Becoming More Positive
There is likely not one realistic person who would not like to be more positive and feel good more often. For some it seems as though being upbeat is natural yet many people are just good at pretending as though everything is perfectly fine. For others being positive is difficult because they were raised in a negative thinking environment where everything was looked at with a form of darkness and suspicion. Then there are those who have gone through so many difficult situations that being joyful and thinking good thoughts has become the hardest thing for them to accomplish.
Alexandra grows up being abused, loses her sister to suicide, struggled with her sexual identity, gets two life threatening illnesses and then gets abandoned by her spouse; life is a bit more challenging than a person who has not undergone these difficult situations and in fact things have been great for them. It is harder for a person to think positive and find their joy when they have had to deal with so much. It is unfair for us to expect a person who has been through so much to be positive yet we have so little compassion for them. Those of us who have been raised with everything at our fingertips and the love we needed from our parents as well as all the material things available have a hard time understanding the struggles of those who are depressed from all that they have endured.
There is a way to become more positive but we must first understand that we may be a person who will struggle with sadness and negative feelings because of our past pain and experiences. It will take daily work and a concerted effort for many people who have experienced a lot of painful circumstances. How then do we address our past and move into our positive thinking and joyful self? Here are some ways to do just that:
1. Dress for success:
Do your best to dress in a way that enhances you and that expresses a positive feeling inside of you. Even though it is hard to do this when you are not feeling it doing our best to look good will send a message to our unconscious self that we are OK at that at the very least you are ready to begin your day in a positive way.
2. Have a mantra
Recite a mantra that you repeat when negative thoughts rise up. It could be as simple as "delete, delete" or "that is not my truth". Having a mantra is a tool that will help you to combat negative thoughts and feelings. Although you may not always want to delete the feeling there will be times when this is that best thing you can do for yourself.
3. Identify the trigger:
When a negative feeling comes up asking ourselves why we are feeling it can help us to understand the trigger-the reason why the feeling has come up. By identifying the trigger you can immediately understand why you start to go into the negative zone. By knowing the trigger you can stop yourself from going deeper into the negative thinking and stop yourself from going into a spin before it starts.
4. Do something, anything:
When you start to feel negative feelings doing something quickly like going for a walk or exercising can be very helpful in bringing you back to a place where you feel better. Sitting and doing nothing often times just tells your spirit that you are helpless and that you just have to accept it. Getting up and around tells your spirit that you are not going to sit and take it.
5. Read something positive:
When I was doing deep self work I started by going to a book store to find a book that would help me to heal. Before I walked into the store I asked God to lead me to the book that would speak to me and help me to heal the hurt parts inside. I was lead to the perfect book and every book after that came to me either through another person or in the same manner. Reading self-help books helped me to heal the many parts of me that needed to be healed. It helped me to stay positive and it will do the same for you. Start reading books that will nourish you even if they are not self-help books but books that are going to bring joy to your mind. By reading positive texts we lift ourselves up and begin a journey to a more positive life.
The five suggestions on how to become more positive are a few ways that we can life ourselves from a negative place to more joyful place we deserve to experience daily. I would like to encourage all of you to take a 21 day challenge and follow the five steps. Making a commitment to your joy is the very first step to your recovery. Rising up from the darkness to the light is a choice and frankly it is work. If we are willing to to do the work we will heal from what has challenged us to think positive. When we address our negative feelings we give ourselves permission to be the happiest we can be.
Alexandra grows up being abused, loses her sister to suicide, struggled with her sexual identity, gets two life threatening illnesses and then gets abandoned by her spouse; life is a bit more challenging than a person who has not undergone these difficult situations and in fact things have been great for them. It is harder for a person to think positive and find their joy when they have had to deal with so much. It is unfair for us to expect a person who has been through so much to be positive yet we have so little compassion for them. Those of us who have been raised with everything at our fingertips and the love we needed from our parents as well as all the material things available have a hard time understanding the struggles of those who are depressed from all that they have endured.
There is a way to become more positive but we must first understand that we may be a person who will struggle with sadness and negative feelings because of our past pain and experiences. It will take daily work and a concerted effort for many people who have experienced a lot of painful circumstances. How then do we address our past and move into our positive thinking and joyful self? Here are some ways to do just that:
1. Dress for success:
Do your best to dress in a way that enhances you and that expresses a positive feeling inside of you. Even though it is hard to do this when you are not feeling it doing our best to look good will send a message to our unconscious self that we are OK at that at the very least you are ready to begin your day in a positive way.
2. Have a mantra
Recite a mantra that you repeat when negative thoughts rise up. It could be as simple as "delete, delete" or "that is not my truth". Having a mantra is a tool that will help you to combat negative thoughts and feelings. Although you may not always want to delete the feeling there will be times when this is that best thing you can do for yourself.
3. Identify the trigger:
When a negative feeling comes up asking ourselves why we are feeling it can help us to understand the trigger-the reason why the feeling has come up. By identifying the trigger you can immediately understand why you start to go into the negative zone. By knowing the trigger you can stop yourself from going deeper into the negative thinking and stop yourself from going into a spin before it starts.
4. Do something, anything:
When you start to feel negative feelings doing something quickly like going for a walk or exercising can be very helpful in bringing you back to a place where you feel better. Sitting and doing nothing often times just tells your spirit that you are helpless and that you just have to accept it. Getting up and around tells your spirit that you are not going to sit and take it.
5. Read something positive:
When I was doing deep self work I started by going to a book store to find a book that would help me to heal. Before I walked into the store I asked God to lead me to the book that would speak to me and help me to heal the hurt parts inside. I was lead to the perfect book and every book after that came to me either through another person or in the same manner. Reading self-help books helped me to heal the many parts of me that needed to be healed. It helped me to stay positive and it will do the same for you. Start reading books that will nourish you even if they are not self-help books but books that are going to bring joy to your mind. By reading positive texts we lift ourselves up and begin a journey to a more positive life.
The five suggestions on how to become more positive are a few ways that we can life ourselves from a negative place to more joyful place we deserve to experience daily. I would like to encourage all of you to take a 21 day challenge and follow the five steps. Making a commitment to your joy is the very first step to your recovery. Rising up from the darkness to the light is a choice and frankly it is work. If we are willing to to do the work we will heal from what has challenged us to think positive. When we address our negative feelings we give ourselves permission to be the happiest we can be.
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