Dance Alone
I am sure that most of us have heard that one saying that ends with "dance like there is no one watching". Well, I have a new take on that one and I say "dance alone and don't worry that anyone is watching. In fact dance so vividly that everyone starts watching and maybe even join in on the dance. Doing things alone can be a lot of fun and waiting around will likely not result in as many dances and as many adventures.
When I was single I remember spending many nights alone thinking about what it would be like to have someone to go to dinner with or to catch an afternoon movie with. After a few months of that I realised how unlikely it was that someone would come to the door and ask me to accompany them to on a bus ride downtown least of all a nice restaurant to eat. It was then when I got my ass up and decided to try a new Italian place down the street. I sat at the bar, ordered a meal and chatted with the bar tender at a place called Francesca in Chicago. After that I found the courage to come back time and time again. It was not long before I got the swing of it and started to love dining alone. After all I did not have to worry about how I chewed my food, how fast I ate and whether someone across the table might object to my ice cream puff desert with chocolate smeared all over the top of it. I just got to the place where I just didn't mind eating alone and in fact it started to feel pretty natural and enjoyable. This started a brand new phase for me that included all types of activities.
The first time I went to New York I called it my birthday trip. I decided that I would be somewhere other than home for my birthday and honour myself with a trip somewhere I'd not been and somewhere that would be considered a bold place to visit. New York seemed to fit the bill so off I went. There were many experiences including the one morning that I sat in a park eating a bagel and sipping some Starbucks and I spotted a young women sitting across from me in her bobby socks and heels looking like the very last French Barbie. I thought about it for a minute or two when I suddenly go the urge to say hello to her. I seemed to have thrown my skirt over my head and wasn't worried about rejection or being misinterpreted. She opened up right away to a conversation that lasted about an hour that involved laughter. That day I ended up spending the entire day with this person after she invited me to go see apartments with her, had lunch and then dinner with her. It was "like at first sight" and we talked and interacted as though we knew each other for years. It was my dancing alone that created an experience that I will never forget, one that ended in the late evening with a sighting of Lisa Minnelli in a cafe where I bid my aquaintance farewell. Yes, Judy Garland's daughter, Lisa!
I have gone to Mexico numerous times now. Puerto Vallarta, Playa del Carmen, Cancun, San Sebastián, Cabo San Lucas, San Juan del Cabo and others destinations. One of the first times I went to Puerto Vallarta while sitting laying by the pool a mom calls her son "Elliott" and since my name is a bit unusual I said to her, "that's funny that is my name as well". That sparked a two hour conversation and later that evening I found myself dining al fresco with her and her family. The next day I was asked by a group of people to join in a pool volleyball game and by the end of the evening six of us were at a salsa dance club having drinks and joking around as if we were all best friends. By the tail end of my stay I was at a table with 12 people from various parts of the world having dinner. It felt heavenly just looking around me at how beautiful each person was and how incredibly open we were all towards each other. Most of all it felt wonderful to me that my choosing to travel alone resulted in this enjoyable and special moment.
Doing things on our own doesn't seem natural to us at first but once we take the leap and do what is resonating for us as adventurous or fun it is awesome. Whether it's dancing alone, traveling alone, eating alone or taking a walk being alone is sometimes the most interesting and wonderful experience. The lovely part is that when we are out having our experiences alone we are rarely alone for very long and even if we are we have the chance to experience life in a different way that is not dependent on someone else's thoughts or desires or our fears about what another person might want to do, think about what we are doing or want to be doing differently from what comes out of our heart and in the moment. We can be spontaneous, we can take a risk, we can end up at a table with 12 people or we can dance in the dark in our underwear. We can know that we can be in our own company and be happy with it, even love it. Being alone is healing and it gives us the opportunity to do what our heart desires in the moment not worrying about anything but living and loving it.
When I was single I remember spending many nights alone thinking about what it would be like to have someone to go to dinner with or to catch an afternoon movie with. After a few months of that I realised how unlikely it was that someone would come to the door and ask me to accompany them to on a bus ride downtown least of all a nice restaurant to eat. It was then when I got my ass up and decided to try a new Italian place down the street. I sat at the bar, ordered a meal and chatted with the bar tender at a place called Francesca in Chicago. After that I found the courage to come back time and time again. It was not long before I got the swing of it and started to love dining alone. After all I did not have to worry about how I chewed my food, how fast I ate and whether someone across the table might object to my ice cream puff desert with chocolate smeared all over the top of it. I just got to the place where I just didn't mind eating alone and in fact it started to feel pretty natural and enjoyable. This started a brand new phase for me that included all types of activities.
The first time I went to New York I called it my birthday trip. I decided that I would be somewhere other than home for my birthday and honour myself with a trip somewhere I'd not been and somewhere that would be considered a bold place to visit. New York seemed to fit the bill so off I went. There were many experiences including the one morning that I sat in a park eating a bagel and sipping some Starbucks and I spotted a young women sitting across from me in her bobby socks and heels looking like the very last French Barbie. I thought about it for a minute or two when I suddenly go the urge to say hello to her. I seemed to have thrown my skirt over my head and wasn't worried about rejection or being misinterpreted. She opened up right away to a conversation that lasted about an hour that involved laughter. That day I ended up spending the entire day with this person after she invited me to go see apartments with her, had lunch and then dinner with her. It was "like at first sight" and we talked and interacted as though we knew each other for years. It was my dancing alone that created an experience that I will never forget, one that ended in the late evening with a sighting of Lisa Minnelli in a cafe where I bid my aquaintance farewell. Yes, Judy Garland's daughter, Lisa!
I have gone to Mexico numerous times now. Puerto Vallarta, Playa del Carmen, Cancun, San Sebastián, Cabo San Lucas, San Juan del Cabo and others destinations. One of the first times I went to Puerto Vallarta while sitting laying by the pool a mom calls her son "Elliott" and since my name is a bit unusual I said to her, "that's funny that is my name as well". That sparked a two hour conversation and later that evening I found myself dining al fresco with her and her family. The next day I was asked by a group of people to join in a pool volleyball game and by the end of the evening six of us were at a salsa dance club having drinks and joking around as if we were all best friends. By the tail end of my stay I was at a table with 12 people from various parts of the world having dinner. It felt heavenly just looking around me at how beautiful each person was and how incredibly open we were all towards each other. Most of all it felt wonderful to me that my choosing to travel alone resulted in this enjoyable and special moment.
Doing things on our own doesn't seem natural to us at first but once we take the leap and do what is resonating for us as adventurous or fun it is awesome. Whether it's dancing alone, traveling alone, eating alone or taking a walk being alone is sometimes the most interesting and wonderful experience. The lovely part is that when we are out having our experiences alone we are rarely alone for very long and even if we are we have the chance to experience life in a different way that is not dependent on someone else's thoughts or desires or our fears about what another person might want to do, think about what we are doing or want to be doing differently from what comes out of our heart and in the moment. We can be spontaneous, we can take a risk, we can end up at a table with 12 people or we can dance in the dark in our underwear. We can know that we can be in our own company and be happy with it, even love it. Being alone is healing and it gives us the opportunity to do what our heart desires in the moment not worrying about anything but living and loving it.
Comments
Post a Comment