Stop The Abuse By...

Abuse has become the most serious issue in our society.  Much of this abuse is targeted towards women while children are not far behind.  We can stop the abuse with awareness, self-healing work, zero tolerance and compassion.  Here are my thoughts:

Creating Awareness:
We can never stop any negative acts without first creating an awareness of the issue.  We must be willing to face the issue of abuse and put a spotlight onto it.  This can be done in our school system by bringing the severity of abuse to our young people's awareness.  There needs to be a dialog in every classroom in every school starting in elementary school, in high schools and even in college classrooms.  We cannot let this issue take a quiet space somewhere in the back of our minds but rather raise the volume up on it and if need be loudly share our support of women and children being abused every day in our country.  Right now the volume is not high enough.

Self-healing work:
We need to understand that abuse will never stop until we create a space for people who are troubled and angry to do self-healing work.  We have to catch the abuser early on when they are children and acting out in ways that are violent and inappropriate.  It is then that we must offer troubled souls a way to heal through programs that are created and led by professionals in the field of mental health.  We must take the stigma out of mental illness and talk openly about what we are going to do to heal it.   Self-healing work is at the core of ending abuse in our country.

Zero tolerance:
We have to decide that we will not tolerate abuse any time or anywhere, ever.  We must have a "zero tolerance" around abuse of any kind, even subtle abuse.  This means that we don't allow abuse of any kind in our schools with our children.  This means that we must educate children and especially our males that abuse is not OK ever.  As people we must never allow abuse to take place in front of us or allow anyone to abuse us for any length of time.  We must send the message of no tolerance to everyone around us and in every school in the world.

Compassion:
It may seem hard for some of us to understand but we must have some form of compassion for people who are abusers.  We must look at this as an illness because in fact it is.  We will help stop the abuser by having compassion for him or her and offering them a way to get better and behave better.  We cannot change the abuser by shaming him or her but rather by shedding light and love onto them.  Compassion is something we all deserve and understanding the abuser is a human act, one that works in a positive way and by making understanding the abuser a goal.  We cannot stop abuse unless we understand that the person doing the abuse is sick and needs help.

I don't make it a secret that I was abused as a child and as an adult by people who I alleged to love me.  I share my own experiences with abuse in order to help others who feel ashamed to come out to people who really love them and get the help they need.  We may not cure the abuser and some may spend many years in jail but we must be willing to forgive abusers and give them a chance to be cured of their own inner demons.  Every day that we are on this earth must be spent in an attempt to make it a better place to live.  Abuse is not OK and in fact the less we tolerate it the better the chances that this illness will be cured.  Every woman who remains silent and every child who is afraid to report their abusive parent needs our support.  We must create a world that lets abused women and children know that they can be helped without judgement and without hate.  This is the only way we will finally put an end to abuse.  The question we must all ask our selves is: "What am I willing to do to stop the abuse and create more peaceful world of people?"

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