Our Darkest Moments
If someone asks you about your darkest moments you might think about the time someone in your family died, a divorce or getting fired from a job. It's funny how in the aftermath of these things we realize that we are OK, that some of our darkness was not so dark and that we have survived all of those dark experiences.
Re framing our situation gives us the strength and wisdom we need to see that not all of what happened to us is terribly bad and that in the end we are able to manage it. If our dog dies we might soon see a re frame by thinking about the joy we experienced with our dog. If our favorite aunt moves to Spain and we feel sadness about it, it may help to see it as an opportunity to go to Spain every year and learn how to talk to her live on our computer. Re framing doesn't take much. It is simply looking for the right parts in what we think is the wrong situation for us. We may not be able to do this every time but we can do it sometimes and whenever it is possible we should.
Looking back at our dark moments, not reliving them but to learn from them is helpful for some. Look back at what those experiences have been and what you have learned from them. Look back and see that not only did you survive you flourished at times. Recalling what you have survived in life is a tell tale sign that you will recover from what is to come. Inevitably there are going to be dark parts and experiences but remember we usually get through it.
Make a decision to accept that not everything in your life will go as planned and that not every experience is going to be light. It is normal to have some dark moments and dark have some dark things happen. If you never experience darkness then you may not be experiencing your life fully. I say we should embrace that sometimes life feels like a flaw and that this does not mean that we need to fix it but rather to accept it. This acceptance can be done with ease and grace or we can continue to jump and scream which if you notice, doesn't work.
Balance the darkness with light. This means find some things to do in your life to maintain balance and equilibrium within. Exercise, write, dance, do yoga exercises, take photos and accept some invitations to dinner. If we wait for something to come along to shed light on the darkness we are feeling at the moment we may be waiting a terribly long time.
I am a writer and so of course I would recommend writing about the darkest time in your life. The reason you may want to do this is because you want to move away from it and find closure with it. When you are writing use very colorful language that describes how it felt to have that experience. For some it may be surviving cancer and for others it could be the time you were not asked to the prom. Write for a good twenty minutes about this dark experience. Then get another sheet of paper and write about how you got past it, who was involved, how you think you got through it and what lessons you learned from it.
In summation, know that everyone has had darkness and light experiences and that no one is exempt. You don't have to feel strange and you don't have to live in fear. Take from those dark experiences and turn them into life lessons. When we deny it, when we fight it and when we behave as if we are perfectly poised we are delaying our truth and we are delaying our life path. It takes all of who we are to make up the whole person.
Re framing our situation gives us the strength and wisdom we need to see that not all of what happened to us is terribly bad and that in the end we are able to manage it. If our dog dies we might soon see a re frame by thinking about the joy we experienced with our dog. If our favorite aunt moves to Spain and we feel sadness about it, it may help to see it as an opportunity to go to Spain every year and learn how to talk to her live on our computer. Re framing doesn't take much. It is simply looking for the right parts in what we think is the wrong situation for us. We may not be able to do this every time but we can do it sometimes and whenever it is possible we should.
Looking back at our dark moments, not reliving them but to learn from them is helpful for some. Look back at what those experiences have been and what you have learned from them. Look back and see that not only did you survive you flourished at times. Recalling what you have survived in life is a tell tale sign that you will recover from what is to come. Inevitably there are going to be dark parts and experiences but remember we usually get through it.
Make a decision to accept that not everything in your life will go as planned and that not every experience is going to be light. It is normal to have some dark moments and dark have some dark things happen. If you never experience darkness then you may not be experiencing your life fully. I say we should embrace that sometimes life feels like a flaw and that this does not mean that we need to fix it but rather to accept it. This acceptance can be done with ease and grace or we can continue to jump and scream which if you notice, doesn't work.
Balance the darkness with light. This means find some things to do in your life to maintain balance and equilibrium within. Exercise, write, dance, do yoga exercises, take photos and accept some invitations to dinner. If we wait for something to come along to shed light on the darkness we are feeling at the moment we may be waiting a terribly long time.
I am a writer and so of course I would recommend writing about the darkest time in your life. The reason you may want to do this is because you want to move away from it and find closure with it. When you are writing use very colorful language that describes how it felt to have that experience. For some it may be surviving cancer and for others it could be the time you were not asked to the prom. Write for a good twenty minutes about this dark experience. Then get another sheet of paper and write about how you got past it, who was involved, how you think you got through it and what lessons you learned from it.
In summation, know that everyone has had darkness and light experiences and that no one is exempt. You don't have to feel strange and you don't have to live in fear. Take from those dark experiences and turn them into life lessons. When we deny it, when we fight it and when we behave as if we are perfectly poised we are delaying our truth and we are delaying our life path. It takes all of who we are to make up the whole person.
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