On Becoming Prince Charming
Perhaps asking any man to be Prince Charming is much to much to ask yet what I think is that we can all get closer to becoming all that is charming and all that is gentleman like. You may ask yourself: "Why would I want to become Prince Charming". Well, even if you don't care about becoming a prince like man consider exercising some of the traits of a man who is looked upon with favor and who can easily connect with women, either for friendship or love. Perhaps for some readers there is the thought that "there is no Prince Charming". Maybe the thought of a Prince Charming is the furthest thing from your reality yet let us all consider some of the attributes of a man that women are attracted to rather than repelled by. While some men are trained to be gentlemen and treat women with respect and compassion others are in denial about why women run from them.
I often times share the story of Tod who is currently 45 years old. Although he had a degree he worked for years as a bartender. Tod had one girlfriend who for many would be considered beautiful and who had a great personality. His dominant mother liked this girl although she was known to mettle and be uncouth around Tod's girlfriend. Things did not work out with this lovely girl who married her Prince Charming: someone nicer and someone who happened to be better looking than Tod. Tod went from job to job ( another sign of his inability to get along) and finally his relatively wealthy grandfather financed an insurance business for him and gave him his car. This of course made matters worse and Tod became more arrogant and now he was unable to get to the second date with any woman. Women could see right through Tod and know that he was not charming and that he was not a gentleman when he would have the nerve to ask them if they wanted to have children right away and could not manage to get through the date without judging the woman. In fact Tod is a privileged, arrogant, rude, immature man who will likely be single the rest of his life. When asked about his love life he will often respond with "I don't have time". In fact the thought of relationship and doing the work required of him is scary and not something he can do. Although he could become Prince Charming and women would give him a chance, Tod has not desire to change and unfortunately his mommy, a woman, supports and promotes his dysfunctional behavior. Tod is an excellent specimen of a man who believes there is nothing wrong with him and who will continue to do the same thing and get the same poor results in the area of love.
So let me as they say "cut to the chase" and share some vital information for men who are willing to change and who unlike Tod do not think themselves a gift to women from God:
Be humble and respectful:
When you are interacting with a woman be humble and respectful of them. Arrogance and bravado turn women off so think the opposite of that. Being humble means that you are not talking about yourself and trying to impress the woman with materials things or talk of how much money or prestige you think you have. Women want to know who you are at the core of your being and not how much you make a year of whether you drive a Mercedes. Although those things are great they really want to be respected. Look at their eyes when you speak to them and keep a normal safe distance when you are talking to them. Respect women by not asking inappropriate questions like the one Tod asked on a first date.
Be a gentleman:
Although there are some women who don't care about a man opening their door or pulling out their chair so they can be seated, most women love a gentleman. You can truly be a Prince Charming just by making sure to stay alert and do those things that are gentleman actions. In fact when you pick her up make sure to be outside your car opening the door for her to get in and that you have a single rose in the car that you hand to her. Offer your arm to her as you walk any distance during the date and make sure to let her enter every building in front of you while you hold the door open. Never walk in front of her and in fact if there is an obstruction lead her in front of you as you pass others on a sidewalk or corridor. If you are awake and conscious you will know what to do at every moment.
Talk less and listen more:
I always share this truth with men who are consider themselves good at talking with women. The difference is that although they may be good at talking they are not good at communicating. Communication is when we listen more than we speak. And with women it is important to read between the lines because they will share subtle messages about what they like and don't like, what they want and don't want and how they like to be honored. Listening well will help you to know her better but moreover to understand what it is that you can do to see her and know her better.
Dress it up:
It is hard to believe how many men do not know how to dress and what to wear for what occasions. If you don't know what you should wear wear something basic like: black pants, white shirt, blazer and black dress shoes with black socks. A nice black or dark blue jean that fits nicely with a white shirt and a jacket is great for a more casual look. Take the time to select something sharp to wear and continue to care enough to show up looking like a Prince. This may take you getting some advise and if that is the case do that. It will be worth it.
Mind your manners:
A prince makes sure to say thank you and excuse me when needed. He is the kind of man who is mindful of the way he says things and makes sure to say "thank you" and other such basics things that shows the woman he is respectful. It may sound trite but many men forget their manners when they are what I refer to as "in lust". Using good manners is a basic character trait of people who are charming and know how to behave in public. It is shocking how easily we forget to mind our manners but we do.
Ask questions:
Rather than to focus on yourself focus on her. Ask questions that are not invasive and that are light hearted, especially when getting to know her. A Prince never asks a woman her age for example. Asking about what she likes to do for entertainment and what her favorite foods are may seem silly or unimportant but they are good ways to start a dialog that is interesting and that flows. Getting too serious right away is not the best thing to do when getting to know someone. It is better to sit back and observe and over time see what she is like rather than to try to get to know her fast as if it were a "speed date".
Feature her at all times:
A woman likes to feel as though you believe she is beautiful and worthy of featuring. When you are out with her make sure that she is the center of attention and not you. A Prince introduces his princess and that is the very first thing you should do in public venues where it's appropriate.
So there you have it my male counterparts. You may not be a Prince Charming now but trust me if you make an attempt you will get closer to that which women love.
I often times share the story of Tod who is currently 45 years old. Although he had a degree he worked for years as a bartender. Tod had one girlfriend who for many would be considered beautiful and who had a great personality. His dominant mother liked this girl although she was known to mettle and be uncouth around Tod's girlfriend. Things did not work out with this lovely girl who married her Prince Charming: someone nicer and someone who happened to be better looking than Tod. Tod went from job to job ( another sign of his inability to get along) and finally his relatively wealthy grandfather financed an insurance business for him and gave him his car. This of course made matters worse and Tod became more arrogant and now he was unable to get to the second date with any woman. Women could see right through Tod and know that he was not charming and that he was not a gentleman when he would have the nerve to ask them if they wanted to have children right away and could not manage to get through the date without judging the woman. In fact Tod is a privileged, arrogant, rude, immature man who will likely be single the rest of his life. When asked about his love life he will often respond with "I don't have time". In fact the thought of relationship and doing the work required of him is scary and not something he can do. Although he could become Prince Charming and women would give him a chance, Tod has not desire to change and unfortunately his mommy, a woman, supports and promotes his dysfunctional behavior. Tod is an excellent specimen of a man who believes there is nothing wrong with him and who will continue to do the same thing and get the same poor results in the area of love.
So let me as they say "cut to the chase" and share some vital information for men who are willing to change and who unlike Tod do not think themselves a gift to women from God:
Be humble and respectful:
When you are interacting with a woman be humble and respectful of them. Arrogance and bravado turn women off so think the opposite of that. Being humble means that you are not talking about yourself and trying to impress the woman with materials things or talk of how much money or prestige you think you have. Women want to know who you are at the core of your being and not how much you make a year of whether you drive a Mercedes. Although those things are great they really want to be respected. Look at their eyes when you speak to them and keep a normal safe distance when you are talking to them. Respect women by not asking inappropriate questions like the one Tod asked on a first date.
Be a gentleman:
Although there are some women who don't care about a man opening their door or pulling out their chair so they can be seated, most women love a gentleman. You can truly be a Prince Charming just by making sure to stay alert and do those things that are gentleman actions. In fact when you pick her up make sure to be outside your car opening the door for her to get in and that you have a single rose in the car that you hand to her. Offer your arm to her as you walk any distance during the date and make sure to let her enter every building in front of you while you hold the door open. Never walk in front of her and in fact if there is an obstruction lead her in front of you as you pass others on a sidewalk or corridor. If you are awake and conscious you will know what to do at every moment.
Talk less and listen more:
I always share this truth with men who are consider themselves good at talking with women. The difference is that although they may be good at talking they are not good at communicating. Communication is when we listen more than we speak. And with women it is important to read between the lines because they will share subtle messages about what they like and don't like, what they want and don't want and how they like to be honored. Listening well will help you to know her better but moreover to understand what it is that you can do to see her and know her better.
Dress it up:
It is hard to believe how many men do not know how to dress and what to wear for what occasions. If you don't know what you should wear wear something basic like: black pants, white shirt, blazer and black dress shoes with black socks. A nice black or dark blue jean that fits nicely with a white shirt and a jacket is great for a more casual look. Take the time to select something sharp to wear and continue to care enough to show up looking like a Prince. This may take you getting some advise and if that is the case do that. It will be worth it.
Mind your manners:
A prince makes sure to say thank you and excuse me when needed. He is the kind of man who is mindful of the way he says things and makes sure to say "thank you" and other such basics things that shows the woman he is respectful. It may sound trite but many men forget their manners when they are what I refer to as "in lust". Using good manners is a basic character trait of people who are charming and know how to behave in public. It is shocking how easily we forget to mind our manners but we do.
Ask questions:
Rather than to focus on yourself focus on her. Ask questions that are not invasive and that are light hearted, especially when getting to know her. A Prince never asks a woman her age for example. Asking about what she likes to do for entertainment and what her favorite foods are may seem silly or unimportant but they are good ways to start a dialog that is interesting and that flows. Getting too serious right away is not the best thing to do when getting to know someone. It is better to sit back and observe and over time see what she is like rather than to try to get to know her fast as if it were a "speed date".
Feature her at all times:
A woman likes to feel as though you believe she is beautiful and worthy of featuring. When you are out with her make sure that she is the center of attention and not you. A Prince introduces his princess and that is the very first thing you should do in public venues where it's appropriate.
So there you have it my male counterparts. You may not be a Prince Charming now but trust me if you make an attempt you will get closer to that which women love.
Comments
Post a Comment