The Christmas Blues

No doubt there will be many people who will experience what we call the "holiday blues".  For many the holidays feel like a reminder of their lonely feelings and the people who die before them.  Some express their dislike for the holidays and like other holidays, Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve and Secretaries Day they feel as though the people who profit the most are the merchants who promote each one to make more money.  Yet in spite of all of this, we can experience joy during the holidays and have a Merry Christmas if we just set that intention and plan it.  By staying in bed and turning off the lights we may be able to experience a temporary relief nothing but confronting it and reframing the holidays is the best way to heal.

Adopt a family:

There are legitimately people that do not have any family members around them during the holiday season for various reasons including that their family experience is not one that is loving and connected.  In this case I advocate for adopting a new family by nurturing close friendships and celebrating the holidays with them.  Our family can be whomever we like.  Make your own family and accept those invitations to share their family, your new family.

Fake it:

I know we have all heard this before: "fake it till you make it".  There is so much truth to this saying and I for one can attest to it.  At first we may not be thinking we will enjoy the holidays yet if start to buy some ornaments and buy a Christmas tree we might just be able to view the holidays differently.  Pushing ourselves to say "happy holidays" and send out cards to friends even if we are not so into it yet could be very healing.  It is a lot like dancing until we begin to feel the music and begin to enjoy it.

Travel:

If you feel as though nothing you do would make any difference it might be a good idea to book a trip somewhere you have been wanting to go.  Whether it is a driving trip or a trip abroad plan it ahead of time and leave before the holidays to return after the holidays.  A trip away is a way to find your bearings and perhaps do some reading and writing around those feelings about the holidays.  Taking pictures of scenery and people you meet can make a trip alone a lot of fun.  Open your heart and mind and enjoy every moment without giving the holidays a thought.

A new vision:\

Although many families feel a need to continue a tradition for the holidays one person may be able to change that by sharing a new vision of the holidays.  That vision could be one where gifts are eliminated from the equation and it be more about sharing time together and reacting poems or playing and singing songs for one another.  Creating a new vision of Christmas could very well be the best way to begin to enjoy the holidays in a different way.

The one thing that we must begin to accept is that the holidays mean something different to each person.  On the other hand fear should not be the reason that we don't enjoy that time of the year.  We can choose not to participate and that would be completely acceptable yet again we must do so with compassion in our hearts for ourselves and others.  Although we can decide to say NO to the holidays we must look inside for the reason we are saying NO to something that may bring us our someone we love some form of joy.  If we could only give without needing a holiday as an excuse to give and to enjoy one another then we are well on our way to enjoying life every day of the year, including Christmas.