Are You Afraid of the Dark?
We are all made up of darkness and lightness. The goal is to be in the lightness more often than not and to embrace the dark parts with a sense of compassion, acceptance and forgiveness.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
It may be hard for many of us to understand that we have these dark parts while for others it is difficult to see the light parts of who they are. The fact is that we have dark feelings and there will be times when everything in our life looks dark. Avoiding our dark parts or not admitting to them is a sure path to a life that is lived on the surface where deep feelings are often times avoided. Since we are all made up of dark and light parts, thoughts, experiences and are living in a world that is imperfect it is important to be accepting of the darkness and to know that living in denial of those parts of us will only lead us to a life that is null and avoid of real feelings.
Bill grew up in his words in a "Leave It To Beaver" family. Nothing compares to the fake and rather unreal depiction of family as this old TV show. Although it was entertaining for me as a child it was one of the most false realities about family and the interactions between siblings and parents in a setting that was also unrealistic. I did not believe this fictional story he created but he would repeat it at every turn until at one session he admitted that when he was 5 his father caught him playing with a girl next door with Barbies and was soon after sent to a therapist and that at 22 he attempted to commit suicide. After some prodding he then admitted that his "worse fear" was his mother and her disapproval of him. For years Bill lived in a basement unit in filth and in darkness like few have seen manifest in a home. For a man who said he was raised in a "Leave It To Beaver Family" this was not quite matching his sugar coated story. In addition he later came out as gay and although he attempted to try to convince everyone around him that his family was liberal they were in fact bigoted Republicans who were more overtly racist than not. Nothing about Bill's story matched up yet like him there are many of us who make up a story that is more rose colored for our own consumption and to appear as though our life was perfect and that darkness is foreign to us when in fact it is obviously not.
Being in denial about our darkness is not helpful and in fact is harmful. People around us know we are not perfect and no matter how much we try to sell this lie about our life being so perfect and light filled in the end it catches up to us. We are in constant fear when we refuse to admit that we have dark feelings around sex, religion, people, relationships or other matters of the heart. The sooner we admit that there is darkness in us we can address our fears and we can live a life that is authentic and honest. We can feel our deeper feelings and we can understand that those deep feelings whether light or dark are part of who we are as humans with flaws and imperfections. Lying about who we are to others will not make it so nor denying our past experiences. We are made up of both the bad and good things that have happened to us and trying so hard to appear perfect is only going to backlash on us in the form of depression and anxiety. I don't mean to say that we should hold on to the darkness like a badge of honor but that we look at it in the face with courage and then find our way back to the light once we understand that darkness by forgiving ourselves and others around those dark times.
Are you afraid of the dark? You will know this truth if you are avoiding darkness or denying it. You know you are living in fear of the darkness if you are running all the time and trying to stay busy or if you are obsessed with doing things all the time and avoiding the silence and the reverence of meditation and inner thoughts. My friends, you can only overcome the darkness by admitting to it and like a warrior looking at that darkness and proceeding to address it or forgive it and move on. You may not want to tell everyone about your darkness and your past challenges but when you are in a relationship it will surface and lying about it does no good. Perhaps if we don't admit our darkness we can appear perfect? This about that my beloveds. Think about it and ask yourself: "Am I serious?"
Elliott Maximo Collazo
It may be hard for many of us to understand that we have these dark parts while for others it is difficult to see the light parts of who they are. The fact is that we have dark feelings and there will be times when everything in our life looks dark. Avoiding our dark parts or not admitting to them is a sure path to a life that is lived on the surface where deep feelings are often times avoided. Since we are all made up of dark and light parts, thoughts, experiences and are living in a world that is imperfect it is important to be accepting of the darkness and to know that living in denial of those parts of us will only lead us to a life that is null and avoid of real feelings.
Bill grew up in his words in a "Leave It To Beaver" family. Nothing compares to the fake and rather unreal depiction of family as this old TV show. Although it was entertaining for me as a child it was one of the most false realities about family and the interactions between siblings and parents in a setting that was also unrealistic. I did not believe this fictional story he created but he would repeat it at every turn until at one session he admitted that when he was 5 his father caught him playing with a girl next door with Barbies and was soon after sent to a therapist and that at 22 he attempted to commit suicide. After some prodding he then admitted that his "worse fear" was his mother and her disapproval of him. For years Bill lived in a basement unit in filth and in darkness like few have seen manifest in a home. For a man who said he was raised in a "Leave It To Beaver Family" this was not quite matching his sugar coated story. In addition he later came out as gay and although he attempted to try to convince everyone around him that his family was liberal they were in fact bigoted Republicans who were more overtly racist than not. Nothing about Bill's story matched up yet like him there are many of us who make up a story that is more rose colored for our own consumption and to appear as though our life was perfect and that darkness is foreign to us when in fact it is obviously not.
Being in denial about our darkness is not helpful and in fact is harmful. People around us know we are not perfect and no matter how much we try to sell this lie about our life being so perfect and light filled in the end it catches up to us. We are in constant fear when we refuse to admit that we have dark feelings around sex, religion, people, relationships or other matters of the heart. The sooner we admit that there is darkness in us we can address our fears and we can live a life that is authentic and honest. We can feel our deeper feelings and we can understand that those deep feelings whether light or dark are part of who we are as humans with flaws and imperfections. Lying about who we are to others will not make it so nor denying our past experiences. We are made up of both the bad and good things that have happened to us and trying so hard to appear perfect is only going to backlash on us in the form of depression and anxiety. I don't mean to say that we should hold on to the darkness like a badge of honor but that we look at it in the face with courage and then find our way back to the light once we understand that darkness by forgiving ourselves and others around those dark times.
Are you afraid of the dark? You will know this truth if you are avoiding darkness or denying it. You know you are living in fear of the darkness if you are running all the time and trying to stay busy or if you are obsessed with doing things all the time and avoiding the silence and the reverence of meditation and inner thoughts. My friends, you can only overcome the darkness by admitting to it and like a warrior looking at that darkness and proceeding to address it or forgive it and move on. You may not want to tell everyone about your darkness and your past challenges but when you are in a relationship it will surface and lying about it does no good. Perhaps if we don't admit our darkness we can appear perfect? This about that my beloveds. Think about it and ask yourself: "Am I serious?"
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