Coach Elliott

There are many messages that lead us to falsely believe that we need to be with someone, married to someone or in love with someone.  In fact some people go so far to believe that if someone is single then something must be wrong with them.  After all if you are of a certain age (usually in your thirties) you should already be married and have two children.  Yet there are many happy people who are single and would like to stay that way.  When one looks at the statistics of divorce it brings us to the obvious conclusion that marriages fail more often than they succeed and that there are many people unhappily married to someone they don't like.  Add to this the amount of abuse in relationships we have some good reasons not to be a part of the system that promotes happy relationships, when the truth is that many, if not most, are not. Those of us who are single and not committed to anyone know that there is an art to becoming a happy single person who not only ac...

I am the very first person to look up at the heavens, shake my head and ask: "Really, God, really?" I cannot count the times when I have thought that the rough times were over and that it could not get worse or that nothing else could possibly happen, when suddenly it does.  Not only do I ask God why I also have to regroup and admit that my life is not as cool as I would like it to be, every dam day!  Yet through it all I must say that every single event in my life that has challenged me has taught to produce that ultimate lemonade.  By the way the best frozen lemonade is sold at Trader Joe's, FYI, LOL, OMG and WTF.  Who knew. Those of you who are aware of what I have undergone and overcome would call me a survivor and my own lovely daughters use terms like: "warrior" and "courageous soldier".  I am still not completely comfortable with any of these descriptors but have attempted to embrace the idea that with God's and Goddesses help I have survi...

I admit that one of my guilty pleasures is watching Dateline, a show that focuses on murderers and the many ways people end up killing.  What intrigues me the most is that the majority of the time some family member is the killer.  A man kills his wife and children and a woman poisons her husband with anti-freeze and a daughter kills both her mother and father because they apposed to her relationship with a man who was older.  For me a child who kills her own parents is fascinating and I want to understand why.  Why would a teen female be able to justify killing her parents? Sara killed both her parents because she could not get her way and date a guy who was an adult and she was under age.  Her parents were ones who gave her everything she wanted and she had a history of having tantrums and getting her way.  Her parents often did exactly what she wanted in order to have peace in the home and she became use to that.  So when she found her boyfriend a...

1.  Be a gentleman 2.  Access your inner feminine  3.  Be sensitive and kind  4.  Respect and honor her  5.  Be self-caring  I started this blog with a list intentionally.  I wanted men who read this to know immediately that these five things are what women are looking for.  When I say score I don't mean physically but rather in a way that is more meaningful: emotionally.  Women want men who treat them like a lady, can show their feminine side, do kind things, respect her and be a man who takes care of himself.  Here's why: Women like men who treat them like a lady.  A man who opens their doors and brings a flower on a date elicits a positive response because they feel special and honored by a man when he does things that are cavalier.  When a man is a gentleman he places a woman's needs before his own and women want to feel that special vibe. When a man can cry he is in touch with his inner feminine pa...

There is likely not one realistic person who would not like to be more positive and feel good more often.  For some it seems as though being upbeat is natural yet many people are just good at pretending as though everything is perfectly fine.  For others being positive is difficult because they were raised in a negative thinking environment where everything was looked at with a form of darkness and suspicion.  Then there are those who have gone through so many difficult situations that being joyful and thinking good thoughts has become the hardest thing for them to accomplish. Alexandra grows up being abused, loses her sister to suicide, struggled with her sexual identity, gets two life threatening illnesses and then gets abandoned by her spouse; life is a bit more challenging than a person who has not undergone these difficult situations and in fact things have been great for them.  It is harder for a person to think positive and find their joy when they have had ...

Meditation is an very old practise and is a way for us to regroup and reboot before we go out into the world that is often times filled with stressful experiences.  It is a way to silence ourselves and receive the guidance we need to make some difficult decisions and face some hard situations.  Life is not all joy and when we come to a place where things are getting tough the best thing to do is to quiet the mind and take the time to silence the world and all of the chatter inside of us. So, what does meditation do for you? By quieting your mind you give yourself a chance to become calm and centered for the day.  Taking a few minutes of silence is a helpful way to start the day with a clearer mind and and open heart.  Meditation is simply a way to start your day in a way that honors you and that creates a self-understanding that you are important and so is your source: God, Buddha, Angels, Higher Being or Inner guide. Meditation gives us the chance to open...

Undercover abuse is what some consider to be subtle abuse, the kind one cannot immediately identify as abuse.  Undercover abuse often times includes off center jokes and bullying.  There are many types of underhanded abusive approaches that include competing and jealousy.  Although most of us can identify overt abusive people it is hard to see some more underhanded abuse as abuse.  Mainly because it is so tricky and so well executed.  People who practise undercover abuse are ones who learned it early in life because they were not given permission to say what was on their mind.  Many men are what we call passive aggressive because when they were little they were not afforded an opinion.  Occasionally people say dumb things and may not know that it hurt someone who they said it to, but most of the time abusers are intentional in their criticism, jealousy and competitive nature.  These are some forms of what I have coined as "undercover abuse": Jea...