Team Player or Apposing Teams

It seems like common sense that a good relationship with others in our life requires that we be a team player, yet there are many people who hold relationship the atttidude of an aposing team player.  It is sometimes not until we lose someone we love because we don't know how to play the game of life that we realize that the reason we lost the game was simple, we did not play it accurately.  We lost because we did not see the importance of being a team player and step up to the base.  We were in the relationship with the expectation that if we needed to do something we would be asked.

How do we behave like a team player in relationship?
We behave with fairness and we do our part to win.  We give more than we take if needed and we show up even if we are not told to show up for the game.  We take the bat and we swing and hit the ball, we run and jump and get the basketball into the net even when times are tough.  We play the game of life and relationship like we would like to win because if we don't we are going to lose.

What do we do to be a relationship team player?
That is a good question and I am glad I asked.  We do things without being asked to but more importantly we jump in when we know we are needed.  We are purposeful in how we do things and we do things because we see the need.  We don't sit back and watch television while our beloved is franticly looking for his or her keys.  We help our loved one find the keys or we at least offer to help.
What we do when we are a team player is we are proactive and we just do it.

What do we say when we are a team player?
We don't have to agree with everything that our partners say or think is right or wrong.  We don't have to agree but we don't have to disagree so often.  Try to be more agreeable and measure your opinions and rebuttals about what your partner says, thinks is beautiful or shares an opinion about.  It seems there are a lot of people out there that think that it is fun to disagree often and do so in a way that seems contrary to a partner or a team player.  If you were on the same team as that  person and you were playing a sport some of what you disagree with and refute is truly irrelevant.  So why disagree so much?  Be a team  player and simply acknowledge what is being shared with you.  Sometimes that is all that is needed.  Share words of encouragement not words of disagreement.

What is the advantage of being a relationship team player?
I think most people know the answers to this question.  Ideally, the advantage of being a team player is that the person you are supporting will likely be much more receptive and want to be an equally good team player.  The advantage of being a team player is that in the long run you will get more things done at a faster speed and be able to move from responsibility to recreation and fun things.  The advantage of being a team player is that your partner, family member or friend will see you modeling  a behavior that tells them that you care and puts action in support of the words "I  love you".

Why are people not team players?
We are more programed to believe that the other people are our competition and that there are more people who appose us than love us.  The myth is that "it's every man for himself" and we believed it.  We operate from a place of fear that we won't have enough of something.  We won't have enough food or money or space.  We operate from a place of lack whether it is our time, our money or our emotions.  Most of all we think that if we constantly challenge others we can control them better.  We believed the lies that we have to be right or we are stupid or inadequate.  We think that if we play the game of life without giving too much people will respect us more.  The reality is that playing life like a team player will result in more wins.

How can I be a team player?
Well first of all don't be a "player hater".  Don't dismiss those people in your life by assuming they have to be there for you because you are somehow inherenently better, wisher or smarter.