Faulty Friends: Superficial People
I depend on my daughters to give me my occasional reality check. Often times I will tell a joke and they will laugh but when it's not funny they look me straight in the eye and say something like: "Dad, not that funny" as they do the cut the neck signal. There is nothing superficial about our relationship, at least not most of the time. Yet what I know about myself is that there was a time when I was all about being on the surface, not going too deep and looking in the mirror too many times before I left for the party. There was even a time when I lived on LSD and drove a Mercedes then a BMW because at the time nothing was as important as my image. Superficial? Oh, you think so? Yet for me it was these experiences that have taught me that nothing is more powerful than living an authentic life and surrounding myself with real friends. Still faulty friends are everywhere and superficial people are likely in the majority.
We are human and we are driven by our egos and our material wealth. We are inclined to make status more important than reality and really authentic friends. It is difficult not to get caught in the web we call life yet faulty friends gather around us all the time. Where we can rise above the false love is by becoming more compassionate and understanding, because false people are in a lot of pain and deserve to be blessed. It does not by any means mean that you are to fly with the people who are not for you but rather that you leave the judgements to divine source and continue to seek out your own authentic self so as to attract others who are authentic and real.
Recently I had a party and about 25 people attended. One of the few people who had come to the party met many of the attendees for the very first time. When she reacted and shared what she thought about the group she shared that they felt like "down to earth people and were very friendly". I thought about what she had said and truly understood for myself that although there were others who did not attend the people who did were likely the most kind, inviting, realistic people one could ever want as friends. These were truly people of kindness and of simplicity yet most of them were highly educated and all with professional backgrounds. Not one of them held their credentials in their hand nor did they behave in a way that was not polite and grateful. Many made positive comments about the ladies I'd hired to serve and to help out and thanked them over and over again. It was in that moment that I knew that the right people were at my party celebrating me and honoring my home. It was then that I knew these were not superficial friends but just good people.
Faulty friends are ones who are useful in their category. They may be the people who you see here and there but are not ones who bother to find out more about you. Be OK with this fact and simply ride the wave in each circumstance and each time. Don't try to make everyone a friend because not every one can be a good friend. Place people in positive categories: my cocktail girls who lunch, my dancing friends, my acquaintances who I meet with once a years. A true friend is someone who is hard to come by yet when we find her or him it is reason for pause and reason to honor them. Superficial friends don't need to have a bad label. We just need to know who they are. If we love our selves we don't need to make everyone like us or have a need for that.
I know a very pretty girl and have met others but will simply share this about this one girl I met recently who is beautiful by most standards and could seemingly be a model. In photos of her she looks great. She like many other girls that are attractive has been misunderstood and mistreated. Men will gravitate towards her she says but once they determine she is not romantically interested they tend to run away and not look back. She feels hurt at times because she has a deep need to be seen, and not just because she is pretty. Although there may be a man who will become her friend and be willing to be loyal until such time she may love him in a more intimate way, most men don't understand this idea. We want it all or nothing and when we don't get what we want exactly then we feel rejected and go on to the next person. Life does not flow this way yest we do this over and over. What we must someday know is that authenticity is all that we need to become all of who we are an attract those people who are for us. The truth is that we all have faults and that at one time we have all played the game. We need only to come out of the darkness and into a lighter spot witthout expecting anything and giving all that we can offer openly and without conditions.
Maximo Collazo
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