Coach Elliott

Today is my birthday and as I sit here after having three cups of coffee and savoring the time alone in the guest bedroom I think of that old phrase, "life is short".  It is isn't it?  Life seems to go fast when you look back and now at 59 I ask myself: Where did it go?  It just seems to have gone so fast.  As a result I have some advise for all my readers: Eat dessert first whenever you like and make it decadent. Take time to goof off and do nothing in particular every day. Find and form your own clan of people who will cheer for you. Buy one quality item versus ten cheap ones. Dance by yourself and if others join you it will be an addition to your party. Don't worry about anything because in the end it will be the same result. Don't take what others say to heart. Say what you need to say in a way that others can hear you. Surround yourself with beautiful, meaningful things in your home. Before you laugh at others laugh at yourself. Present...

Sometimes when life throws me a curb what comes me is "keep dancing".  I love to dance and when I am dancing I feel a particularly child like joy.  When I dance it seems as though I forget everything and I get lost in the beat of the music and the spirit of the dance.  I feel a sense of abandonment and my heart feels happy.  If only when we have issues in life we could remember to keep dancing, keep living, keep laughing and keep breathing. Life is going to have some challenging and dark moments.  A life that is lived is going to have some bumps in it and frankly if there were not any issues life might being a bit mundane.  If we could accept that there is going to be some times of trouble and keep going we will be all the better for it.  It is when we allow the downs to paralyze us and render us immobile we stop dancing, we stop enjoying life and we falsely believe that we have no choice but to lay down.  The trick is to keep doing, keep moving...

Victim or Survivor: There will eventually be a time where we must each decide if we are a victim or we are a survivor.  I think it best to be a survivor, even if we have once been a victim and that going around retelling our story of victimization is likely not in our best interest.  There are legitimate victims, both adults and children who have been abused and hurt both emotionally and physically.  This is not about questioning if one has been a victim or not but rather a conversation around victim versus survivor and whether we want to maintain a life in a place of victim.  Let's begin by addressing the idea of being a victim.  What is that like? When we are in the position of victim we are powerless and unhappy.  Although there will be times when others will feel badly for us and even empathize with us, in the long run being in victim mode will only hold us back, keeping us inside that restrictive dome.  Victim status co...

I guess now is as good a time as any to change the subject and talk about what has come up for me in my own relationship, that being purpose and intention.  I am finding that my relationship has improved as a result of both of us becoming purposeful and intentional.  Having intention is another way of moving in relationship with an outcome in mind, one that is positive and purposeful.  If our intention is to be happy, connect more or just be more playful then it is more likely to happen when we think it through. On the converse if our intention is to get back at our partner or friend then that is just as likely to happen.  It is the intention from which we come from that will provide the outcome we want.  The biggest thing is that if we don't have any intentions or purpose we will likely either stay stagnant or we will not get much of anything better.  Whether we are talking about friendship, love or...

I have attempted to be as  spontaneous as possible around my BLOG even though I am not sure that there is any method to my madness to begin with, hence the "spontaneous" nature of it.  It is really not like I have a choice since it takes me about ten seconds to become distracted like I am now listening to the television that is turned on nearby in the living area.  I will be right back.  OK, I'm back now.  A momentary distraction has been attended to by the push of a remote.  Too bad issues of life cannot be that simple all the time.  As I have shared in the past this series of BLOGS will be focused on men and the manual that I have devised in my head, mainly because I am delusional and OCD (not really).  The fact is that I think I know something about women because I have been working, living, interacting and loving a lot of women all my life.  But this is not about me, this is about helping men understand some of the basic principles...

I am still working on how to entice men into reading my BLOG, hence the second title "Women and Men".  This is the start to the manual that I have the nerve to want to write in service to men and in gratitude to all the women in my life and those who have passed through my life.  Without boring all of you any further I will continue my quest to and continue to try my hand at this. My last BLOG started with the concept of the "first date".  I wanted to share some of the things that I women have shared with me about their first dates, some of which have been described as if they were a bad nightmare and others as "at most uneventful".  Surprisingly, if men would be willing to ask women more questions they would likely learn some things that would increase their chances of finding the woman they are dreaming about.  With that said I want to continue to talk about that first date because as many of us have experienced, if you screw that up it results in not ...

I guess I should start by explaining the title of this blog, not because I think it's complicated but because I would like others to know where this series of blogs will be focused.  I am in Naples Florida and just getting back from hanging out with my friend and her good friend by the ocean, having some drinks and watching the beautiful sunset.  Part of my conversation with my friends friend was about how men seem to be less than conscious about how to approach, be with and treat a woman.  I brought up the first date scenario to which she supported my idea of writing a manual for men.  This book would be entitled, "How to Be with Women, take it from me,  a gay guy".  I have always wanted to write this manual and so here is the start of my dream book, a manual for men on how to connect with women.  I know that there will be people who believe that I have a lot of nerve thinking that I know that much about women that I could help men interact effectivel...