Coach Elliott

Although it may be obvious to some ending abuse against women likes in large part with men.  While it is usually men who abuse a woman and even end up killing them, men who are standing by doing nothing must begin to take on some responsibility and stand up for women's causes, not just when they are being abused but all the time.  I may get some backlash for saying it but as a man I feel badly that other men are doing the kinds of things against women that have become so large that we now have a commercial on TV where people are saying "enough".  I have felt like it was enough when my mother was being abused by my dad.  I knew it was enough when my wife's best friend was beat up by her boyfriend forty years ago.  I feel as though I knew it was enough many years ago and although I have attempted to volunteer in a woman's shelter I have not been met with much zest.  I totally understand why and yet in my heart I know that the solution is in us as men.  W...

These days my response to people who introduce me to their spouse is "I am happily single".  I try to let others know that not only can a single man of 62 be happy, he can be very happy.  Of course there are ways that one can cultivate ones own relationship with yourself and these are some of them: 1. Go out alone:  Don't be afraid to do things by yourself.  When you are single there will be times when no one is available to go out with and so one has to get use to going it alone.  Go out to dinner alone, go to the movies, check out the latest art exhibit at the Art Institute and take advantage of the free stuff in Universities near you.  Going out alone can be just as fun as being with friends and after a while you will find that there are times you would rather be alone.  I for one have taken most of my vacations solo and had a complete blast. 2. Love yourself and your body:  When we are single it is an ideal situation for working out and ...

Men often time scare women immediately simply because they get too excited too soon and too fast.  What men often forget is that the woman species is much more beautiful than the bird species where often times males are prettier and fancier.  Women do not like pretty men who are into them selves and often times have shared that a man they met was "too pretty".  Other women have become irritated by men who just do not know what it means to be a gentleman least of all be one.  Men forget that women think with their heads and hearts while men often times are led by physical urges some might admit, "their penis".  Steve Harvey is one of the few men who have it right and that is to "think like a woman".  Here are some sure ways to score whether it is a second date or an eventual relationship that is healthy: 1. Be a gentleman-walk behind her:  2. Be a friend  3. Be interested not interesting  4. Be authentic  5. Be Slow Intentional with...

I depend on my daughters to give me my occasional reality check.  Often times I will tell a joke and they will laugh but when it's not funny they look me straight in the eye and say something like: "Dad, not that funny" as they do the cut the neck signal.  There is nothing superficial about our relationship, at least not most of the time.  Yet what I know about myself is that there was a time when I was all about being on the surface, not going too deep and looking in the mirror too many times before I left for the party.  There was even a time when I lived on LSD and drove a Mercedes then a BMW because at the time nothing was as important as my image.  Superficial?  Oh, you think so?  Yet for me it was these experiences that have taught me that nothing is more powerful than living an authentic life and surrounding myself with real friends.  Still faulty friends are everywhere and superficial people are likely in the majority. We are human and...

I think that many of us are living in an illusion about friendship and what that truly means.  We often times confuse people we spend time with or work with as friends when in fact they are anything but.  In fact we can know people for years and never break through the line that crosses from just knowing them and actually having an emotionally intimate relationship with them. Knowing the difference between an acquaintance and a friend helps us to avoid feelings of abandonment and feelings of hurt. In the end we cannot be friends with everyone and here's why: 1.  Emotional Intimacy: When there is not emotional intimacy or connection there is not true friendship.  Friends share deep emotions not just joyful and happy go lucky times together.  Friends feel love for one another and they have emotion behind those feelings of love.  When relationships between two people lack intimacy: closeness, then it is truly disconnected and likely not someone who is a fri...

Although it may seem like everyone else is happier than you are the fact is that all of us experience the blues.  Today I had a dream about my 7 year old granddaughter and in the dream we were in my car headed to meet her mom and dad at a restaurant.  Just when I arrived at the strip mall where it was located she decided to open the door and got out of the car claiming she would walk the rest of the way.  That is where the nightmare started because now for some reason I could not find the place, my daughter and son in law or her.  As I struggled with the fact that someone could have taken her I became completely undone.  Flashes passed through my mind about how her parents would be devastated and I would surely not be able to explain this in a way where I'd not be in deep trouble.  Suddenly I woke up feeling a deep sadness.  I knew that this dream had shifted my feeling in a way that needed attention: what I call an application of love; which leads me ...

I have learned as the years of my life have added up that a true friend is hard to find.  I have also understood that some people have a difficult time being authentic and loyal.  For many their word is not their contract in life and what I understand to be my truth is that I cannot allow anyone to be in my life that is not in touch with their emotional self and hence unable to be a valuable friend, not just to me but to anyone.  This world is filled with humans who live on the surface and fearful of commitment because they feel as though it is too much work to show up for others, especially outside their immediate family.  We all have family members and friends who cannot or are not willing to make the time for us or who are unwilling to make the effort.  For this very reason it is good to evaluate the five important aspects of true friendship and a truly good friend and these are those traits of a true friend: 1.  A real friends takes the time, makes th...