Kids Who Kill Their Parents
I admit that one of my guilty pleasures is watching Dateline, a show that focuses on murderers and the many ways people end up killing. What intrigues me the most is that the majority of the time some family member is the killer. A man kills his wife and children and a woman poisons her husband with anti-freeze and a daughter kills both her mother and father because they apposed to her relationship with a man who was older. For me a child who kills her own parents is fascinating and I want to understand why. Why would a teen female be able to justify killing her parents?
Sara killed both her parents because she could not get her way and date a guy who was an adult and she was under age. Her parents were ones who gave her everything she wanted and she had a history of having tantrums and getting her way. Her parents often did exactly what she wanted in order to have peace in the home and she became use to that. So when she found her boyfriend and they did not approve she immediately lost it. The fact that her parents gave her what she wanted and let her have her way set them up for what one would think is not possible, their death at her hands. Like many upper class white families Sara was given all that she needed and most of what she wanted. She rarely if ever had to settle or her parents deny her anything. Like many privileged children she became very angry when she could not have her way. Her parents did not know it but they set themselves up.
We live in what I call an instant society. We eat at McDonald's and Wendy's and we hurry through the drive throughs to get coffee on the way to work. We like getting what we want when we want it and to get it fast, at times very fast. Our children are use to being given what they want and getting it quickly. As a result we have a lot of overweight children and ones that would do anything to get what they want and get it now. Unfortunately we get our children use to getting what they like when they want it and in some ways we set ourselves up for them to become selfish and not very empathetic or appreciative. It does not help that when parents can afford it they give their children too much of everything. This makes for adults who are super detached and who cannot show up for others when someone in need is in their space. Although not all children kill their parents many of them insult their parents or disrespect them or steal from them.
We reap what we sew as we have often heard. We cannot expect to see more men become sensitive and nurturing human beings when we are doing everything for them and they believe they deserve it all. We raise children who don't appreciate the simple things in life and they don't learn to earn what they have in life. When we look around us we see the array of human beings who are emotionally checked out and who could care less about anyone else's pain and suffering. We may be surprised when a child kills a father or mother yet we do so little to change this entitled attitude we raise our children with. For the girl who killed both of her parents over their disapproval of a relationship one has to wonder where we are headed.
What is the answer? I believe that the answer is in how we raise our children. We must teach them to serve and to earn the special things they get. We must ask them to show up emotionally and help in the home, doing their part. When we communicate with our children it should not just be during the times they make mistakes but on an ongoing basis. We must teach them that what matters in life is love, connection, spiritual beliefs and family. We need to ensure that our children know how to respect and honor others and that what they feel matters to us. When we pose a situation with a very black and white mode with no rebuttal for them then we set ourselves up. We must let children know that love is the answer and that they can speak without fear. We may never see a time when children do not hurt their parents but we can do all that we can to engage them and to share what it truly important in life: love.
Sara killed both her parents because she could not get her way and date a guy who was an adult and she was under age. Her parents were ones who gave her everything she wanted and she had a history of having tantrums and getting her way. Her parents often did exactly what she wanted in order to have peace in the home and she became use to that. So when she found her boyfriend and they did not approve she immediately lost it. The fact that her parents gave her what she wanted and let her have her way set them up for what one would think is not possible, their death at her hands. Like many upper class white families Sara was given all that she needed and most of what she wanted. She rarely if ever had to settle or her parents deny her anything. Like many privileged children she became very angry when she could not have her way. Her parents did not know it but they set themselves up.
We live in what I call an instant society. We eat at McDonald's and Wendy's and we hurry through the drive throughs to get coffee on the way to work. We like getting what we want when we want it and to get it fast, at times very fast. Our children are use to being given what they want and getting it quickly. As a result we have a lot of overweight children and ones that would do anything to get what they want and get it now. Unfortunately we get our children use to getting what they like when they want it and in some ways we set ourselves up for them to become selfish and not very empathetic or appreciative. It does not help that when parents can afford it they give their children too much of everything. This makes for adults who are super detached and who cannot show up for others when someone in need is in their space. Although not all children kill their parents many of them insult their parents or disrespect them or steal from them.
We reap what we sew as we have often heard. We cannot expect to see more men become sensitive and nurturing human beings when we are doing everything for them and they believe they deserve it all. We raise children who don't appreciate the simple things in life and they don't learn to earn what they have in life. When we look around us we see the array of human beings who are emotionally checked out and who could care less about anyone else's pain and suffering. We may be surprised when a child kills a father or mother yet we do so little to change this entitled attitude we raise our children with. For the girl who killed both of her parents over their disapproval of a relationship one has to wonder where we are headed.
What is the answer? I believe that the answer is in how we raise our children. We must teach them to serve and to earn the special things they get. We must ask them to show up emotionally and help in the home, doing their part. When we communicate with our children it should not just be during the times they make mistakes but on an ongoing basis. We must teach them that what matters in life is love, connection, spiritual beliefs and family. We need to ensure that our children know how to respect and honor others and that what they feel matters to us. When we pose a situation with a very black and white mode with no rebuttal for them then we set ourselves up. We must let children know that love is the answer and that they can speak without fear. We may never see a time when children do not hurt their parents but we can do all that we can to engage them and to share what it truly important in life: love.
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