Coach Elliott

I know a woman who we will just refer to as Judgemental Judy.   Let's be clear in stating that I am not referring to the one on TV who would be "Judge Judy". She has the credentials to be a judge and I respect her and feel she does a great job of getting the truth out of others while being absolutely entertaining in the process.  This Judgemental Judy is simply a person that I had an encounter with , one that I falsely thought might lead to a conversation.  She is ("bless her heart") the motivation for this BLOG about the beloved Marilyn Monroe and the movie "One Week with Marilyn".    Out of the blue and in what I found to be unusual circumstances I receive a call from Judgemental Judy where she brings up the movie "A Week with Marilyn" about the actress Marilyn Monroe.  I stated to her that I'd seen the movie.  She then said with what sounded like her usual harsh judgem...

I just had this thought around talents and how they enter into relationship.  Each person brings their baggage but each person brings their talents as well.  What we end up focusing on more is that good old baggage.  I guess we do that because  it's easier to go there and certainly makes our ego feel superior, temporarily.  If we are to be respected for our talents then we need to be willing to respect our partner's talents, but that is only the first part of the equation as they say.  The more important part is the one where you not only respect it but you allow that person to use their talents and move out of the way, trusting that they can do that part of life well and that all you need to do is go for the ride.  If your partner is good at finances then you allow them to do the finances and simply monitor the joint account.  If your partner is good at dressing and selecting clothing that is attractive and enduring then let him or her do that ...

The third element of love says: "Is willing to defend you, him or herself and stand up for your relationship". This element of love is another one of those things that people think are a given and yet for many it is completely non-existent.  It is based on the premise that when we love someone we defend them and at the very least assure them that we will, even if we think they are wrong, short of them doing something criminally based.  Our partner should know that we will defend them if the need arises and when the need arises it is our duty to lovingly defend our spouse.  This is especially important when things become tangled with the in-laws or the family of the other person, because above all else the families of a couple must be aware of the collective and supportive relationship you both agreed to and that no one in the families are allowed to intrude in that sacred space.  It is also important that the people who surround you both know that it is not an opti...

The second element of love is: Is willing and can clearly identify, see and support  your talents and your dreams.  One of the most daring challenges for me has been to identify my talents, see them as worthy and create a dream around both.  The other challenging part of it has been to love others enough to know see their talents and respect their dreams.  The last part of this has been to have the one person I love and spend my life with identify my talents and respect them and see my dream as valuable and possibly one that resonates as truth.  Someone who would support me dreams and someone who also acknowledges my talents.  It is no wonder to me that some of my clients are asking to be acknowledged and loved enough by a partner that he or she would be their cheerleader and listen to their song.  The problem can arise when the person that we are with has an issue wit...

I was just on my Face Book page and my daughter posted this quote: "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you" It only took me a few seconds to figure out that maybe this is what some of you need to hear, because I sure did.  If I think about what is going on right now in my life and how challenging it has been, I realize that this will create change in my life because I am once again, challenged.  This is how we learn and this is definitely how I make changes in my own life at times.  It takes a freaking bad situation to force us to look closely at what we are doing, where we are heading and to just get the hell out of the dark.  Looking through the keyhole and exacting where we are is another way for us to become who we want to be, who we know we are and who we will become more of.  That is painful to think about however when we see this as the truth of life we feel much better about how long we were in the...

I think I know what the elements of a loving relationship are but like many of you they often elude me.  I am more confused by the fact that they seem so logical and simple and yet so difficult to achieve.  I choose to believe that what makes a great relationship is two people willing to compromise, bend a little at a time, be present and witness one another.  We all know what it looks and feels like when another person that you love sees you, witnesses who you are, acknowledges you and prizes you.  We have likely experienced what it is like to have this element missing in relationship.  I cannot speak for others but what I sense is that when a partner is unable to witness you it is not so much about you as it is about them.  I also believe that all of us have something about our selves that is worthy of witnessing, acknowledging and prizing.  When we are in a relationship where we are not witnessed we feel devalued and ...

This is one of the most difficult subjects I have decided to write about so I am going to start small and see where it goes.  What I have uncovered recently are some questions about what love looks like and how a partner should show up as well as how I show up in relationship.  I have thought about what the key elements of  an intimate and loving relationship are and I came up with: A person who loves you: 1. Will be willing to witness, acknowledge and Prize you 2. Can clearly identify, see and support your talents and dreams 3. Will defend you/himself or herself and stand up for your relationship 4. Has an open heart and listens to what you say and when appropriate utilizes the knowledge to better the relationship 5. Will take action and responsibility for him or herself without being asked or coached into it For now I simply want you all to look at the five criteria of what I think equals a great partner, hence a wonderful relationship.  I know t...