When You're In The Dark: Never Believe
"Never believe what you say to yourself when you are in the dark".
Elliott M. Collazo
I was inspired to write this blog by my cousin Hada. She inspires me for a variety of reasons but most of all for her courage.
When we are in a place of darkness we will and do "talk some smack" about ourselves. In fact, we are sometimes truly low down and say things to ourselves that were likely said to us as children. I know because I have the t-shirt and it says: "you're not good enough". Now my life is different and I have a shirt that says: "No Regrets". When we are in that place of self-destruction and pity we are in fact in the dark and it is best we not say anything to anyone including our own self. Yet despite this reasonable and logical truth about us we often times are the very first to attack ourselves mercilessly.
I love the saying that Dr. Phil uses: "How's that working for you?" I have heard my favorite life coach Vanzant use it and I use it on occasion. It is a way for me to be funny but in a specific way that holds others accountable for their actions and most of all holds me accountable for my own. It is when we are in those dark places in our mind that we will become our own inner battle between good and not so helpful. I want to share that one of the things you can tell yourself is just what Phil asks of others: "How is this working for me?" The moment that you feel yourself being triggered ask yourself that question as a way to begin to jolt yourself out of that self-hating behavior.
We are made of darkness. We are also made of light. We strive (at least I do) to be in the light more often than in the darkness. Yet life has a way of pulling us in when we make everything about something and we allow ourselves to be manipulated by people, situations or circumstances. Admitting that we are not Mary Poppins and not all good is an authentic and real way to address the dark parts of us. Stop yourself when you begin to go into a place of negativity or stress and ask: "What is going on in me that feels like I deserve this?" Or "What makes me feel like I don't deserve better than this?" At the very core of who we are we are not meant to stay in the dark but rather to come to the light. Each of us are deserving no matter how many dark thoughts we have had.
The way to the positive and beautiful light is by doing things that nourish that part of us daily and not doing things we know don't nourish us. For some of us a day without TV would be healing and for others a time to pray will suffice for the duration of the day. Each act that we commit is either honoring us or dishonorable to our spirit. Every day has to have an intention to live fully and to do so in a way that is positive, doing wonderful things and in with the sole purpose of avoiding those things we know bring hate to our inner energy. The circle around us needs to be thought it every day. Keeping busy and running may feel good but the crisis may not be far if we are not intentionally doing things that honor us and honor others we love.
I would not buy a condo when I am feeling like crap. I don't think most people would make large purchases in a bad state of mind and yet there are exceptions. People will and have made some major decisions in the dark. Some may even end up married to the wrong person. We have all heard of it yet we think we are the one to be above it. Be aware when you are in a dark place of neediness, stress, anger, jealousy or confusion and don't make any decisions if at all possible. Actually, make one decision: sit down, breathe, calm yourself, get some rest and wait a day or two.
Darkness is not scary to most of us because we have overcome it. That simple accomplishment tells us that we are capable of making it through the darkness and the fear we may have experienced as children. It is a testament to our ability to go from the fear to becoming a survivor of that old myth. We no longer need to be afraid of the dark anymore. We only need to face it repeatedly and know that we can overcome it again.
Coach Elliott Maximo
Elliott M. Collazo
I was inspired to write this blog by my cousin Hada. She inspires me for a variety of reasons but most of all for her courage.
When we are in a place of darkness we will and do "talk some smack" about ourselves. In fact, we are sometimes truly low down and say things to ourselves that were likely said to us as children. I know because I have the t-shirt and it says: "you're not good enough". Now my life is different and I have a shirt that says: "No Regrets". When we are in that place of self-destruction and pity we are in fact in the dark and it is best we not say anything to anyone including our own self. Yet despite this reasonable and logical truth about us we often times are the very first to attack ourselves mercilessly.
I love the saying that Dr. Phil uses: "How's that working for you?" I have heard my favorite life coach Vanzant use it and I use it on occasion. It is a way for me to be funny but in a specific way that holds others accountable for their actions and most of all holds me accountable for my own. It is when we are in those dark places in our mind that we will become our own inner battle between good and not so helpful. I want to share that one of the things you can tell yourself is just what Phil asks of others: "How is this working for me?" The moment that you feel yourself being triggered ask yourself that question as a way to begin to jolt yourself out of that self-hating behavior.
We are made of darkness. We are also made of light. We strive (at least I do) to be in the light more often than in the darkness. Yet life has a way of pulling us in when we make everything about something and we allow ourselves to be manipulated by people, situations or circumstances. Admitting that we are not Mary Poppins and not all good is an authentic and real way to address the dark parts of us. Stop yourself when you begin to go into a place of negativity or stress and ask: "What is going on in me that feels like I deserve this?" Or "What makes me feel like I don't deserve better than this?" At the very core of who we are we are not meant to stay in the dark but rather to come to the light. Each of us are deserving no matter how many dark thoughts we have had.
The way to the positive and beautiful light is by doing things that nourish that part of us daily and not doing things we know don't nourish us. For some of us a day without TV would be healing and for others a time to pray will suffice for the duration of the day. Each act that we commit is either honoring us or dishonorable to our spirit. Every day has to have an intention to live fully and to do so in a way that is positive, doing wonderful things and in with the sole purpose of avoiding those things we know bring hate to our inner energy. The circle around us needs to be thought it every day. Keeping busy and running may feel good but the crisis may not be far if we are not intentionally doing things that honor us and honor others we love.
I would not buy a condo when I am feeling like crap. I don't think most people would make large purchases in a bad state of mind and yet there are exceptions. People will and have made some major decisions in the dark. Some may even end up married to the wrong person. We have all heard of it yet we think we are the one to be above it. Be aware when you are in a dark place of neediness, stress, anger, jealousy or confusion and don't make any decisions if at all possible. Actually, make one decision: sit down, breathe, calm yourself, get some rest and wait a day or two.
Darkness is not scary to most of us because we have overcome it. That simple accomplishment tells us that we are capable of making it through the darkness and the fear we may have experienced as children. It is a testament to our ability to go from the fear to becoming a survivor of that old myth. We no longer need to be afraid of the dark anymore. We only need to face it repeatedly and know that we can overcome it again.
Coach Elliott Maximo
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