Your Self Worth Depends On
When our self worth depends on someone or something we own we eventually find out that no one and nothing can make us feel worthy. When we depend on the acceptance of someone else to make us feel valuable we will inevitably run into a wall, a place where we understand that no one should have that kind of power to make us feel good about ourselves or badly about ourselves for that matter. While having a beautiful home and a great car is nice, nothing material makes up our self-worth nor do any of the things we own give us more esteem. In a world where we hold monetary richness up high it is difficult not to think that if we have a lot of money we will be more valued. Unfortunately in many cases it is the rich who seem to have it all. In reality this is simply an illusion, one that we perceive based on the myths about having it all.
Some of us wonder what it may be like to have all the money in the world. Many of us play the lotto in hopes that we will be the next millionaire and be able to send our boss to hell and walk out of a job we hate. We believe that money equals power and happiness and although to some degree this may be true, real happiness comes from within. In truth there are many rich people who are unhappy and money cannot keep us from the normal things that happen to everyone regardless of how much we have. The truth is that no amount of things or monetary wealth will afford us a healthy self-esteem.
The one thing that many of us know is that when we get in a serious and committed relationship we often times depend on that person to show up for us when we need them. While this is a reasonable expectation there are going to always be times when the person we are depending on cannot be depended on and do not show up for us. There are a variety of ways that we might be treated by others (especially those we love and trust) that will effect our self-worth but only if we depend on others to measure ourselves. We must learn to take the good with the bad and understand fully that others will let us down and in fact that there are instances where not only will someone not show up for us, we will be put down by them, even the ones we love or who are suppose to love us. For this very reason we must not depend on others to feel worthy but moreover already know we are valuable and great.
Anyone who is in your life who puts you down is likely someone you need to re-evaluate as a friend or partner. Needing others approval is one thing while receiving insults is quite another thing. When we depend on others to lift us up we are setting ourselves up and placing a responsibility on others that really belongs to us. We are the only ones responsible for what we think of ourselves. When we think so little of ourselves it is easy for others to make us feel lowly and unworthy. When we know who we are and acknowledge our gifts then what others think does not effect what we think of ourselves. Although this seems simple it is not as easily accomplished without consistent loving self-work.
There are many things we can be doing so that we can wart off any negative reactions to what others think of us. Not allowing others opinions of us make us form that opinion of ourselves is not simple. It takes self-nurturing and many times professional guidance. When we know we are dependent it may mean that we will need to go to a therapist to better understand why. When we let others get to us and make their opinions of us our truth, there may be a need for self-reflection, prayer and meditation. Looking within is the first step to figuring out why others can control what we think. Many of us find that we are people pleasers and that we must begin to look at others as equals rather than better than us. While it is nice to have lovely things we might be too engrossed in the thought that what matters is what we have or what we don't have. Looking inside to determine who we are without the material things is a good step in finding our worth purely. By listing our talents we remember that we are in fact great and by sharing those talents we lift ourselves up. Above it all we must know that nothing and no one can make us feel worthwhile. Only we alone can do that.
Some of us wonder what it may be like to have all the money in the world. Many of us play the lotto in hopes that we will be the next millionaire and be able to send our boss to hell and walk out of a job we hate. We believe that money equals power and happiness and although to some degree this may be true, real happiness comes from within. In truth there are many rich people who are unhappy and money cannot keep us from the normal things that happen to everyone regardless of how much we have. The truth is that no amount of things or monetary wealth will afford us a healthy self-esteem.
The one thing that many of us know is that when we get in a serious and committed relationship we often times depend on that person to show up for us when we need them. While this is a reasonable expectation there are going to always be times when the person we are depending on cannot be depended on and do not show up for us. There are a variety of ways that we might be treated by others (especially those we love and trust) that will effect our self-worth but only if we depend on others to measure ourselves. We must learn to take the good with the bad and understand fully that others will let us down and in fact that there are instances where not only will someone not show up for us, we will be put down by them, even the ones we love or who are suppose to love us. For this very reason we must not depend on others to feel worthy but moreover already know we are valuable and great.
Anyone who is in your life who puts you down is likely someone you need to re-evaluate as a friend or partner. Needing others approval is one thing while receiving insults is quite another thing. When we depend on others to lift us up we are setting ourselves up and placing a responsibility on others that really belongs to us. We are the only ones responsible for what we think of ourselves. When we think so little of ourselves it is easy for others to make us feel lowly and unworthy. When we know who we are and acknowledge our gifts then what others think does not effect what we think of ourselves. Although this seems simple it is not as easily accomplished without consistent loving self-work.
There are many things we can be doing so that we can wart off any negative reactions to what others think of us. Not allowing others opinions of us make us form that opinion of ourselves is not simple. It takes self-nurturing and many times professional guidance. When we know we are dependent it may mean that we will need to go to a therapist to better understand why. When we let others get to us and make their opinions of us our truth, there may be a need for self-reflection, prayer and meditation. Looking within is the first step to figuring out why others can control what we think. Many of us find that we are people pleasers and that we must begin to look at others as equals rather than better than us. While it is nice to have lovely things we might be too engrossed in the thought that what matters is what we have or what we don't have. Looking inside to determine who we are without the material things is a good step in finding our worth purely. By listing our talents we remember that we are in fact great and by sharing those talents we lift ourselves up. Above it all we must know that nothing and no one can make us feel worthwhile. Only we alone can do that.
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