Hurt Feelings
I cannot believe, in a way, that what has inspired this particular blog is a quote from RuPaul. It is: "You're going to have to get your feelings hurt to walk through the fire". As is usual for me I want to interpret this and I want to make sense of it. Not just because it a rather neat and wonderfully whimsical source like RuPaul but that it is really so true for some of us a lot of the time. I think it to be different from kicking and screaming through life which most of us are familiar with but rather a reality of life. Yes, we are going to be willing to get hurt to evolve. Yes we need to be willing to be hurt and take that chance if we are to fall in love, for example. Yes we must be at times willing to trip and fall and injure our self-esteem to get through it.
When we are faced with a walk through the fire we are faced with the chance that we will get a bit burned but what is the alternative to this? The alternative is that we will not walk through the fire and get completely burned head to toe? Maybe. The thing is that we got to be willing to get a little burned to get to the open door and those of us who have survived the burning know that if we'd not taken the heat we would still be trying to get out of the house, sometimes literally.
When we are willing to get burned or hurt we are also saying that we accept the idea that life is not always what we want it to be and that if it were it would actually not be life. It would be too obvious to point it out but I will. Life is a series of experiences and expecting not to be hurt is not realistic. We are going to be hurt. We are going to be disappointed. In fact, we are going to have some scars in life and some will be permanent. I guess I know this firsthand being that I have lived this long, almost sixty years.
So what shall we do with this new found wisdom from my beautiful and talented RuPaul? I would say nothing for now because maybe we don't need it. I would add that we might put it somewhere for safe keeping for when we need it, assuming we will. There will be another hard thing to digest in our lives and it will likely come down the tubes sometime soon. If we look at it as something that hurts and that we cannot heal from then we feel completely devastated but if we look at it as something we can and will end up recovering from then it's just another experience. We are going to have more and more of them and there is no running from life.
Perception is the key here and how you look at your hurt and the subsequent scaring will determine your spiritual growth. Being mindful that we are stopping our joy because we are afraid to get hurt is a good self-realization. Being aware that we may not grow fully into our body, soul and mind if we don't take a chance is yet another way to look closer at our life experience. We must be willing to get hurt to walk or waltz through the fire. We can avoid the hurt if we stay inside our cubical or we can throw our hands in the air and be willing to get hurt for the sake of experiencing more of who we are and connect more with others.
Look at it this way. You are going to experience hurt either way. You might as well walk through it without always kicking and screaming and without being in the sad story. You might as well take a chance and call that guy up. You might as well go ahead and tell that girl you love her. You might as well go ahead and ask him if he likes your dress or not. Go ahead with life and don't get to caught up in the risk that you will be hurt. Life is a risk!
Activity:
Write down the things you have been meaning to do and why you have not done them.
Ask yourself if the reason that you have not done this is because you are afraid to get hurt or list other reasons why.
Write down a time when you were extremely hurt by something or someone.
Ask yourself how you got through it. (you did if you are still breathing by the way)
What are the things you say to yourself to hurt yourself.
Ask yourself and your inner guide why you have done this to yourself?
Lastly, put on some music and dance for a little while like you just don't care who is watching or how silly you might think you look.
Ask yourself how that felt and then decide why it felt that way. Write that down.
Re
When we are faced with a walk through the fire we are faced with the chance that we will get a bit burned but what is the alternative to this? The alternative is that we will not walk through the fire and get completely burned head to toe? Maybe. The thing is that we got to be willing to get a little burned to get to the open door and those of us who have survived the burning know that if we'd not taken the heat we would still be trying to get out of the house, sometimes literally.
When we are willing to get burned or hurt we are also saying that we accept the idea that life is not always what we want it to be and that if it were it would actually not be life. It would be too obvious to point it out but I will. Life is a series of experiences and expecting not to be hurt is not realistic. We are going to be hurt. We are going to be disappointed. In fact, we are going to have some scars in life and some will be permanent. I guess I know this firsthand being that I have lived this long, almost sixty years.
So what shall we do with this new found wisdom from my beautiful and talented RuPaul? I would say nothing for now because maybe we don't need it. I would add that we might put it somewhere for safe keeping for when we need it, assuming we will. There will be another hard thing to digest in our lives and it will likely come down the tubes sometime soon. If we look at it as something that hurts and that we cannot heal from then we feel completely devastated but if we look at it as something we can and will end up recovering from then it's just another experience. We are going to have more and more of them and there is no running from life.
Perception is the key here and how you look at your hurt and the subsequent scaring will determine your spiritual growth. Being mindful that we are stopping our joy because we are afraid to get hurt is a good self-realization. Being aware that we may not grow fully into our body, soul and mind if we don't take a chance is yet another way to look closer at our life experience. We must be willing to get hurt to walk or waltz through the fire. We can avoid the hurt if we stay inside our cubical or we can throw our hands in the air and be willing to get hurt for the sake of experiencing more of who we are and connect more with others.
Look at it this way. You are going to experience hurt either way. You might as well walk through it without always kicking and screaming and without being in the sad story. You might as well take a chance and call that guy up. You might as well go ahead and tell that girl you love her. You might as well go ahead and ask him if he likes your dress or not. Go ahead with life and don't get to caught up in the risk that you will be hurt. Life is a risk!
Activity:
Write down the things you have been meaning to do and why you have not done them.
Ask yourself if the reason that you have not done this is because you are afraid to get hurt or list other reasons why.
Write down a time when you were extremely hurt by something or someone.
Ask yourself how you got through it. (you did if you are still breathing by the way)
What are the things you say to yourself to hurt yourself.
Ask yourself and your inner guide why you have done this to yourself?
Lastly, put on some music and dance for a little while like you just don't care who is watching or how silly you might think you look.
Ask yourself how that felt and then decide why it felt that way. Write that down.
Re
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