DREAM DREAM DREAM

If you are going to dream,  dream yourself into your perfect life.  If you are going to dream, dream yourself to a place where you are empowered and courageous.  If you are going to dream make it your own dream, the one where you are the hero and you win the prize.  If you are going to dream why not dream bigger and better and why not dream yourself into the best version of who you already are?

I have been dreaming again and when I dream I guess I get a little melancholy.  The last dream I had was one I have had at various times of my life, back to when I was a little kid.  I dreamt that people were chasing me and those people almost always represented a scary monster and a threat to my life. I would sometimes run and other times I would run and suddenly I would have the power to lift up my body and begin to float in the air.  I would then be terrified that a tone point or another I would end up crashing down only to be caught by whatever represented evil or harm.  Most of the dreams would end in my waking up frightened and sometimes I would end up waking myself up with my own screaming out loud.  Without detailing my childhood I will simply share that I was an abused kid and the dreams were likely a reaction to my already unsafe life filled with uncertainty and a few bruises.  I regress.

Very recently I had a dream that I was wandering on the dark streets of some area that looked shabby
and scary and had an energy of utter darkness.  I suddenly felt like I needed to go to the restroom and felt urgency.  I had to find a bathroom even in this darkness and when I looked around the corner I saw an old building with a little light coming from within.  I reluctantly entered the building through
 a dock in the back and to my surprise I found what I was looking for.  When it was time to go I noticed a man was entering the area where I was and my first thought was to be scared and wonder
how I would explain myself to him.  What was I doing there?  I was sure he would ask me.  I decided to say hello and simply begin seeing myself out but there was one problem, there was no exit, not even a door either to the left of me or the right.  I panicked and just knew intuitively that I was in deep trouble.  I finally jumped out of a window only to find that I was surrounded by locked gates.  I was even more scared now and thought I was doomed when suddenly one section of the gate opened and I ran out in time before it closed on me.  It felt like it was even darker now than ever and as I walked down the street I could see some people in front of me that looked scary and mean.  All I could think about was pretending not to be scared and just playing it off.  Still inside I was petrified.  When I got to what I thought was the end of the block a woman who appeared to be drugged up asked me for money.  I knew I had a little money in my wallet but if I took it out to give her a donation I was sure she would rob me or rob me and kill me so I decided to say no and continued walking.  Unfortunately at the point in which I turned I noticed there was no outlet.  I was trapped and my worse dream had come true.  It was at that moment when I felt a surge of complete anger and terror and I screamed so loud that I woke myself up.  I had dreamed myself into fear.  I had dreamed myself into anger.  I had dreamed myself into confusion and pain.  I had dreamed myself into such hell that I literally woke up more frightened than I have been in a long time.

We dream ourselves into our own version of hell.  We truly dream ourselves into a fearful place and we do this by not consciously deciding to dream ourselves into a peaceful and loving space.  We don't understand that we have some control of what we want for ourselves even as we lay down to sleep.  That is why it is so important for us to begin to feed ourselves the dreams we want to dream and the things we want in our lives.

On the other end of my dreams are all those times when I decide what I am going to dream and I imagine myself dancing the waltz with a handsome prince.  I visualize this in detail and down to the room that we are in as well as the colors of our clothing.  I hear the song playing in the background and I feel the beat of the music and sense his movements and mine.  As we dance I see his face vividly  smiling at me and I feel the joy of the dance.  In one dream I see all the people dancing around us and the musicians in their tuxedos.  It is vivid and it is purposeful.  I fall asleep smiling and I can feel myself drifting off gracefully and peacefully.  All in all it is a wonderful experience and when I wake up in the morning I feel completely rested and energetic.

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