Light and Dark
I use to believe that my dark side should be concealed or denied. I bet some of you have been raised to believe that your dark side is something to be ashamed of, control or make believe does not exist. Like me you may have falsely deduced that you should stuff this aspect of you and these feelings down. Often times when I when I expressed anger, jealous feelings, resentment or desires it was more often than not labeled dark and wrong. Many of us have been raised in an environment where it was simply not acceptable to express anything that looked, felt or was dark in nature.
The affect that holding back our dark feelings (anger, resentment, jealousy) has become evident in our society in the form of serious crimes where anger and forms of darkness has been expressed in the most inappropriate manner. Although we know that anger is not always expressed in a healthy and productive it seems almost impossible not to express it in a way that some deem bad or label as wrong. Of course our dark side can manifest in many other forms and whatever from it is expressed is for some too dark to accept or even to witness, even temporarily.
Those of us who are uncomfortable with darkness in others may be the same ones that are not comfortable with our own dark thoughts and feelings. We have been taught to be ashamed of ourselves for thinking about anyone or anything with dislike in our hearts. What I think is that darkness makes us uncomfortable because we have been made to believe that only bad people have dark feelings. The truth is that we are all made of light and dark aspects. The reality is that we all battle with some darkness or expressions of despair.
I will never forget the counselor who once said to me "I know you are comfortable with your darkness but..." in a tone that I interpreted as patronizing after I had previously shared that I was not entirely ashamed of the fact that I have had dark times in my life and feelings of darkness. Needless to say I did not go back to this person for advise realizing in my heart that being shamed or shaming myself for being normal was not quite the route I wanted to take to heal from my past. Today what I would encourage in others is to embrace your darkness in a way that does not deny it and in a way that allows you to feel the feelings and get past them. I would say to others that labeling yourself as bad for having dark feelings is unproductive and unrealistic. It is having an expectation of yourself that you will likely not meet because it is normal to feel those feelings. I want to be clear in stating that acting on our dark feelings can be inappropriate and damaging to others, never mind the harm we do to our spirit, but that some darkness is a normal part of who we are. I think that for some people denying their darkness is about the message that it is not normal and that having those feelings is completely unacceptable.
We are darkness and we are light. It is not likely that we are 50 percent of each but that the percentages of darkness and light vary. When we embrace the fact that we are both light and dark we embrace our total being and when we do not we deny a part of who we are as human beings with flaws and gifts, sadness and joy. We know what light is because we have been in the dark and we know what darkness is because we have experienced the light. We know what joy is because we have experienced some pain and we can identify and heal the pain because we have a desire to feel the joy we know exists. To those who believe that darkness is not a part of who they are I want to personally congratulate you and witness whatever belief you hold. To those of you who have battled with the darkness I want to share that you are not alone and that identifying that part of you is part of the journey we sometimes refer to as living.
Elliott Collazo
Life Coach
MA, Spiritual Psychology
The affect that holding back our dark feelings (anger, resentment, jealousy) has become evident in our society in the form of serious crimes where anger and forms of darkness has been expressed in the most inappropriate manner. Although we know that anger is not always expressed in a healthy and productive it seems almost impossible not to express it in a way that some deem bad or label as wrong. Of course our dark side can manifest in many other forms and whatever from it is expressed is for some too dark to accept or even to witness, even temporarily.
Those of us who are uncomfortable with darkness in others may be the same ones that are not comfortable with our own dark thoughts and feelings. We have been taught to be ashamed of ourselves for thinking about anyone or anything with dislike in our hearts. What I think is that darkness makes us uncomfortable because we have been made to believe that only bad people have dark feelings. The truth is that we are all made of light and dark aspects. The reality is that we all battle with some darkness or expressions of despair.
I will never forget the counselor who once said to me "I know you are comfortable with your darkness but..." in a tone that I interpreted as patronizing after I had previously shared that I was not entirely ashamed of the fact that I have had dark times in my life and feelings of darkness. Needless to say I did not go back to this person for advise realizing in my heart that being shamed or shaming myself for being normal was not quite the route I wanted to take to heal from my past. Today what I would encourage in others is to embrace your darkness in a way that does not deny it and in a way that allows you to feel the feelings and get past them. I would say to others that labeling yourself as bad for having dark feelings is unproductive and unrealistic. It is having an expectation of yourself that you will likely not meet because it is normal to feel those feelings. I want to be clear in stating that acting on our dark feelings can be inappropriate and damaging to others, never mind the harm we do to our spirit, but that some darkness is a normal part of who we are. I think that for some people denying their darkness is about the message that it is not normal and that having those feelings is completely unacceptable.
We are darkness and we are light. It is not likely that we are 50 percent of each but that the percentages of darkness and light vary. When we embrace the fact that we are both light and dark we embrace our total being and when we do not we deny a part of who we are as human beings with flaws and gifts, sadness and joy. We know what light is because we have been in the dark and we know what darkness is because we have experienced the light. We know what joy is because we have experienced some pain and we can identify and heal the pain because we have a desire to feel the joy we know exists. To those who believe that darkness is not a part of who they are I want to personally congratulate you and witness whatever belief you hold. To those of you who have battled with the darkness I want to share that you are not alone and that identifying that part of you is part of the journey we sometimes refer to as living.
Elliott Collazo
Life Coach
MA, Spiritual Psychology
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