Coach Elliott

I am not going to give up on myself until I stop breathing and even then I will ask spirit to give me one more chance to get it right.  That brings me to the next part of evolving which is not only to never give up but to understand that giving up is saying yes to the parts of you that may have been shamed into thinking that what you want is not available.  We have to be willing to make some mistakes in order to get to the place that is right for us.  A place where our heart, body and spirit feel centered and in some loving form.  When we allow our mistakes to stop our progress or our journey we freeze and we tend to stay in a state of despair.  When we give up on ourselves we are not just giving up on our selves we are giving up on those people who love us, some of which look to us for guidance, like our children, our nieces and our grandchildren.  When we give up we are giving up on our spirit and all of the things we are destined to accomplish as well as the idea that we are rea

I would like to continue the theme of evolving and making this the focus of the new year that is fast approaching.  I want to encourage you to let go of the old belief that there is a need for resolutions and to approach this year as a year of evolving and transforming.  Here are some tips that might be useful.  Have a plan.   Having a plan when needed is a way of making sure that you get around to making your dreams and goals actualize.  Although there is not always a need for a plan we can sense when and if we need to make one.  As you think about the new year consider what it is in your life that either needs to be executed or needs to be healed.  A plan has to include the various parts of who you are as a whole.  The spiritual part, the physical part, the emotional part, the financial aspects, the emotional part and the creative joy aspect.  Your plan can be one that encompasses a year in your life.  It will have parts that will be ongoing like daily prayer or meditation.  You ma

I hope that you have already noticed that I did not refer to or title this blog a "New Year's Resolution" but rather A New Year Evolution.  This is of course is purposeful.  I often tell my husband that I am a methodical Bi_ _ _ mostly because often times I have a purpose in mind and everything is planned to the level where it's ridiculously precise, sometimes too precise.  In this case I am referring to the purpose of this blog as one that is premeditated and a message that resonates for me and I hope resonates for you as well.  A new year revolution is about evolving, of course and that means change and a willingness to let go of the past, therefor living in the present.  I want to add that as I write this I am listening to the new Rhianna CD one that  I should be too old to listen to but I find not only provocative and sexy but in some ways profound because it is addressing what many of us would rather deny about our sexuality and our persona, but I regress.  As yo

If someone asks you about your darkest moments you might think about the time someone in your family died, a divorce or getting fired from a job.  It's funny how in the aftermath of these things we realize that we are OK, that some of our darkness was not so dark and that we have survived all of those dark experiences.  Re framing our situation gives us the strength and wisdom we need to see that not all of what happened to us is terribly bad and that in the end we are able to manage it.  If our dog dies we might soon see a re frame by thinking about the joy we experienced with our dog.  If our favorite aunt moves to Spain and we feel sadness about it, it may help to see it as an opportunity to go to Spain every year and learn how to talk to her live on our computer.  Re framing doesn't take much.  It is simply looking for the right parts in what we think is the wrong situation for us.  We may not be able to do this every time but we can do it sometimes and whenever it is pos

Today I had my family over for a Christmas Eve celebration.  There were about 20 people in all and each one of them special in their own way.  My heart was filled with love and the energy was all about enjoying the moment.  Some danced, some sang, some had a political dialog and some sat quietly observing and taking it all in.  The diversity of my family, African American, Hispanic, French, Italian, Mexican, Irish and German to name a few makes our family a truly embracing one that reaches out to others like the few who were in attendance who did not have an occasion of their own or whose family does not live in Chicago.  They became part of the family today and my observation was that they felt accepted and loved. All in all it was a beautiful event that honored the people who love me and those whom I love.  Then to my dismay I receive an email from one of the condo association members stating that the board members believe me to be "a liar".  I have to admit that the fi

It becomes more clear to me as I age and become wiser that boundaries are more essential to living a joyful life than ever before.  Setting those boundaries is not an easy task but we all need to do it and if we do we will be happier and healthier human beings.  Each person we interact with daily and those we happen to interact with in the moment need to know what our boundaries are and be clear that we have clarity around the lines we draw.  Boundaries can be seen as the perimeters within which we live our life and what people need to know and honor about our personal space.  Not setting boundaries results in some complicated and at times troublesome situations that are not only uncomfortable for you but also for others who are unclear as to where your lines are located and why.  We must know what our perimeters are and where the lines are drawn and in this manner let others know.  This requires that we speak up when someone crosses them.  As I shared recently my boundaries were cro

I use to believe that my dark side should be concealed or denied.  I bet some of you have been raised to believe that your dark side is something to be ashamed of, control or make believe does not exist.   Like me you may have falsely deduced that you should stuff this aspect of you and these feelings down.  Often times when I when I expressed anger, jealous  feelings, resentment or desires it was more often than not labeled dark and wrong.  Many of us have been raised in an environment where it was simply not acceptable to express anything that looked, felt or was dark in nature. The affect that holding back our dark feelings (anger, resentment, jealousy) has become evident in our society in the form of serious crimes where anger and forms of darkness has been expressed in the most inappropriate manner.  Although we know that anger is not always expressed in a healthy and productive it seems almost impossible not to express it in a way that some deem bad or label as wrong.   Of cour

Yes it is intentional that I have titled this BLOG the "Holidaze".  I believe that some of us go into a daze and even a blank gaze during the holidays from the stress and the need to give gifts to everyone even if we cannot afford it.  The Christmas holidays are an absolutely perfect time to get into debt that many of us will not recover from until the next holiday when we do it all over again.  Partners and parents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters and grandparents want to please others by giving them exactly what they wish for and at times go overboard.  Susan wants a designer dress and Mike wants a pair of Nike gym shoes that just came out, while mom has a dream of getting a cashmere sweater.  It is so wonderful to give and to receive what we would like and the holidays seem like a good time to do just that.  The other side of that coin is that we tend to spend way too much money and don't realize it until we receive the credit card statement.  It is so much fun

Life is a series of wonderful experiences and I guess I have to admit some not so wonderful moments.  I use to ask myself what I would do if I knew what I was doing?  The truth is that I don't always know what to do or when or why to do it.  I have been giving this much thought and what showed up was a formula that might help me and others I am being asked to serve.  This is what came to me: Organize, prioritize, visualize and it will materialize.   I admit that I am not a genius and I doubt that if I were tested I would come up as a protege in any area of my brain, and I am so OK with that.  It suffices that I still have the facility and brain power to make some loving decisions for myself in spite of the fact that life has handed me some lemons.  I am proud to say that I too have made the lemonade and that by doing so I have bypassed some circumstances that needed an application of creativity.  I have been thinking about this concept (organize, prioritize, visualize and materia

When I first heard the story about the mother who forgot her baby in the car I thought, "How does any parent forget their child and leave them anywhere without being aware of it?"  The mother who recanted the story of how her baby died was devastated and in tears, not able to control her emotions of sadness and guilt.  She, like many of us was in unconscious automatic living.  She was in a hurry to get to work, stopped at a gas station to put gas in her car, ran into work and eight hours later discovered her baby suffocated in the car from from the intense heat.  She had forgotten to drop her baby off at the caregiver and simply did not notice she was still in the car.  This story truly reminded me to stay present and the importance of it. Living in the present moment requires intention.  Living consciously is about showing up for yourself and others.  It is experiencing every moment and savoring life.  When we live in the moment we experience the fullness of life.  It is a

I realize I have already posted one BLOG today but I guess I feel compelled to share this while it is fresh on my mind.  This morning I coached a couple who are clients of mine and who have been struggling in relationship.  When they came to me it seemed that they were close to ending the relationship.  Now four sessions later they are emoting, sharing, smiling and laughing.  Of course there is a lot more work to do and we all realize it and acknowledged that today, every time we meet I collectively learn something with them.  This is what I want share and feel that worked: 1. Take the time to tell your partner what you value in them or write it down and gift them with it. 2. Take a loving inventory as individuals in each area of your life using adjectives to describe that area of your life: spiritually, financially, in your relationship, health and nutrition and creatively.  This is an individual inventory.  Then write down why you wrote that response/descriptor (positive or chal

There is a lot of talk about meditation and one can google them or look up methods of meditating on YouTube.  I would like to share my thoughts about meditation and the importance of simply taking the time to calm our mind and body.  Holding a time of sacred reverence for yourself is a very practical way to look at meditation. It is a daily gift you give to yourself.  I ask my clients to participate in a guided or silent meditation before we begin to  co-create and ask them to view meditation as simply a way for us to get centered before we begin.  Meditation can be seen as a self-loving and nurturing act that reminds us that we are valuable and taking the time for ourselves is a way to honor our mind, body and spirit. It is a daily opportunity to raise our energy level, replenish our hearts and take time to honor and send light to the universe, ourselves and to others.  It is a necessary and loving act that we can do each day before the start of the day and one that will give us the

Tonight I attended a group meditation in Evanston.  At the end of the session the teacher announced that there would be a talk about having gratitude for the people in our lives who have wronged us, hurt us or simply been mean spirited towards us.  She shared her own story about how her mother forced her into prostitution as a young girl and how painful this experience had been.  Another woman shared that her brother has been abusive towards her all her life and that he pulls her in and then pushes her away in a way that sounded and looked like abuse.  It was hard for her to say that her brother abused her and at first she said that it was verbal and mental but then recalled when he had beat her up a couple of times.  To this day he is still verbally abusive and she struggles with having a loving relationship with him.  Some of you have likely been treated in a way that is disrespectful, abusive and simply mean.  It seems obvious that where the healing needs to start to be applied is

Today I would like to share my experience on Thanksgiving with my family.  My daughter Taina Luz invited us all to her and her husband's home.  The food was beyond delicious and as usual I ate way too much of it.  We celebrated my ex-wife's birthday at the same time.  My daughter's surprised her with a cake and sang the birthday song.  My granddaughter Mia sang it again solo for her grandmother who she adores.  After she finished singing we noted that Lucy was crying and she immediately shared her  fond memories of when her parents celebrated her birthday on Thanksgiving day each year.  Her father is the person that I refer to as my father in law who passed away very recently and her mother died about four years ago of cancer.  At that moment I could not think of anything more special than being with my daughter's, family members and my ex-wife and good friend.  It was even more amazing to me that I was there with my current husband Cary and that everyone in my family e

Sometimes we have to think about what we have to be grateful for when we are in victim mode and complaining about all the terrible things that happen to us.  At other times we experience legitimate challenges that make us wonder where our joy is at and makes it difficult to access it.  At those times I would encourage a gratitude list.  Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for and do this for a month.  At the end of the day before you go to bed, write down some things that happened that you appreciated.  It may start with very small things like the ability to see a beautiful tree or a hug from your child.  It could even be a smile you received from a stranger on the bus.  Finding things to be grateful for and documenting it heightens our appreciation and accentuates the positive.  The more you focus on the beauty of life the more joy you will experience. 

I have been thinking about the focus and purpose of my BLOG and one of the first things that comes up for me is that the purpose is to be of service to others.  I also get that spirit has something to say and that if I listen I can speak things of value that may have a healing effect.  I am willing to open myself up to every possibility and every intuitive feeling.  I am not wiser than others and in fact I feel like we are all capable of accessing the wisdom we need and the guidance we ask for.  This BLOG has a purpose today and I am going to embrace that purpose as one that is my calling.  I intend to use this venue to share what I have learned in life and in my spiritual psychology program.  As long as I am alive I feel an obligation to give and a desire to open my heart to receiving.  This BLOG is about life and love, light and dark and everything in between or so I sense it will be.  I have a feeling that the more I write the closer I will be to knowing the purpose, scope and inten

Coach Elliott : November 2012 I have been thinking about sharing a little about myself and the purpose of my BLOG with all of  all of you, after a friend who read my BLOG encouraged me to do so. Tonight I have decided to open myself up to doing that.  My name is Elliott and I have been doing the work of a life coach and mentor since 2008.  I earned my Masters degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica in California.  This intensive course of study was one that came to me when I realized that I needed to do my own self-loving work after many years of dysfunctional relationships and an acute realization that I wanted to be a  better version of who I was.  There was one key incident in my life that unveiled the need for me to look at myself and consider what needed to be transformed.  It became clear to me when one side of my face was paralyzed and I had to ask myself what needed to be healed and given an application of love as well as what was not in alignment.

My father in law is Ercilio Luna. Coach Elliott

Yesterday morning my father in law transitioned.  It was a sad but glorious day because what I believe is that he has reached another level of life and love and has been lifted from his pain and united with spirit. I no longer view death as only darkness and frankly view it more as light, a possible reason to celebrate.  I sense that the journey after death is a sacred one and may not be as permanent as we might think.  I don't profess to know where we go but given the numerous stories we have all  heard from those who have had near death and temporary death experiences it seems that where we go is heavenly and filled with joy.  It certainly is described as something of a magical experience in spite of it being a mystery.  I think that the invitation is to live this life we have been gifted with and to know that when it ends it is only the body, our shell that remains.  When my father in law passed I looked down at his body and sensed that his spirit was not inside of it and sudden

We know when we are in a loving relationship if we are witnessed and heard by the person who has stated that they love us.  We know that we are in a loving relationship because the person who we are spending time with enjoys it. We know we are in loving relationship when someone respects us and shows us how much he or she respects us through thier actions.  We know when we are not in a loving relationship when all we can think of is how to accomodate someone else. 

I find it interesting that people are so compelled to tell others what they think of them without provocation or invitation.  My loving grandmother nor my background in Spiritual Psychology could have prepared me for an email I recently received from someone who apparently got up in the morning and needed to express their anger. I think the first thing that came to mind was that if this person were in front of me that perhaps there would have been the proper filter that would have made the message less venom or more dignified, but then again who would know.  Once the darkness faded and my heart and mind aligned itself to love I realized that what this person said to me was not only unkind, it was likely projection and past pain expressing.  I have since worked on forgiveness and forwardness, allowing myself to get back on my life path and doing more of what I know brings me joy.  To those of you out there whose boundaries have been crossed and someone has attempted to place labels and