The Solution Lies In Men
Although it may be obvious to some ending abuse against women likes in large part with men. While it is usually men who abuse a woman and even end up killing them, men who are standing by doing nothing must begin to take on some responsibility and stand up for women's causes, not just when they are being abused but all the time. I may get some backlash for saying it but as a man I feel badly that other men are doing the kinds of things against women that have become so large that we now have a commercial on TV where people are saying "enough". I have felt like it was enough when my mother was being abused by my dad. I knew it was enough when my wife's best friend was beat up by her boyfriend forty years ago. I feel as though I knew it was enough many years ago and although I have attempted to volunteer in a woman's shelter I have not been met with much zest. I totally understand why and yet in my heart I know that the solution is in us as men. We are the ones who need to stand up and when we even suspect it we risk all that we can to help a woman who is being bullied or abused, either verbally or physically.
This is what I think is part of the solution to abuse against women:
1. Every man should make a self-pledge that we will never see abuse and ignore it, in fact that we will do something no matter how small.
2. Every father should sit with their son/s and talk about respecting women and girls and what that means, specifying ways that they can honor girls every day.
3. Every man who knows another man who has bullied their partners should talk to that man and share that what they are doing is not acceptable and offer to help him get the help he needs.
4. Police officers should be trained not to ask questions that are tainted with blame and give the impression that women who are abused have done something wrong. A woman should never be asked to sign a document stating that they feel safe after contacting police about abuse by a spouse or partner.
5. When a woman contacts police about abuse the abuser should at minimum be asked to leave and she should be referred to a local agency that can be of help.
6. Men should call a march in Washington protesting abuse towards women and asking for more funding to assist women who are abused.
7. Men should declare themselves women's advocates publicly and privately, honoring women's causes and making certain that laws be established that protects women from abuse and heighten penalties for men who abuse women.
8. Men should put themselves in women's shoes literally: high heels, dresses and makeup. It would be good for men to understand the pressure females feel to look pretty and moreover the work and effort. And then they should be made to feel what it is like to carry a child for nine months.
9. Men should always speak up for women doing the same job for less pay. They should literally walk into the superiors office and support any woman being discriminated against by getting less money for the same job.
10. The system of education should have a life curriculum that includes male roles, the issues women are facing, how to work with women as equals and that it is up to them to put a stop to violence against women. Girls should feel safe to talk about how it feels to know that women are being violated and disrespected. As a former teacher I know that topics like this were simply not discussed in any detail including: gay families, violence against women, violence against Blacks or gays, the Holocaust and other hot topics. It felt as though it was all too complicated to address in school. We are still reading books about pilots who are boys and girls who are nurses. We must make is more clear that males and females are equals.
To be continued:
This is what I think is part of the solution to abuse against women:
1. Every man should make a self-pledge that we will never see abuse and ignore it, in fact that we will do something no matter how small.
2. Every father should sit with their son/s and talk about respecting women and girls and what that means, specifying ways that they can honor girls every day.
3. Every man who knows another man who has bullied their partners should talk to that man and share that what they are doing is not acceptable and offer to help him get the help he needs.
4. Police officers should be trained not to ask questions that are tainted with blame and give the impression that women who are abused have done something wrong. A woman should never be asked to sign a document stating that they feel safe after contacting police about abuse by a spouse or partner.
5. When a woman contacts police about abuse the abuser should at minimum be asked to leave and she should be referred to a local agency that can be of help.
6. Men should call a march in Washington protesting abuse towards women and asking for more funding to assist women who are abused.
7. Men should declare themselves women's advocates publicly and privately, honoring women's causes and making certain that laws be established that protects women from abuse and heighten penalties for men who abuse women.
8. Men should put themselves in women's shoes literally: high heels, dresses and makeup. It would be good for men to understand the pressure females feel to look pretty and moreover the work and effort. And then they should be made to feel what it is like to carry a child for nine months.
9. Men should always speak up for women doing the same job for less pay. They should literally walk into the superiors office and support any woman being discriminated against by getting less money for the same job.
10. The system of education should have a life curriculum that includes male roles, the issues women are facing, how to work with women as equals and that it is up to them to put a stop to violence against women. Girls should feel safe to talk about how it feels to know that women are being violated and disrespected. As a former teacher I know that topics like this were simply not discussed in any detail including: gay families, violence against women, violence against Blacks or gays, the Holocaust and other hot topics. It felt as though it was all too complicated to address in school. We are still reading books about pilots who are boys and girls who are nurses. We must make is more clear that males and females are equals.
To be continued:
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