Appreciation and Love
Sometimes like many of us I forget how fortunate I am to have what I have, live where I live and be with the man I am with. It is so easy to complain about the flaws of each and every person, most of which are flaws we have ourselves and it takes a bad day to figure out just how fortunate we are. I think today was one of those beloved days where I finally looked back at my bank of complaints and realized how silly they all are. As god would have it I actually had a conversation with a friend and began to complain about how my husband does not care as much as I do about this and that to which she asked me: "I don't know why you are married to him, why are you married to him"? At this moment I acknowledged that I had given her the wrong impression and proceeded to correct myself listing all the wonderful character traits my husband has blessed me with like: honestly, loyalty, financial stability, kindness, compassion, humor and the like. It was at that moment that she understood clearly that my comment was a comment and that I loved my husband but more importantly I was clear as to why I cared so deeply for him and why I was married to him. I needed to hear what she said in order to experience an appreciation for his love and for the loves in my life. I saw more clearly how I sabotage myself by making negative comments about my partner that create an energy that is less loving and that triangulate, creating a karma that is not healthy for anyone.
I want to invite everyone I know to focus more on the character traits of our loved ones that are loving rather than the ones we find defective and to understand that the ones we find as faults are the same ones we know so well in ourselves. If we think our brother is selfish then we are likely needing to work on our generosity. If we think our sister negligent then we should call her and tell her we love her. If we think our husband disinterested in what we find important then we are likely due to watch football with him, showing our interest in what they love or at the very least participating in something he loves.
It is easier to criticize another than it is to do our own homework. The reality is that our homework is our own and we are better off looking at ourselves more closely and to do so with the same loving understanding that we look at the ones we love and those who love us.
Just for the record: My husband is a great person who has watched my back for almost ten years and I know that he is a wonderful, kind, generous and humane person. He may not be as feverish as I am about looking for the wallpaper for our bedroom or getting new aqua blue towels or finding the perfect loafer or reading the bible or focusing on my trip to India but he is passionate about what he does and how he does it. For this I am in appreciation for love. Not just from him but from my brother, sister, mother, daughters, grandkids and friends. Each is doing their best and each deserves to be loved with the so called "flaws".
Look at your loved ones and see what it is inside you that is calling you to do your work and look at each loved one and appreciate them as they are. We all have "flaws" and none of us can be everything to everyone. We can only do our best. I go back to "The Four Agreements" and say:
Do your best
Be impeccable with your word
Don't take things personally
and...
Read this sacred book. It will inspire you all.
Coach Elliott
I want to invite everyone I know to focus more on the character traits of our loved ones that are loving rather than the ones we find defective and to understand that the ones we find as faults are the same ones we know so well in ourselves. If we think our brother is selfish then we are likely needing to work on our generosity. If we think our sister negligent then we should call her and tell her we love her. If we think our husband disinterested in what we find important then we are likely due to watch football with him, showing our interest in what they love or at the very least participating in something he loves.
It is easier to criticize another than it is to do our own homework. The reality is that our homework is our own and we are better off looking at ourselves more closely and to do so with the same loving understanding that we look at the ones we love and those who love us.
Just for the record: My husband is a great person who has watched my back for almost ten years and I know that he is a wonderful, kind, generous and humane person. He may not be as feverish as I am about looking for the wallpaper for our bedroom or getting new aqua blue towels or finding the perfect loafer or reading the bible or focusing on my trip to India but he is passionate about what he does and how he does it. For this I am in appreciation for love. Not just from him but from my brother, sister, mother, daughters, grandkids and friends. Each is doing their best and each deserves to be loved with the so called "flaws".
Look at your loved ones and see what it is inside you that is calling you to do your work and look at each loved one and appreciate them as they are. We all have "flaws" and none of us can be everything to everyone. We can only do our best. I go back to "The Four Agreements" and say:
Do your best
Be impeccable with your word
Don't take things personally
and...
Read this sacred book. It will inspire you all.
Coach Elliott
Comments
Post a Comment