Friend or Acquaintance? 5 Signs
I think that many of us are living in an illusion about friendship and what that truly means. We often times confuse people we spend time with or work with as friends when in fact they are anything but. In fact we can know people for years and never break through the line that crosses from just knowing them and actually having an emotionally intimate relationship with them. Knowing the difference between an acquaintance and a friend helps us to avoid feelings of abandonment and feelings of hurt. In the end we cannot be friends with everyone and here's why:
1. Emotional Intimacy:
When there is not emotional intimacy or connection there is not true friendship. Friends share deep emotions not just joyful and happy go lucky times together. Friends feel love for one another and they have emotion behind those feelings of love. When relationships between two people lack intimacy: closeness, then it is truly disconnected and likely not someone who is a friend. Emotion and people go together in a way that is natural if in fact they are people who like one another.
2. Commitment and Time:
Friends make time for each other. They make a commitment to see one another every few weeks and spend some quality time doing things together. They call each other and make that connection, checking in to ensure that they are doing OK. Friends do not suddenly call a person they call a friend after a year of not talking to them or making any type of love connection with them. A friend is committed while an acquaintance is aloof and rarely goes beyond the surface of his or her feelings. Unlike a person one simply knows at work, a friend goes beyond the workplace and establishes a real relationship with deep feelings.
3. Responsibility:
Being responsible and holding yourself accountable in a relationship is a sign of real friendship. Not wanting to take on any responsibility is on the other hand a sign that someone is not worth it. When someone in your life is worthy of your friendship you don't mind taking responsibility when it comes to making contact and being consistently there. What we know about people is that they like to stay on the surface so that they will not be held accountable ever and because they are not capable of truly being an anchor for another person they claim to love. Although there are exceptions to the rule more often than not someone who does not take responsibility by being accountable is just an acquaintance.
4. In Sickness And In Health:
I love this saying often used in marriage ceremonies while on the other hand I know that many people run when the going gets tough and when their spouse becomes ill. Unfortunately I know this firsthand. What we know about humankind is that when the going gets tough, many times, the tough get going. Someone who is truly a friend is someone who sticks by you in sickness and no matter how bad you look. A friend will not only be there when you are sick they will take some compassionate action steps that will serve you. An acquaintance may contact you on the phone and wish you well but a friend will drop what they are doing and come to your aid.
5. Forgiveness:
A key element of friendship is the willingness for us to forgive. When someone loves us, shows emotional, takes responsibility and sticks by you when you are ill they also are forgiving souls. A good friend knows that you will make mistakes and are willing to overlook some of your mistakes because their love for you is deeper than a casual acquaintance. Forgiveness is truly one of the acts of love that can only be a part of a strong, solid, sincere and honest friendship with someone who has a history with you. Dismissing someone because they make a mistake is a sign that this is not an authentic and true friendship.
I like to think that I am a good friend but what I have found out is that I am likely much more attentive than others. I spend a lot of time and thought on others I deem to love. I have also had to curtail this and understand that not everyone is a friend and that even people I have known for years are completely disconnected, not just to me, but overall. It is just how they operate. Letting go of these people one by one can be a challenge and feel sad but when we let go of them with love and being our new journey we make room for the truth. Looking at the people we deem friends and evaluating each one as truthfully as we can is our constant journey. Letting go of the past is the best thing we can do for our spirit because holding on to people is in a word "unhealthy". Where and with whom in your life is there a need to just release them and move on? The sooner you do this in a loving manner the better off you will be. Loving yourself truly means knowing which are the people in your life who really love you.
1. Emotional Intimacy:
When there is not emotional intimacy or connection there is not true friendship. Friends share deep emotions not just joyful and happy go lucky times together. Friends feel love for one another and they have emotion behind those feelings of love. When relationships between two people lack intimacy: closeness, then it is truly disconnected and likely not someone who is a friend. Emotion and people go together in a way that is natural if in fact they are people who like one another.
2. Commitment and Time:
Friends make time for each other. They make a commitment to see one another every few weeks and spend some quality time doing things together. They call each other and make that connection, checking in to ensure that they are doing OK. Friends do not suddenly call a person they call a friend after a year of not talking to them or making any type of love connection with them. A friend is committed while an acquaintance is aloof and rarely goes beyond the surface of his or her feelings. Unlike a person one simply knows at work, a friend goes beyond the workplace and establishes a real relationship with deep feelings.
3. Responsibility:
Being responsible and holding yourself accountable in a relationship is a sign of real friendship. Not wanting to take on any responsibility is on the other hand a sign that someone is not worth it. When someone in your life is worthy of your friendship you don't mind taking responsibility when it comes to making contact and being consistently there. What we know about people is that they like to stay on the surface so that they will not be held accountable ever and because they are not capable of truly being an anchor for another person they claim to love. Although there are exceptions to the rule more often than not someone who does not take responsibility by being accountable is just an acquaintance.
4. In Sickness And In Health:
I love this saying often used in marriage ceremonies while on the other hand I know that many people run when the going gets tough and when their spouse becomes ill. Unfortunately I know this firsthand. What we know about humankind is that when the going gets tough, many times, the tough get going. Someone who is truly a friend is someone who sticks by you in sickness and no matter how bad you look. A friend will not only be there when you are sick they will take some compassionate action steps that will serve you. An acquaintance may contact you on the phone and wish you well but a friend will drop what they are doing and come to your aid.
5. Forgiveness:
A key element of friendship is the willingness for us to forgive. When someone loves us, shows emotional, takes responsibility and sticks by you when you are ill they also are forgiving souls. A good friend knows that you will make mistakes and are willing to overlook some of your mistakes because their love for you is deeper than a casual acquaintance. Forgiveness is truly one of the acts of love that can only be a part of a strong, solid, sincere and honest friendship with someone who has a history with you. Dismissing someone because they make a mistake is a sign that this is not an authentic and true friendship.
I like to think that I am a good friend but what I have found out is that I am likely much more attentive than others. I spend a lot of time and thought on others I deem to love. I have also had to curtail this and understand that not everyone is a friend and that even people I have known for years are completely disconnected, not just to me, but overall. It is just how they operate. Letting go of these people one by one can be a challenge and feel sad but when we let go of them with love and being our new journey we make room for the truth. Looking at the people we deem friends and evaluating each one as truthfully as we can is our constant journey. Letting go of the past is the best thing we can do for our spirit because holding on to people is in a word "unhealthy". Where and with whom in your life is there a need to just release them and move on? The sooner you do this in a loving manner the better off you will be. Loving yourself truly means knowing which are the people in your life who really love you.
Comments
Post a Comment