is not necessary to insult anyone because they share that it's not cute to think that because Latinos seem to be Vogue to date them and then not bother to learn anything of value from us. We have something special to share with others and I for one am proud of it. We may think racism is dead but frankly since the election of Trump it is more alive and well. This is what I think. Don't date Latinos if you are not willing to embrace who they are at their deepest being. It is offensive and for years and years we have been tolerating this notion that we are all Mexicans or that we are all sexy or or or...
Enough said.
Elliott Maximo Collazo: Life Coach and Human Being
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