The Holiday Blues: How to Cope
There are so many reasons to get the blues during the holidays that I could not possible share them all. From family disfunctional behaviors to a death of a family member to a break up. All are good reasons to be a little blue shortly before or during the holidays. Here are some ways to cope:
1. Don't feel obligated:
The mere fact that one feels obligated to celebrate holidays will bring us down. Try to look at the holidays and your participation as optional. No one can force you to do something you simply don't feel like doing. The less obligated you feel the more likely you may enjoy it by just making it an intentional choice. Or not.
2. Limit the merriment:
Carve out a small amount of time to participate in the merriment of the holidays by deciding ahead of time how long you will be into it and in it. Don't commit to hours of partying or staying until Uncle Jack gets drunk and sits on your lap. Limit the time you will be in attendance and leave before the going gets too complicated, sad or the usual stuff happens. Put a time limit on your visit and then do what you would like to do, something you planned on your own.
3. Skip it and go on a vacation:
There is really nothing wrong with skipping the holidays and leaving the state, maybe even the country. Instead of staying home and spending money on the holidays spend it on a vacation on your own or with those you'd like to spend time with instead. Afterwards you can always have a gathering in your home to celebrate the new year or "three kings day".
4. Get into it and have a party:
One way to approach the holidays is to give it a "can't beat it join it" approach. Pull out all the stops and have a great party out or in your own home. Invite friends and family so that there is a variety of people and Uncle Fred getting drunk will not make much difference when you balance it out with everyone else you love.
5. Start a new tradition:
Starting a new tradition could mean changing the date of gift giving or taking the entire family on a holiday vacation. I have often thought that waiting until after Christmas to buy gifts would be a great way to save money and take some of the stress off. Another ideas would be to wait until January on the "Tres Reyes" day to celebrate.
6. Skip the gifting or:
Skipping the gift giving is easier with adults, but you can give children gifts and agree not to give any adults a gift. Instead ask each adult to donate money to a cause. Even a secret santa agreement where you only buy the person you select a gift would save money and stress. IF all the adults agree no gifts this may help everyone feel more at ease and be able to better enjoy the holidays.
Reconsidering what the holidays look like, feel like and what you do may be the very best thing you and your family can do. Focusing on what is important like getting together and having a gathering where everyone shares their gratitude or simply playing games and telling jokes could change the entire tone and tradition of the holidays, making it more about enjoying time with people you love. Going on a vacation alone or with your spouse for the holidays is a change of mentality around what we traditionally know as holidays. In the end we should be able to enjoy that time or simply not participate in it and do what we like to do.
1. Don't feel obligated:
The mere fact that one feels obligated to celebrate holidays will bring us down. Try to look at the holidays and your participation as optional. No one can force you to do something you simply don't feel like doing. The less obligated you feel the more likely you may enjoy it by just making it an intentional choice. Or not.
2. Limit the merriment:
Carve out a small amount of time to participate in the merriment of the holidays by deciding ahead of time how long you will be into it and in it. Don't commit to hours of partying or staying until Uncle Jack gets drunk and sits on your lap. Limit the time you will be in attendance and leave before the going gets too complicated, sad or the usual stuff happens. Put a time limit on your visit and then do what you would like to do, something you planned on your own.
3. Skip it and go on a vacation:
There is really nothing wrong with skipping the holidays and leaving the state, maybe even the country. Instead of staying home and spending money on the holidays spend it on a vacation on your own or with those you'd like to spend time with instead. Afterwards you can always have a gathering in your home to celebrate the new year or "three kings day".
4. Get into it and have a party:
One way to approach the holidays is to give it a "can't beat it join it" approach. Pull out all the stops and have a great party out or in your own home. Invite friends and family so that there is a variety of people and Uncle Fred getting drunk will not make much difference when you balance it out with everyone else you love.
5. Start a new tradition:
Starting a new tradition could mean changing the date of gift giving or taking the entire family on a holiday vacation. I have often thought that waiting until after Christmas to buy gifts would be a great way to save money and take some of the stress off. Another ideas would be to wait until January on the "Tres Reyes" day to celebrate.
6. Skip the gifting or:
Skipping the gift giving is easier with adults, but you can give children gifts and agree not to give any adults a gift. Instead ask each adult to donate money to a cause. Even a secret santa agreement where you only buy the person you select a gift would save money and stress. IF all the adults agree no gifts this may help everyone feel more at ease and be able to better enjoy the holidays.
Reconsidering what the holidays look like, feel like and what you do may be the very best thing you and your family can do. Focusing on what is important like getting together and having a gathering where everyone shares their gratitude or simply playing games and telling jokes could change the entire tone and tradition of the holidays, making it more about enjoying time with people you love. Going on a vacation alone or with your spouse for the holidays is a change of mentality around what we traditionally know as holidays. In the end we should be able to enjoy that time or simply not participate in it and do what we like to do.
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