Coach Elliott

A few days ago I was told I would need another operation for two hernias on my abdomen.  To make matters more severe my insurance may be cancelled at the rate that I am paying now to possibly double or more.  I must now work fast at getting a CAT scan of the area and getting the date set for the operation.  The doctor is saying is it serious and all I could think to myself was "isn't every operation serious?"  In my mind I listened and pondered  the question: "Is this bad news?" and what came up for me was that life will hand me as many situations as I need to address and that this was one more.  For me every single one is a test of my faith.  As casual as it might seem I could not allow it to keep me from continuing on my journey that includes moving, financing a home, arranging to pack, arranging a mover and possibly a storage unit topped by a divorce.  Then as life would have it, a good friend is diagnosed with a serious illness. Bad news is ...

The only thing that may be cause for pause in life is that what comes around goes around and life is based on cause and effect.  What we do here on this earth we pay for on earth is how my grandmother use to put it.  Plain and simple we get back what we put out into the universe and if what we put out is unkind then that is what we will get back.  In Buddhism the law of cause and effect tells us that what we do will have an outcome based on what we do.  If we do good it will result in good and if we don't it will cause a bad result.  It is just how life is. I am saddened when I think of how many people in the world don't understand or live by the premise that what they do to others will come to get them later.  I am more saddened at the fact that some do things in this world that are absolutely cruel and upsetting to others peace and serenity.  There are many non-believers, people who don't believe that what they do will eventually have a consequence...

I was chatting with a friend on the phone yesterday and he shared something I have heard from others, he stated: "People I have been with did not get me".  When I asked him to elaborate about what that meant to him he said: Someone who can finish my sentences because they take the time to sense what I am leading to. Someone who cares about my feelings and beliefs. Someone who takes that time to know me more in depth. Someone who is responsive to my needs without me having to tell him all the time. There seems to be a theme around someone else getting us.  I believe that what this really mean is someone who understands and embraces you for who you are.  Someone who takes the time to hear you and get what you are saying as important and valuable.  Someone who "gets you" does not need a lot of explanation about how you feel.  A person who gets us needs little explanation and we are able to meet their needs with ease and grace.  There is not a pulling fa...

So muny times we are in this situation of deciding whether to stay or not stay in a relationship?  Should we go or should we stay?  There are some key questions that we must ask before we jump into ending the relationship. Here are some of them: 1.  Am I over-reacting to the behavior on the part of my partner? 2. Is this really about me and something I need to change in myself? 3. Am I not being felxible enough in this relationship? 4. Is there something I could be doing differently and better? 5. Do I tend to give up easily in relaitonship? 6. Will I take who I am in this relationship, take it with me and create another one just like it? 7. Have I been honest and asked for what I need? 8. What is the trigger or triggers in my relaitonship with this person? Is it from the past? 9. Am I being unreasonable and selfish, not giving in when I should? 10. Will I really be happier without this person in my life?  Can I just live with his or her personality trai...

There are some obvious ways to address anxiety or restlessness and then there are some that are not so obvious.  In this blog tonight I would like to share some sure fire ways to lower your anxiety and get yourself into a peaceful state of mind where you feel relaxed and peaceful.  With that said let's look at the anti-anxiety list: 1. Play with children 2. Dance 3. Turn off the TV/avoid television 4. Listen to soothing music 5. Be silent and write 6. Exercise at a fast pace 7. Ask for intimacy from your partner 8. Consult with your doctor when it is serious or persists 9. Go for a walk in nature 10. Meditate or Pray 11. Talk it out with someone or a counselor 12. Cut out sugar from your diet 13. Take a day off from everything that is stressful: job or at home 14. Take some deep purposeful breaths 15. Take a nap 16. Create or make something with your hands 17. List the reasons you feel anxious or nervous.  Review your list and decide what is valid or not...

I had a person in my life who introduced himself and his family as the "Leave it to Beaver" family.  I recall vividly this sitcom as a child and wishing I was the Beaver and that his mom was my mom.  The only problem with his story was that it was a cover up and a lie.  There was nothing Leave it to Beaver about their life. At five this person was assigned a psychiatrist because his father had caught him playing with dolls with the next door neighbors female child.  At about twenty two years of age he tried to commit suicide.  When I started to observe his relationship with his mother I could see clearly how much control she had over him and what he said and did.  She made it a point to know everything.  When he failed he did nto want her to know he failed and at a mentoring group for couples he stated that the thing he feared most was his mother's opinion.  I could easily see that she was behind the scenes constantly making sure she did not loo...

When we are in our inner child we it can quite  possibly be the best emotional state to be in.  There is likely nothing more joyful than a child who is loved, honored, heard and cared about.  We can retrieve that inner child and gift him or her in many loving ways.  We can buy her a doll or we can make her a dress or we can put crayons in her hand and allow her to express her creative side.  We can honor our inner child by behaving like a child.  Freeing ourselves of the adult stresses will find us in love with life because a child is usually a persona inside of us that is either hurting or in need of something.  Loving that little boy or girl is a healing experience but most of all a joyful way to acknowledge ourselves and letting go of the pain or what we feel is missing. I remember my studies at USM when we were taken on a journey back to our little child inside.  We were told to give that child a gift and feel the joy of receiving that gift....