Please Love Me
Don't spend a lot of time trying to get people to love you. Spend all your time loving the people that already do. This came from somewhere in my experience lately and I know we have all heard this lesson put in many words and in many languages. We seem to be so invested in those people who don't like us or are not paying attention or that are not capable of loving us that we forget where to place our energy and our focus. These may be just words and we may have heard them a million times before but boy is is ringing some bells for me, quite loudly and super clearly.
Back when we were all younger in elementary school we struggled at times to get those bad asses in school to not dislike us, in fact we kept hoping they would like us and perhaps not beat us up after school. It is sometimes that far back that we can reach and realise that we have been wanting someone to like us at some time or another for a lot of our life. Even those little assholes in school that we were frightened of were the same kids we wanted so much to be nice to us. The fact is that we learned this premise that far back and some of us are still practicing it, let's be honest.
I think a lot of us learned to seek approval from our teachers and mentors early on when it was common to say things like: "good girls don't sit that way and good boys don't play with Barbies". Ok, bad example. Nevertheless I think that we learned that we needed approval to feel validated and important, learning this at an early stage of life. We practiced it over and over and we had it reaffirmed repeatedly. We ended up believing that we needed to be liked in order to be whole. That turned into a bit of an obsession to be liked and loved and when we were not we questioned our value and still do.
Spending our energy trying to get others to like us, whether they are friends, co-workers, strangers or spouses is a waste of good energy. Instead it would be more rewarding to love the people that already love us, that get us and that have proven they are capable of loving us back.
Like many people out there I spent a lot of time trying to get my husband's mother to like me. In fact I was completely sure she would end up loving me. I was under the false impression that because my former mother in law thought I was the best thing since sliced bread that this would be a synch. I could not have been more wrong. I guess I could detail every word in the letter she wrote me insulting me and telling me how she had told her son to leave me but I would be giving her way too much power which is what we do when we plead for others to like us and we spend all our time trying to figure out why they don't. Suffice to say that my peace and balance came to me when I decided that there was really no good reason for me to continue to place my energy and time into a person who is either not capable of loving, not interested in loving me or has chosen not to love me. Today I feel more complete knowing that the people who love me don't need for me to prove anything to them and that they are capable of loving me so it makes sense to put my eggs in that basket.
I think spirit asks that we do our best to love everyone. I think that this is a lovely thought in theory. I also feel like we can love people from afar and not have to interact too much with them because doing so renders zero results. We don't have to dislike or hate the people who don't love us and we don't have to make a huge effort to get people to love us. We either connect or we don't and although there are other variables this basic premise is a good one to live by.
So love those who love you and place your efforts in loving those who love you. Take the time to be kind and compassionate to everyone you encounter and know that not everyone will love you without taking it personally. Spend your time loving the people who already love you and bless those who don't.
Activity;
Who in your life are you trying to hard to get to love you? why?
Who in your life have you spent way too much energy trying to get to like you? why?
Who in your life deserves and needs a little more of your love who already loves you?
What can you do to show those who love you more gratitude and love back?
hat
Back when we were all younger in elementary school we struggled at times to get those bad asses in school to not dislike us, in fact we kept hoping they would like us and perhaps not beat us up after school. It is sometimes that far back that we can reach and realise that we have been wanting someone to like us at some time or another for a lot of our life. Even those little assholes in school that we were frightened of were the same kids we wanted so much to be nice to us. The fact is that we learned this premise that far back and some of us are still practicing it, let's be honest.
I think a lot of us learned to seek approval from our teachers and mentors early on when it was common to say things like: "good girls don't sit that way and good boys don't play with Barbies". Ok, bad example. Nevertheless I think that we learned that we needed approval to feel validated and important, learning this at an early stage of life. We practiced it over and over and we had it reaffirmed repeatedly. We ended up believing that we needed to be liked in order to be whole. That turned into a bit of an obsession to be liked and loved and when we were not we questioned our value and still do.
Spending our energy trying to get others to like us, whether they are friends, co-workers, strangers or spouses is a waste of good energy. Instead it would be more rewarding to love the people that already love us, that get us and that have proven they are capable of loving us back.
Like many people out there I spent a lot of time trying to get my husband's mother to like me. In fact I was completely sure she would end up loving me. I was under the false impression that because my former mother in law thought I was the best thing since sliced bread that this would be a synch. I could not have been more wrong. I guess I could detail every word in the letter she wrote me insulting me and telling me how she had told her son to leave me but I would be giving her way too much power which is what we do when we plead for others to like us and we spend all our time trying to figure out why they don't. Suffice to say that my peace and balance came to me when I decided that there was really no good reason for me to continue to place my energy and time into a person who is either not capable of loving, not interested in loving me or has chosen not to love me. Today I feel more complete knowing that the people who love me don't need for me to prove anything to them and that they are capable of loving me so it makes sense to put my eggs in that basket.
I think spirit asks that we do our best to love everyone. I think that this is a lovely thought in theory. I also feel like we can love people from afar and not have to interact too much with them because doing so renders zero results. We don't have to dislike or hate the people who don't love us and we don't have to make a huge effort to get people to love us. We either connect or we don't and although there are other variables this basic premise is a good one to live by.
So love those who love you and place your efforts in loving those who love you. Take the time to be kind and compassionate to everyone you encounter and know that not everyone will love you without taking it personally. Spend your time loving the people who already love you and bless those who don't.
Activity;
Who in your life are you trying to hard to get to love you? why?
Who in your life have you spent way too much energy trying to get to like you? why?
Who in your life deserves and needs a little more of your love who already loves you?
What can you do to show those who love you more gratitude and love back?
hat
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