Coach Elliott

Recently, in the last several months I have "unfriended" a number of people.  The main reason is because each of them were takers and it rarely felt as though they were willing to give.  Although I am not one to keep score when it is obvious that people take much more than they give, I feel it is time to move on, and so that is exactly what I have done. Takers are out there and there is really nothing we can do to change them.  Some of us are givers while some of us are not so giving.  It is not in the DNA of every person to give and when we force it we make a grave mistake, only to eventually be disappointed.  When we are conscious of giving and we are intentionally about the way we love others we automatically give.  When we are unconscious and live an unintentional life we end up thinking that we are owed something, we become entitled in a way that assumes that others are here to serve us without a knowing that we are really here to serve and care for ...

For many men admitting that a relationship is just about the physical lust is difficult.  In fact we men find it difficult to admit that we have feelings least of all express it to women.  We may very well know that the woman we are involved with sees us as more than just a fuck but we would rather move along without admitting we don't feel the same way.  Sometimes we do this because we don't want to hurt her feelings, we even say things that make her believe we care about her past the lust and the sex.  In the end it is best that we are honest with her and let her know that we are not emotionally invested and perhaps never will be.  In spite of our intention to be honest we may fail repeatedly because we like to have a women beside us that will serve that physical and primal need. I say that it is OK to have a purely physical connection with another human being if you are honest about it.  Although many women will share that just sex is not enough for th...

It seems so simple yet so accurate.  Men need to speak female language and use words that facilitate a receptive response from them.  Just as we wish women to understand us and speak our language we must be willing to do that same for her.  It may seem odd that men and women use different ways of communication but it is what it is and men need to accept that.  Becoming willing to address things in a way that is modeled for us by our female partner is a way to honor her, honor ourselves and honor the relationship. Here's how:  1. Listen to the words that she uses to express emotion and feelings. Note the words she uses on an everyday basis to describe things, situations, herself and others.  Take notice of the words she uses when she is speaking to you in a way that is loving and kind to you or she wants you to listen and hear her.  When a woman shares in a way that is compassionate and understanding she uses words like: I understand and otter aff...

"You owe it to yourself to say yes to the challenge and no to the spectators".  Elliott Collazo  I have often looked around to see who saw me fall and perhaps some of you have done the same.  I think it to be this instinctive response to the fact that we are sometimes so concerned about who is looking.  We fall and we immediately want to know if someone is laughing at us and if we should be embarrassed.  The idea of walking and falling in life as if no one is looking is akin to the notion that we can be so free if we just dance as if no one is watching and laugh as if no one is listening.  We falsely yearn for someone to be there approving of our dance or laughing with us so that we might feel more validated. We owe it to ourselves to say yes to every moment, every experienced and even those times when life is challenging us.  We must learn to find importance in laughter without any regard to who laughs with us but with the intention to simply lau...

This blog is dedicated to my brothers out there.  It is my hope that with this blog and eventual book that I will reach men who may have questions about life matters and specifically about women and relationships.  This blog is about being what you expect of a woman, whether it is for her to be honest with you or dancing a sexy dance for her.  By being what you want in a woman you will understand more fully that relationship is about showing up and modeling things that you yearn for in a partner, wife, girlfriend or lover. Be sexy:  Men want their women to be sensual and many times will ask a woman to wear a sexy night gown , maybe ever buying their wife or girlfriend and see through sexy outfit.  Yet what men fail to understand is that women like sexy men and that they would appreciate a man in some sexy knit boxers, maybe ever red ones.  Being a little sexy does not take a lot of work so while you are out there looking get yourself a sexy pair of under...

I know you have heard it before. Things like: It is important to love yourself.  You have also heard that loving yourself is selfish and that without love life is not worth living.  I especially love the myth that promotes the idea that finding someone to love is what is meant to be and that we are not meant to be alone.  It is just this kind of erroneous thinking that drives single people crazy and that causes so much confusion about being alone and the possibility of that being not just good but grand.  The fact is that with or without someone in your bed at night you still have to love yourself more.  This idea that life has more purpose with someone else in it is exactly why I have chosen to be single and enjoy each and every moment. No one can ever love you more than you can love yourself.  This is a truth yet now one we buy into.  We would rather blame the fact that we are alone and lonely on our emotional unhappiness.  The truth is that w...

We learn to be in relationships early in our lives.  Some of us know from the time we were very young whether we are good at establishing, nurturing and keeping relationships.  While some of us have friends that we knew from grammar school others never have that long a relationship life with anyone.  The most challenging relationship we will know is that one on one love relationship because it is intimate and involves a different and more emotional part of us.  Marriage is one of the ways that we decide to confirm relationship and it is by far a serious and big commitment.  As evidenced by the divorce rate marriage is not easily accomplished and many of us decide to end relationships because it does not work out.  But why is it that some of us are better at relationships while others seem to struggle with their relationships?  Here's why: We go into relationship and are not ready:  Many of us are not ready to be in any relationship that requ...

What most of us want in life is peace, serenity and calm yet it is the least intentional act we pursue.  Today I would like to talk about how to get into that center and experience that peace and balance we are intended to feel every day.  Although most of you may think this is something that will come to you naturally the reality is that we must intend it and bring it to ourselves by doing and thinking in a way that invites that brand of balance into our lives.   Here's how:  Be Quiet and Look Inside:  Take the time every day to become quiet.  Sit down or lay down, close your eyes and hold reverence for a minimum of 15 minutes.  For most of us this is difficult and we are especially skeptical of the benefits of becoming silent.  Even walking around our home and asking everyone to hold silence is a powerful experience.  This is. Time that you invite yourself to look inside and be grateful for what you have in your life.  This is...

We have heart this so many times before yet we don't realize how true it is.  "Looking for love in all the wrong places" may be a saying that some of us know only too well, because when we have become lonely we think that finding someone is the cure.  Being in love or having someone to love is not something we must desperately seek but rather something that will find us.  This my friends is how it works: Stop looking and just be.  Live your life fully and do all the things for yourself that you seek to have someone do for you.  Learn to self-care and do the things that bring you peace, love and centeredness.  Take the time to rest, eat well and take care of your home.  While you are alone you can be doing the very things that you may think you need someone else to do.  Become motivated to do those things on your own and do so with an energy of excitement. Keep going.  Do things that keep your active and moving.  Once you become use...

I have often thought about what it would be like to know.  Know your path, know what you want, know what is right for you and know where you want to be in life.  Then I realized that knowing everything is really not the goal at all because sometimes it is about not knowing and surrendering in the moment, with the experience and allowing ourselves to flow freely.  It is now at my seasoned state that I understand that I don't have to know and that in fact there is so little I really know.  Just being on the journey seems to be enough for me now more than ever before. I think it is more about courage and trust than knowing.  I believe that what I have needed in my life is to have the courage to face the next barrier and to trust that if I release certain things I have no control or power over that in the end it will be fine.  It is kind of like this awakening in life that one has at a certain time of ones life.  I get it now and feel like what matters i...

I have decided that this will be concise and brief in that it will simply list the five ways to find a love or someone who you would resonate with, someone who is meant for you:  1. Let it happen organically, naturally: Don't look for him or her.  Let love find you while you are busily doing things that are loving and joyful.  Don't think about it too much.  The more you live your life fully the more you will attract a person into your energy and into your already great life. 2. Determine your readiness: The first thing to do is to ask yourself if you are ready for love or if you have a willingness for love to come into your life.  Speak the words: "I am ready for love and I know that I can operate in a loving manner with another person." You can make up your own mantra as long as it reinforces that you are ready and that your heart is truly open. 3. Eliminate Blockages: Address any obstacles or distractions in your life.  If there is someone you ar...

For a very long time I have professed to people I coach how important it is to do things for ourselves that are self-loving and how this lifts us up, providing clarity and joy.  For some of us doing self-loving things speak to this inner voice that says that we are "selfish".  I want to be clear in saying that it is in fact selfish and that there does not need to be anything wrong with being selfish and doing things for oneself that are kind, compassionate, joyful, intentional and fun.  Being in a place of giving ourselves what we need helps us become more helpful and connected with others because when we are happy so will the others we love around us.  It is really that simple. Let's talk about some self loving acts that will lift you up and that may make perfect sense or challenge you to become more centered on yourself and less focused on everyone else when you need it and believe me when I say this: You will need it. Dinner: Make yourself a dinner or go out t...