Five Traits Of A Real Friend
I have learned as the years of my life have added up that a true friend is hard to find. I have also understood that some people have a difficult time being authentic and loyal. For many their word is not their contract in life and what I understand to be my truth is that I cannot allow anyone to be in my life that is not in touch with their emotional self and hence unable to be a valuable friend, not just to me but to anyone. This world is filled with humans who live on the surface and fearful of commitment because they feel as though it is too much work to show up for others, especially outside their immediate family. We all have family members and friends who cannot or are not willing to make the time for us or who are unwilling to make the effort. For this very reason it is good to evaluate the five important aspects of true friendship and a truly good friend and these are those traits of a true friend:
1. A real friends takes the time, makes the time and is willing to make an effort:
A person who says they are your friend makes time for you and spend some time with you. He or she is willing to make an effort on their part and do not just wait for you to connect with you. They make time for you no matter what they have going on in their life and eventually intentionally reaches out to you to make certain there is a flow between you.
2. A real friend shows up when you need them and when you don't:
When times are tough a real friend shows up for you by visiting you and ensuring that you are OK. They call when you need them to and many times intuitively know there is something going on and calls you. A really good friend shows up even when you don't need them but want them to show up for you on special occasions like a birthday or child birth. Real friends are there for you in good times and in bad times.
3. A real friend maintains a consistent connection with you and is responsive:
Good friends connect with us randomly just to ask how we are doing. They are responsive when we reach out and check on them. They take responsibility for part of the connection and find it important to make that connection no matter what because in their eyes this is important to them and you are important to them.
4. A real friend communicates deeply not just on the surface:
Communication is likely a skill that many have not quite mastered. I admit that on occasion I could be lost for words but never when it comes to a friend. A truly good friend is a great communicator and keeps the dialog open and frequent with the people they love. It is hard to claim that we are good communicators when we don't bother to call a friend for months and sometimes years. It is always interesting to see how many people deem themselves a friend who rarely communicate with others they say are their friends. A friend does not just communicate but they can share deep feelings with a sense of trust and a sense of caring.
5. A real friend is willing to be inconvenienced:
It is not always easy to be a good friend. It is not always convenient and when we believe this we are headed for some false beliefs. A friend is a friend even when at times it will hurt or feel uncomfortable. Loyalty is a big part of this and if we are real friends with others we don't mind the inconveniences when they happen.
Friendship is a responsibility and when we are friends with others it takes intention and purpose to nurture what is important. Friends stay together when the going gets rough and it is not always easy and simple. In fact at times it will be complicated and emotionally painful. It is a willingness to love that makes a difference and that adds meaning to life.
1. A real friends takes the time, makes the time and is willing to make an effort:
A person who says they are your friend makes time for you and spend some time with you. He or she is willing to make an effort on their part and do not just wait for you to connect with you. They make time for you no matter what they have going on in their life and eventually intentionally reaches out to you to make certain there is a flow between you.
2. A real friend shows up when you need them and when you don't:
When times are tough a real friend shows up for you by visiting you and ensuring that you are OK. They call when you need them to and many times intuitively know there is something going on and calls you. A really good friend shows up even when you don't need them but want them to show up for you on special occasions like a birthday or child birth. Real friends are there for you in good times and in bad times.
3. A real friend maintains a consistent connection with you and is responsive:
Good friends connect with us randomly just to ask how we are doing. They are responsive when we reach out and check on them. They take responsibility for part of the connection and find it important to make that connection no matter what because in their eyes this is important to them and you are important to them.
4. A real friend communicates deeply not just on the surface:
Communication is likely a skill that many have not quite mastered. I admit that on occasion I could be lost for words but never when it comes to a friend. A truly good friend is a great communicator and keeps the dialog open and frequent with the people they love. It is hard to claim that we are good communicators when we don't bother to call a friend for months and sometimes years. It is always interesting to see how many people deem themselves a friend who rarely communicate with others they say are their friends. A friend does not just communicate but they can share deep feelings with a sense of trust and a sense of caring.
5. A real friend is willing to be inconvenienced:
It is not always easy to be a good friend. It is not always convenient and when we believe this we are headed for some false beliefs. A friend is a friend even when at times it will hurt or feel uncomfortable. Loyalty is a big part of this and if we are real friends with others we don't mind the inconveniences when they happen.
Friendship is a responsibility and when we are friends with others it takes intention and purpose to nurture what is important. Friends stay together when the going gets rough and it is not always easy and simple. In fact at times it will be complicated and emotionally painful. It is a willingness to love that makes a difference and that adds meaning to life.
Great Topic for all of us who are evaluating friendships
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