Will You Not Marry Me
I guess some might say that I am a bit cynical. Like many humans I probably have a little of that along with a little of this. I have been married and in a long term relationship both for over ten years. What I learned is as they say in the master card commercials, "priceless". The nice part is that I am willing to share it with you.
LOL, LMAO, OMG and WTF
I will preface everything I share from this juncture on with a clause that says what I love about the AAA programs: "take what you like and leave the rest. I will add that just because I am a "life coach" it does not mean I don't have odd thoughts or at least ones that others might find odd.
This is what I think about marriage versus not being married. It makes little difference if any with the exception that when you are married the IRS will come after your ass if your spouse who is now M.I.A owes Uncle Sam money. I think just based on that alone I would think twice about getting married. Then there is that little issue called "inheriting his or her debt". Oops, your husband died and owes the entire amount on his Porsche and now the debt is yours. It is actually nice to think that one might inherit a nice ride but truthfully your spouse's debt will likely not come in a nice package that you want to keep. It will come in the form of money owed on hospital bills for example. The question at the core of all this is do you really think marriage is the route you want to take. I say live with someone and keep all the finances and debts separately.
I am still trying to understand why gay people even want to get married. It is not like the institution of marriage is not truly flawed. Most marriages end up in divorce and I say gay people have dodged a large bullet by not having to get married. Of course it is an advantage when it comes to property and a gay partner dying. So many times that parents of the partner come a running and want to claim the body and the bank account. Still marriage is such a high risk that anyone should truly think about it. Maybe the question should be: "will you not marry me?" or "Do you promise not to marry me?". After all for many couples it has worked well not to marry and for others who admit it: "marriage ruined everything". Sad as it may seem it's just not the most dependable way to hold relationship any longer and for many people who'd rather not. I support this as a choice: just say NO.
I am not sure if I would get married to a woman who is rich and offered to split her riches with me. I think it would be tempting yet what I sense is that along with an offer to take financial care of me she'd want to pretty much own me. I have to be honest and say that I am just not that type of person and I don't tick that way, as they say. Still I get that there are people who marry someone because they are rich and famous or just rich. Donald is an example of that and quite frankly I don't get how a man that unattractive could have a beautiful wife any other way. I think it works for him and it obviously works for her. But still at the very center of that and other relationships like that one we have to admit that we are typical and that it is a typical situation, almost classic in fact.
I recently wrote a short comment on social media about being single and happy to which one beautiful lady responded with some version of how she still held out for true love. I wanted to just say something sarcastic but after giving it thought I could understand it. It's her intention to be happier when she becomes in love with some man who might turn out to be "the one". I think that's OK for her yet statistics don't support her theory of love and happiness, forever with prince charming. Still I would support her and her desire to be in love as long as she understands that most times love is not forever and that she know her ability to let go when the time comes, because it will likely come. Did I say that? Sorry, I have a little bit of a loose tongue.
Here is what I really think. OK, Elliott, tell us how you really feel. LOL, OMG. I think that one should understand that marriage is a flawed system that has been sold to many as the end all when in fact our own happiness should be at the center of what we do, the decisions we make and the energy we keep. I believe that self-love and knowing the importance of caring for ourselves is the most important thing we can do in life. I truly believe that when you are self-assured that you don't really need a piece of paper to bind you to someone or someone to you. I think many people see marriage as a way to almost own someone and assure themselves that from now on they can have a home cooked meal and a beautiful house and children. If that is what a person desires most I think they should know that there is a very high likelihood that they will be abandoned with their children, especially women. I understand that allure yet what I know is that we should be living our lives freely and without name tags that tell everyone we are "taken".
I am not against marriage folks. Please don't write me any hate mail. I am against the illusion that has been created around marriage and the fact that many young people don't think about all of the consequences around becoming legally bound to someone . I also believe that people are afraid to do what their heart desires which is just to move in and live together and go for a wonderful, magical ride. I just think people are being sold something wonderful and necessary that in fact is not. I will end this by quoting a song I love from back when" "Love The One Your With".
Coach Elliott
LOL, LMAO, OMG and WTF
I will preface everything I share from this juncture on with a clause that says what I love about the AAA programs: "take what you like and leave the rest. I will add that just because I am a "life coach" it does not mean I don't have odd thoughts or at least ones that others might find odd.
This is what I think about marriage versus not being married. It makes little difference if any with the exception that when you are married the IRS will come after your ass if your spouse who is now M.I.A owes Uncle Sam money. I think just based on that alone I would think twice about getting married. Then there is that little issue called "inheriting his or her debt". Oops, your husband died and owes the entire amount on his Porsche and now the debt is yours. It is actually nice to think that one might inherit a nice ride but truthfully your spouse's debt will likely not come in a nice package that you want to keep. It will come in the form of money owed on hospital bills for example. The question at the core of all this is do you really think marriage is the route you want to take. I say live with someone and keep all the finances and debts separately.
I am still trying to understand why gay people even want to get married. It is not like the institution of marriage is not truly flawed. Most marriages end up in divorce and I say gay people have dodged a large bullet by not having to get married. Of course it is an advantage when it comes to property and a gay partner dying. So many times that parents of the partner come a running and want to claim the body and the bank account. Still marriage is such a high risk that anyone should truly think about it. Maybe the question should be: "will you not marry me?" or "Do you promise not to marry me?". After all for many couples it has worked well not to marry and for others who admit it: "marriage ruined everything". Sad as it may seem it's just not the most dependable way to hold relationship any longer and for many people who'd rather not. I support this as a choice: just say NO.
I am not sure if I would get married to a woman who is rich and offered to split her riches with me. I think it would be tempting yet what I sense is that along with an offer to take financial care of me she'd want to pretty much own me. I have to be honest and say that I am just not that type of person and I don't tick that way, as they say. Still I get that there are people who marry someone because they are rich and famous or just rich. Donald is an example of that and quite frankly I don't get how a man that unattractive could have a beautiful wife any other way. I think it works for him and it obviously works for her. But still at the very center of that and other relationships like that one we have to admit that we are typical and that it is a typical situation, almost classic in fact.
I recently wrote a short comment on social media about being single and happy to which one beautiful lady responded with some version of how she still held out for true love. I wanted to just say something sarcastic but after giving it thought I could understand it. It's her intention to be happier when she becomes in love with some man who might turn out to be "the one". I think that's OK for her yet statistics don't support her theory of love and happiness, forever with prince charming. Still I would support her and her desire to be in love as long as she understands that most times love is not forever and that she know her ability to let go when the time comes, because it will likely come. Did I say that? Sorry, I have a little bit of a loose tongue.
Here is what I really think. OK, Elliott, tell us how you really feel. LOL, OMG. I think that one should understand that marriage is a flawed system that has been sold to many as the end all when in fact our own happiness should be at the center of what we do, the decisions we make and the energy we keep. I believe that self-love and knowing the importance of caring for ourselves is the most important thing we can do in life. I truly believe that when you are self-assured that you don't really need a piece of paper to bind you to someone or someone to you. I think many people see marriage as a way to almost own someone and assure themselves that from now on they can have a home cooked meal and a beautiful house and children. If that is what a person desires most I think they should know that there is a very high likelihood that they will be abandoned with their children, especially women. I understand that allure yet what I know is that we should be living our lives freely and without name tags that tell everyone we are "taken".
I am not against marriage folks. Please don't write me any hate mail. I am against the illusion that has been created around marriage and the fact that many young people don't think about all of the consequences around becoming legally bound to someone . I also believe that people are afraid to do what their heart desires which is just to move in and live together and go for a wonderful, magical ride. I just think people are being sold something wonderful and necessary that in fact is not. I will end this by quoting a song I love from back when" "Love The One Your With".
Coach Elliott
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